


Incorruptible

by pandorasv13



Series: Incorruptible [1]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Character Death, Illegal Activities, M/M, Manipulation, Misunderstandings, Romance, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:18:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 50
Words: 60,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorasv13/pseuds/pandorasv13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people live like they’re never going to get another chance to live. We don’t even understand what living means, yet we make these assumptions and standards to structure morals. There’s no right or wrong. There’s only popular opinion and a shallow desire to be “good” or more likely acceptable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Perspective

 

No one notices because I don’t make a production out of it.

Everyone has this problem and I’m just another face in the crowd of victims. There’s nothing to say about my feelings. I know that I am not alone.

Yet why doesn’t anyone else?

There’s a boy I see who’s picked on everyday of his life. And yet, he comes to class proudly showing off his bruises and cuts to gain silent sympathy and the obnoxious affection of his slowly forming band of friends. I hear them day after day talking about how to get out of the situation, but the boy never listens. He always says he’ll help and avenge himself as if it was a sworn duty.

In the end though, he just gets in the way. He gets beaten to a pulp while trying to protect his friends who are trying to protect him. Why do people do this?

Why must they make a show out of it?

Bullies feed on the desperation of the weak and helpless. They want to see the fear in your eyes and hear the cowardly tremble in your voice. In their minds, that is called power. Without power, they have nothing.

But that won’t change whether or not you’re bullied. I’m treated that way because of my tiny presence. If I was louder and bolder, they would come in hoards and attack like vultures. I don’t want to be something I’m not and that’s why there’s no reason to change myself like that boy. He hates himself and bullies can see that fact.

I love who I am. It doesn’t matter if other people don’t agree.

“What’re you reading?” Cho Kyuhyun scoffed as he nearly tore the book from the bullied boy’s hands. “Can an idiot like you even understand this simple English, Mir?”

That’s a nickname Kyuhyun gave the boy. I’m not sure what it means, but I just call him that as well. It’s easier than his real name. Whenever I watch one of these horribly amusing scenes, all I can think about is how Mir purposefully takes the spotlight as if he’s playing a coveted role. I could almost see the spotlights and curtains. I often wonder if he thinks that deep down Kyuhyun actually has feelings for him.

If that was possible, I would know by now. The person named Cho Kyuhyun isn’t your average gangster or bully. He was recently released after one year in juvenile prison. The original conviction was for violence, drug abuse, alcohol distribution, and underage alcohol consumption. I swear I’m not a stalker. There’s just always a reason for someone to be harassed. The reason why I’m harassed? My father is Kyuhyun’s parole officer.

I don’t really mind being in that position. Kyuhyun knows when to stop. If he goes too far, that just means he’ll be back in court before he can even utter an apology. Of course, these miniscule facts have nothing to do with his outright rudeness towards me. That’s just Cho Kyuhyun for you though.

He’s quite the eye-opener into human evil.

Often, I’ve found that the worst of people are the most beautiful and certainly, Kyuhyun fit that description. That was why he stayed that popular. He wasn’t really normal in any sense. His mind was excellent when sober and sound. His physical abilities were also top notch when he was at a fully conscious and aware state.

“Why do you always have to pick on him?” Mir’s little band of friends crowed. “It’s not like he did a bad thing.”

Kyuhyun gritted his teeth, leg lifting up in a fast and swift motion. Just as he was about to connect with the oblivious boy’s neck, the delinquent caught my eye and smirked. He took a deep breath and stepped back from the horrified boy. Lifting his arms up, he looked like he was making a sign of surrender, but then he swung his leg into the desk, knocking it over. Kyuhyun looked at me again, winked, and then stuck his tongue out like a child.

He could be cute when he wanted to. If you ignored the desk he probably just broke, Cho Kyuhyun looked like a complete angel.

“Mir, don’t cry,” one of his friends whispered urgently. The boy’s name was Seungho, I think. Or maybe it was Taemin? Hmm…sorry, I’m not very good with remembering everyone’s names.

“What? You’re crying again?” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and snatched Mir by the collar. “Hold back his friends.” He then yanked the kid to the door, shoving it open and dragging Mir out of sight.

It was only a guess, but I think it was a pretty good guess that wherever they were going would be filled with unspeakable things. Maybe violent. Probably less.

After all, if it was violent, then Mir would’ve come back with bruises all over and blood on his clothes. Furthermore, Kyuhyun wasn’t stupid enough to beat someone up right in front of me.

I was a watchdog. I was his GPS tracker. I symbolized everything that restrained him.

 

***

 

“How was Kyuhyun today?”

I sat down at the dinner table just in time to see my father getting up to wash his plates before heading off to work. There was an array of food in front of me and a bowl of rice. “He’s a habitual liar, isn’t he?” I asked, picking up my chopsticks.

“Shouldn’t that be obvious already?” he grunted. “That kid is so quick to protect himself and play those tricky games. But why are you asking?”

“He hasn’t done anything bad,” I assured before my father could get anxious, “It’s just that I think he’s messing around with one of the kids at school.”

“Huh,” he muttered, “well I shouldn’t be surprised. Kyuhyun would swing the other way just to piss off the rest of society. Make sure you don’t let him fool you, too. That stuff is just…,” he bristled and laughed, “…wrong. People like that need help in the head.”

I guess it would be a good time to point out that I am, in fact, more interested in guys than girls. But that’s to be expected right? My father put me in an all-boys’ school for all of my education. It would be weird if I liked girls.

“Alright, I’m heading out. Make sure you lock up and don’t answer any calls unless they’re from Kyuhyun. And if they’re from Kyuhyun, make sure you forward the call to me immediately.” My dad was already halfway out the door by then. I just nodded in understanding and then he was gone.

It was strange for me sometimes. I mean, when your father cared more about a delinquent than you, it could be hard to communicate properly. He even blew off the fact that Kyuhyun was gay or bi or something like that. For me though, I’m pretty sure he would’ve screamed at me until I suddenly decided being with a girl is more convenient. That’s okay though. I know that that’s just how my father is. His life is his work, and his work is his life. There’s just no room for a son, right?

 

Some hours later, I was sitting upstairs in my room playing piano to pass the time. School work was minimal since the only reason I attended that school was to keep an eye on illegal behavior. I already said my father’s a total workaholic. He expects me to become an officer in the future and what better way to begin that sort of hard life than by living amongst the people I would arrest someday? I bet he never considered the possibility of me going bad as well.

Normally, I don’t think this much about my father, but recently it feels like he’s becoming more and more obsessed with Kyuhyun and the other troubled kids he keeps an eye on. I sort of wish I knew why it was like that.

 

 


	2. Glimpses

 

I don’t think many things are cute. Hell, I kind of think everything is fugly as shit.

But he’s cute. He’s really cute.

And do you know why he’s so cute? It’s because he knows he has power over me and yet he’s still scared of me. The kid knows that no matter what kind of authority he might have, I’m still bigger and stronger in the end.

What I do with him, I don’t consider bullying. Bullying is what I do to Mir. Kicking his desk over, treating him like he’s a waste of life, and just making his life absolute misery – those things are considered bullying. However, knocking over Ryeowook’s books, tripping him and throwing stuff at him is just a way of…getting to know him better? I want to see his reactions to everything, but most of the time he just has this tiny pout on his face and silently accepts it.

As for Mir, I sort of just wanted to see how much I could screw him up. That guy doesn’t even realize that there’s nothing between us. He seems to believe that somewhere deep down, I’m actually a good guy.

Even I know I’m not a good guy. That’s not to say I think I’m bad. I just think I’m different. If you look past all of the criminal stuff, I’m pretty smart and I’m handsome, too.

Peering around the darkened and trashed house, I could still see goons and women sprawled all around after last night’s fun.

This place belonged to a man named Choi Siwon and he made me look like an absolute angel. The man was in the big leagues. If I had to name off all of the crimes he had committed, I would need more than a few hours. As for why he hasn’t been put in jail…well, how can you be put in jail when you’re never actually responsible for anything on paper? It was a skill that all mob bosses had, apparently. They had their underlings do that shit for them and if there was a conviction, then Siwon would be clean.

Why are we in a run-down part of town – you might be asking? That’s because all of the fun is in this place. There’s nothing but officers and goody-goody kids in the suburban districts. Around here, you could get away with anything and no one would give a damn because we’re all supposedly low-lives ready to waste away.

Then again, maybe we are just that. It’s exciting though, and I would rather live this way than pretend that I belong anywhere else. The only reason I stick around that dumbass school is because my parole officer – Ryeowook’s old man – is watching me like a fucking hawk. I can’t do anything over the top or else he’ll be in front of me in the blink of an eye.

I lifted my phone up to my ear, listening impatiently to the dial tone.

“What?” that sweet voice sighed.

“Not happy to hear from me?” I grinned, throwing an arm back across the couch. “I need you to come get me for school.”

“Why?”

Lord, I loved that voice. It was so attractive. “Because I got fucking wasted last night and I can’t see straight,” I lied. “If you don’t wanna get me though, I can just call your dad and tell him that you weren’t watching me like the proper guard dog that you are.”

Ryeowook was silent, but then he forced out an answer, “You’re not drunk.”

“Aw, you know me so well,” I laughed, “C’mon. I’m at the usual place. See you.” I ended the call, yawning and stretching out on the soft, leather couch. The lights were off and the windows were covered up by tattered black tarp. There were some empty beer bottles on the concrete floor and random pieces of clothing hanging from the banister and tables and anywhere else clothes can get stuck.

“You heading out?” a guy named Yesung prompted. He was walking down the stairs, buttoning his suit jacket.

“Soon,” I answered, “Getting it on with a whore in your boyfriend’s place is dangerous, by the way.” I grinned at the blank expression on his face.

Completely straight-faced in his very Yesung way, he said, “It’s not dangerous when he’s watching it.” A brief smile passed his face as he unlatched the door and slammed it shut behind him.

I laughed to myself, eyes closing. I’ll never forget the first time I met Ryeowook. That was the night I got into some serious shit and his dad took me in. Of course, it wasn’t a permanent situation. I just needed a place to crash and then he would be taking me into the station by morning. As for the specifics, I can barely remember anymore.

What I do remember is the fifteen year old pretty boy that I saw at the top of the staircase. I thought he was a girl in the beginning; really, I mean, even his voice doesn’t give him away. Anyway, all I could think was: _fuck_. I could just imagine him under me, screaming my name, becoming tainted. I wanted to corrupt this officer’s precious kid. Hell, I still want to corrupt him.

Ryeowook is straight-laced, stiff-backed, and any other descriptor along those lines. I’ve never been able to get him past a certain point, but I’m starting to think maybe I should take it more seriously. All I have to do is put in a little more effort and he’ll bend under my will. Easy.

The door creaked open and I sat up. How long was I out for?

“Let’s go,” Ryeowook threw my school bag at me.

Grinning, I caught it and stood up. “You don’t sound very happy to see me. Shouldn’t it please you that you’re helping out that old fart?”

There was no amusement in his face. I wouldn’t have had it any other way, though. Ryeowook turned and started walking back into daylight and I easily caught up to him, keeping pace. “Aren’t you going to ask me what I did? He’ll wanna know,” I murmured, looking at him. His skin looked so soft and his hair was always so…clean. It doesn’t sound like much, but the world has a serious problem with hygiene. I guess I’m not an exception.

“No, I’m not,” he shook his head, refusing to look at me.

“You’re no fun,” I scoffed. You know how earlier, I was saying that I need to take it a step further? Well, it was now or later. I preferred now.

 

 


	3. Contemplation

 

This happens a lot. Kyuhyun would call me and although my dad has told me constantly that I need to forward all calls to him, I just don’t do that anymore. Why? Well, it depends on what Kyuhyun is asking. If it’s for a pick up, I’m expected to take care of it – sort of like an unwritten rule. If it’s something big like he’s being chased by someone, then I’m supposed to tell my father immediately. In any other situation, I am responsible for looking out for him. I don’t understand why it’s become like this, but I suppose you could assume that it’s because Kyuhyun is a top priority. Like I said before, my father has practically adopted him; therefore, he’s my problem when no one else is around.

And now, as we were walking through the slums of the city, I couldn’t help but think about how I’ve done this too many times already. The worst one had to be the night that he showed up at my back door drunk out of his mind and half naked. No, I don’t know what happened, nor do I want to know what happened. I just took him inside, cleaned him up, and put him to bed. My father never asked any questions.

“You’re no fun,” he complained.

Why would I be any fun? It wasn’t a fun situation. I hated everything about it. The places I had to go to get him and the people that were beginning to recognize me and the amount of time I spent thinking about him – all of it was frustrating and wrong.

Before I could say anything to him, his hand closed around my arm. Blood froze and I looked up at Kyuhyun. His expression was as pompous and cool as ever.

It all happened in a flurry. I slammed into a hard wall, and then lips were crushing mine. Breath hitching, I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to pull back from him. Kyuhyun just laughed, sending shivers down my spine. “Stop ignoring me,” he whispered against my ear, “Got it?”

“What is it?” I turned my head, biting back a gasp when those same lips were pressing against my throat.

No, I’m not calm. It’s just that this has happened before. Most things have happened before, to be fair. Kyuhyun doesn’t take these things seriously though. In his mind, it’s fun and games and sex. I’ve never slept with him or anyone else, but that was probably out of sheer luck and the fact that he never went as far as to push himself on me.

Again, maybe there are some mishaps here and there, but that’s to be expected with someone like Kyuhyun. He was always thinking and plotting and making me scared to even breathe.

I tried in vain to get away again, but he tightened his hold on my wrists, his teeth digging into the skin just above my collar bone. “I’m going to a party tonight,” he mumbled, tongue gliding across what I had a feeling was a forming bruise. “Come guard me like a good dog or I’ll get into some real dangerous shit.” Kyuhyun smiled against my neck. “You don’t wanna do anything to piss off that old man of yours, do you?”

That’s what made him so potentially horrifying. He had the brains of a genius and the personality of a villain. As for me, I was only a pawn in everyone’s games. Too many chains bound me, drowned me, and consumed me.

“Get off of me,” I rasped, “I’ll go.”

Kyuhyun pulled back the smallest bit. “I knew you were a smart kid.” He took my hand, yanking me away from the wall and down the street. “Let’s go then.”

I swallowed the urge to snap at him for only now wanting to go to school. Sighing, I allowed him to drag me along, using my free hand to button my uniform higher to hide the marks.

“Ashamed?”

I looked up to see his smirking face. “Yes, I am.”

Kyuhyun just grinned wider, eyes flashing. “Good.”

 

***

 

“You’re in love with Kyuhyun?! Are you crazy?” one of Mir’s friends exclaimed.

I had only been taking a short nap after lunch, but it was so quickly disturbed by their obnoxious voices. The rooftop was supposed to be off limits for all students, but I was allowed up there because I’m me. That’s the only reason I can think of.

Mir and his friends had recently broken the door though and were apparently regular visitors to the area. They still don’t know that I spend my lunches on the roof, mainly because I’m on the raised platform that covers the entrance. Every day I was stuck listening to their gossip until I just fell asleep from boredom.

“He and I have something special…I think,” he admitted shyly. “Whenever I’m around him, my heart beats faster and I just want to be near him all the time.”

“You’re crazy, crazy, crazy. His life has been about making you miserable. Can’t you see that?” the same friend demanded.

“Why are you getting so worked up?” a new voice chimed in, “It’s not like it affects you. Mir can have feelings for whoever he wants.”

“Cho fucking Kyuhyun isn’t just _anyone_. He’s bad in every sense of the word. How can you be so okay with Mir crushing on that guy?”

“He’s not as bad as you think!” Mir interrupted loudly.

My eyes shot open in surprise at the outburst. What was the kid talking about now? He really thought there was a good side to Kyuhyun? Even his good side was laced with bad. No one could ever uncover goodness in someone like him, because there was nothing to uncover. He was already too messed up to fix.

“Why? Tell me why you’re so adamant about defending the honor of a parole kid?”

Mir was quiet at first, but that didn’t stay true for long. “He…He told me about his life. He’s had it hard and I think that the more we talk about it, the more he opens up honestly. Like, his favorite dog died when he was little. His mother was a drug abuser and his father was a violent alcoholic. Both of them just let Kyuhyun do whatever he wanted.”

I frowned, trying to decide if it was inappropriate to laugh at those lies. The Cho Family was nothing like Mir had described. Kyuhyun’s father was a regular business man who killed himself due to anxiety disorder. His mother works as a dancer in the red light district. They’re still bad parents, but they aren’t at all like what Mir had heard. Neither of them had ever treated their son badly, well, as far as I knew.

Kyuhyun really had become a master at manipulating feelings. I’m pretty positive that his mother was a smoker, but that was it. All of his problems probably stemmed from personal choice. That was what made him such a terrifying person, in my eyes.

He has a mind of his own. He’s not trying to prove anything. Cho Kyuhyun is someone who wants to make an impression on the world – at least, that’s how I see it. There’s obviously thought behind all of his words and actions. So why did he tell Mir all those lies? Maybe he wanted to play the guy some more?

“If you start hanging out with his thugs, you better know that I don’t approve,” Mir-Friend (let’s call them that since I really don’t know their names) stated.

I rolled over, shuddering at the cheesiness of that line. Where were they getting their words? My gaze drifted over the tops of the buildings, past the residential streets, past the business district, and then they stopped when I reached the outskirts. I could almost see the black clouds hanging over them, telling people that it was where bad things happened.

Worst of all, that’s where I was going when night rose.  

 


	4. Behaviors

 

I live by three rules.

These are the only laws I respect.

  1. Life is a game.
  2. Love is a joke.
  3. Death is a new playing field.



Some people live like they’re never going to get another chance to live. We don’t even understand what living means, yet we make these assumptions and standards to structure morals. There’s no right or wrong. There’s only popular opinion and a shallow desire to be “good” or more likely _acceptable_. We can’t all define living in the same way and that’s why there are so-called criminals. They aren’t condemned to an afterlife of torture and flames and if they are, well that sucks. No one knows what comes next, though, and I don’t plan on finding out anytime soon because you might think that Rule #3 means I don’t value what I have. On the contrary, I do enjoy this game. I love “life”.

Rule #2 would probably label me as an abandoned, corrupt child with affection issues. Well, every doctor that spouts that shit can expect my fist in their face and my foot up their ass in the most volatile sense. Love is a joke because it’s abstract. Anything abstract is a joke. There’s no right or wrong answer and there never will be. What I feel is caused by a chemical reaction. What I think I feel is caused by even more chemical reactions. I won’t base my titles for people on just that. If I ever find someone who remotely affects me, then so be it. It isn’t love though. I wouldn’t dare consider the idea of love. What a sham.

And now we’re down to the last point of my moral compass. I don’t welcome or dismiss death. It’s just like when you reach the end of a video game. If there’s a sequel, then that’s your afterlife. If there’s a secret ending, then that’s your next move. If there’s nothing, well, then you unplug the game and start playing on a different difficulty level. An abundance of options exist, people just need to be aware of them. Most of the time, they aren’t, if you hadn’t noticed. So when I beat life, I’ll enter death and start over again. It’s not that scary. It shouldn’t be scary, to be clear.

“What’s wrong, Kyuhyun?”

I blinked, looking over at one of the few guys that weren’t afraid of me. “Going to a party tonight,” I stated, ignoring his question, “wanna come?”

He grinned in anticipation. “Definitely, where?”

“Warehouse district,” I muttered, eyes scanning over the heads of our classmates. “Third from the second row. There are two ‘X’s’ on the exterior. ” Across the room, Ryeowook was studying silently like a good kid. Next to him was a boy peeking over his book, taking sidelong glances at him. Sad. Pathetic. I wanted to puke looking at that trash. “Starts at midnight,” I finally finished, standing up and walking over to the stupid kid.

Just as I was about to reach him, a body stumbled into me. My head snapped down and I immediately felt a pang of irritation upon seeing Mir staring up at me with his damn-ugly puppy dog eyes. I already had a cute guard dog. I didn’t need two pups, especially when one of them was a sappy, ignorant slut. “Get out of my way,” I spat, shoving a desk in place of shoving Mir. If Ryeowook saw me throw a punch, he’d probably freak a shit and call his dad. It was too early to deal with annoying officers.

Mir flinched, but he didn’t seem to be backing down today. That was weird. His lips quivered and his eyes dilated. Slowly, he inhaled and said, “K-Kyuhyun, please stop this.”

_What?_

“I know you’ve had a hard time over the years, but this isn’t the way to do it,” he said quickly, voice rising. Mir tried to wrap his arms around me then, but without thinking I shoved him back. The kid flew and stumbled into a couple of tight knit desks. A look of surprise passed over his face.

I stared back at him, half-creeped-the-fuck-out and the other half amused. What did he think he was doing? “Don’t patronize me,” I chuckled, slamming the heel of my shoe into another desk. “I don’t give a damn about what you think is the right way.”

Mir kept his distance this time, saying, “But Kyuhyun, I know that you don’t want to do these things! We can get help. We…have other options.”

For once, I was glad that self study was taking so long. That meant no one would be coming back into the classroom for a little while. The only ones around to witness this embarrassment were a few guys in the corner, Ryeowook, and the nerd crushing on him. “There are no other options, so get out of my way before I force you to leave.” I glanced over at Ryeowook to find that he was only partially listening. Figured.

I wanted to monopolize all of his thoughts and days and hours, minutes, and seconds. If there was a way to monitor his every breath, I would. Ryeowook was the only one who I would pretend nice for, but even then, I couldn’t guarantee how nice I could actually manage to get.

“Did you just say something?” I asked Mir, looking at his expectant face. I must have missed something.

A light blush crept up his cheeks and I knew that it had to have been some emotional spiel. Mir clenched his fists shut and repeated himself, “I love you, that’s why I can’t get out of your way.”

Sickening.

“Let me get that right, you just said you love me?” I leaned forward, snatching his chin.

“Y-Yeah,” he stammered, swallowing hard.

I got even closer, hovering near his ear. “Don’t spout that shit to me. You don’t even know what I’m capable of and what I’ve done.” With a non-too-gentle push, I sent him stumbling backwards. It wasn’t a fall though.

Heading for the door, I slid it open, slamming it shut behind me. It didn’t take long for a small shadow to merge with mine. Without turning around, I asked, “And what do I owe the pleasure, dog?”

Ryeowook touched my wrist and I stopped. His fingers were so delicate and tentative; I couldn’t help but snatch it, holding it as I shifted around to face him.

“What’s up?” I murmured, peering down into those dark, absorbing eyes.

“You’re leading him on,” Ryeowook stated.

My mouth twitched of its own accord. A smirk was forming and I couldn’t stop it. “I’m not leading him on. Didn’t you hear me dismiss him just now? I should be praised.”

“You’re playing him again,” he retorted, a flicker of annoyance in those pretty depths, “But that’s not what I care about. If you pull him in further, then I’ll be in trouble.”

Was Kim Ryeowook really telling me off? How cute. I yanked him aside, finding privacy in an empty classroom. The light was fading in and out with the shuddering blinds. I pinned him back against one of the desks, casually pressing my legs against his. “Worried about your future?” My hand curled around his jaw, leading it up so our eyes could meet more easily. “If you’re scared, then just keep him away from me.” I popped the top button of his uniform, sliding my hand over the hickey I had made that morning, “Or better yet, keep me away from him. That shouldn’t be hard, right?” Another button came undone. “I won’t make it hard for you, I swear,” I dragged my teeth across his exposed skin, chuckling at how rigid he became.

“Why do you keep doing this today?” Ryeowook demanded, squirming away.

My fingers tangled in his hair, jerking his head to the side. I dug into his throat, grinning at the cry I elicited from him. Pursing my lips, I smoothed back over the wound, feeling him relax under the touch. “Because I only now started realizing how much fun you are.” It was a lie, but he didn’t need to know that. He had always been fun in my mind, except now, I realized just how easy he was to control.

“Don’t take things any further with Mir,” Ryeowook’s hands closed around my shoulders, his breath soft and airy.

My eyes widened and I backed up without thinking. He released me just as quickly, buttoning his shirt back up as he slipped past me. I was about to call out to him, but Ryeowook was already slamming the door shut between us.

Clicking my tongue, I leaned back against the desk. He had actually touched me…and I wouldn’t forget that. “Tonight’s going to be fun,” I mumbled, touching my lips softly.

 


	5. Games

 

“I’m heading out then.”

“Be careful,” I answered, watching my father shut the door and lock it behind him. He was rarely home ever since he was promoted. Before that, he wasn’t home much, but now it was a quick dinner and then he would be out of the house. Although I did say my father was a police officer, it was a little more than that. He worked for the government – not quite an agent, but he wasn’t just a local law enforcer either. I don’t really know what his job is. I don’t prefer to ask either.

After finishing the dishes, I checked the clock, a knot tightening in the pit of my stomach as the long hand neared eight-thirty. In a few hours, I was expected to be out with Kyuhyun doing who-knew-what. Trust me when I say that I had been trying desperately to not think about it.

Sighing, I climbed the stairs, grabbed fresh pajamas from my room and then went off to the bathroom.

The shower ended fast. Doing homework was even faster. Piano practice flew by.

I yawned just as a loud rapping from downstairs shocked me. Forcing down the bile, I stood up, grabbed my sweatshirt and shuffled down the steps. Unlocking the door, I found that irritatingly devilish smirk emerging from the shadows. His eyes were bright and feral, tousled hair fluttering with the night breeze.

If someone could look like an angel and possess the heart and mind of a demon, where was the justice in the world? Maybe there wasn’t any. Yeah, that had to be it.

“You’re not seriously wearing that are you?” Kyuhyun looked me up and down disapprovingly. “Try again.”

“I don’t own the kind of clothes you’re thinking of,” I answered tightly.

He invited himself in, hands tucked in his pockets. “And what kind of clothing do you think I want?” Kyuhyun teased. I didn’t answer, not that he seemed to mind. “C’mon. I’ll find something in that ancient wardrobe of yours.”

I followed him back upstairs, taking the time to make a judgment of my own. Originally, I wanted to mentally assault his clothing, but found that the only thing I could think was that his butt was big. For a male, he really did have a round rear – not to sound too strange. Other than that, the way he dressed was flattering in every sense of the word. If anything, studying him had made me self-conscious. Rubbing my head, I pushed away the thoughts, not wanting to get caught up in anything else involving Kyuhyun. I was already in too deep.

“Fuck, you own pants like these?”

Looking up, I saw him holding up a pair of tight black pants. “They were for a play,” I explained quickly.

Kyuhyun smirked and threw it at me. “Doesn’t matter. They’re hot.” He turned back to the closet, digging around until he found a shirt that was cool enough by his standards. “Here, get changed.” Kyuhyun crossed his arms, leaning against the wall.

“Get out,” I ground out.

He made a face and rolled his eyes, but left the room anyway.

I changed slowly; half-hoping that Kyuhyun would get impatient and leave me behind, but he didn’t. It took several minutes, before I agreed to step outside. He looked me up and down again, nodding slowly. “That’s good.”

Without further ado, we were heading out into the night. “Are we walking?” I asked.

“No, someone’s coming to get us at the next intersection.”

Just as he said, at the next crossroads, we came face to face with a black car. There was nothing special or outstanding about it. Kyuhyun opened up the back door, climbing inside after nodding at me to get in.

Shutting the door behind me, I looked around the backseat, ice pouring through veins when I saw Mir. “What…,” I trailed off.

“Why are you here, Ryeowook?” he seemed equally surprised to see me. Mir turned to Kyuhyun, placing a hand on his chest. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I invited him. That’s all,” Kyuhyun answered nonchalantly. He dropped his arm around Mir’s shoulders, pulling the boy against his body.

I clenched my fists, catching his eye in the flickering lights that flashed through the windows as the car rolled down the street. It was a challenge – another game. He wanted to see me fight. And the saddest thing was that I had no choice. If I didn’t, a completely harmless if not slightly annoying kid was going to be sucked into something dangerous.

Maybe it was more than a challenge. It was an ultimatum. Kyuhyun only knew how to play the extremist. Anything less was considered boring in his world.

“Hey Mir,” I called out interrupting what looked to be a rather cozy embrace on the other end of the car.

“What’s up?” he tilted his head, looking at me expectantly. Behind him, I saw Kyuhyun watching in amusement.

“You made a really big confession in class today,” I faked a casual voice, “I’m surprised someone as kind as you is interested in Kyuhyun.” My own sugary sweet words made me want to puke. I shot a glare at Kyuhyun who apparently was struggling to not laugh.

Mir smiled in understanding. “Well, I just think that everyone needs a second chance and that starts with someone who will trust them unconditionally. I feel like I can and want to do this for him.” He tilted his head back to give Kyuhyun an affectionate gaze.

Lord. I dug my fingers into the seat cushion, trying not to lash out. It was aggravating how stupid this kid had to be. No wonder he had been so easy to manipulate. In fact, he was easier to mess with than me and that was saying a lot. “But Mir, aren’t you scared of him?” I laughed it off, dispelling my seriousness.

“No,” he laughed along, “well, not really. I mean, how could I not be scared of him?” He shrugged helplessly, “But I want to trust him and that’s what’s important, I think.”

What childish bullshit. I didn’t get involved with people for several reasons, and one of them was this. They couldn’t comprehend the simplest things. For Mir, he couldn’t see past his haze of stereotypical bad-boy-changes-for-the-hero. Being scared of someone means you don’t trust them. Attempting to trust someone means you can’t be afraid of them either. But here he was, trying to do the impossible with one foot in the door and the other out. He didn’t actually care about Kyuhyun, and rightly so. The only problem was that he didn’t know or accept that he was just playing a part.

“Oh, I see,” I lied through my teeth, smiling again.

The car jerked to a stop. I couldn’t have been happier to get out of there. Just as I planted my feet on the ground, I realized that the other door hadn’t opened yet. Bending down, I peered back inside, seeing Kyuhyun and Mir still tightly wound up in each other. “Are you two coming?” I went on with the act.

“We’ll be there soon,” Kyuhyun answered casually, “go have fun and mingle, Ryeo-ah.”

I shut the door, turning around to see multi-colored lights bursting through the glass windows. There were people spilling out into the streets holding bottles and cups. They were giggling or yelling or just making a ruckus in general. I glanced back at the car one more time. “Asshole.”

 


	6. Illusion

 

Ryeowook was a better actor than I ever gave him credit for. It was too funny watching him interacting with Mir. Who would’ve thought he’d be that pissed off by the guy’s shallowness? Better yet, I was starting to see that Ryeowook didn’t know how to play with other people. His world was narrow and empty and oh-so easy at this point to mold into whatever shape a person desired.

I pushed Mir off of me as we finished. Zipping my pants back up, I shoved the door open, climbing out. “Clean up. I’m going inside.”

“Wait, Kyuhyun!”

“What?” I paused, a hand on the edge of the door.

He scrambled to pull his shirt down and fix his mussed hair. “W-Was it good?”

How pathetic. I smiled a little. “Keep practicing.” Then I shut the door on him, walking around to the building. He really wanted to know something so stupid? It didn’t matter if it was good or not. Tonight was about Ryeowook and pissing him the fuck out of his mind. I wanted to see another side of him. Mir was just a convenient tool. He would always be a convenient tool.

“There you are!”

Up ahead, some of the guys I had invited from school were coming towards me with drinks. Taking one, I joined them as they rounded back into the deafening pit of bodies and booze. Somewhere in the mess was Ryeowook and somewhere up on the second floor were Siwon and Yesung. They wouldn’t miss this for the world.

Indulgence was their game.

The slums were their current interest.

I didn’t really know what I would do when they finally decided to pack up and move away. I would probably go back to local groups, find a gang to pass the time, and wreak just enough havoc to keep Ryeowook busy.

“Where have you been?” a voice shouted over the music, arms tangling around my neck. Someone’s lithe body ground into me and I groaned into their ear, sliding hands up the back of their shirt.

“Fucking some slut,” I mumbled, pressing my leg between their inner thighs, “you wanna be next?”

The girl laughed and I grinned in return, not able to see her face in the darkness. I’m sure I knew who she was, but it didn’t matter much at the moment. She must have agreed because her body wriggled away and a hand closed around mine, pulling me out of the mass of people.

Before we got very far though, my eyes caught sight of a much more attractive form. Pulling away, I drifted away from her, knowing very well that it would be nearly impossible to find me again in that crowd. Following the flow, I pushed my arm through the throngs, fingers closing around Ryeowook’s sweaty shoulder.

He stumbled backwards and I caught him quickly, tightly binding him in my arms. That tiny backside pressed into me. Licking my lips, I tilted my head down, kissing his jaw. “Good, you’re still alive,” I joked, running my fingers over his chest and stomach through the thin, clinging shirt.

“I don’t feel well,” he croaked.

“What?” I frowned, turning him around to inspect his face. It was hard to see in the strobe lights, but it looked like he was pale and sweatier than he should’ve been. “Fuck, what did you drink?” I gripped his wrist hard, cutting a path towards the staircase. Ascending them quickly, I kicked open the bathroom, shoving Ryeowook over the toilet.

Almost immediately, he was hurling into the water. Wincing, I kneeled down next to him, rubbing his backside slowly. There were a few heads peeking in through the open doorway, so I kicked it shut. Annoying.

“Seriously, what did you drink?” I murmured.

“Just…beer…I think,” he shook his head, dry-heaving.

 

New fact: Ryeowook was a total light weight. He might even border on being allergic to alcohol if he was puking from just one beer.

 

I don’t know how much time passed, but it must’ve been a while because when I was picking Ryeowook up off the ground, he was half-dozing and there was a significantly long line of people waiting for the toilet. I ignored their complaints, carrying Ryeowook on my back to one of the bedrooms. No, I wasn’t going to rape him or anything. I’m not that desperate. If I wanted him, I could get him without being a sexual predator.

Pushing the door shut with my foot, I laid him down on the bed, flicking on a table lamp afterwards. His face was regaining some color and it looked like he wasn’t going to vomit again anytime soon.

See, there’s a whole chain of issues that could arise if Ryeowook was screwed over that night. For one, I would be busted by his dad big time. Second, I would never get to play with him again and if you knew him personally, you would know that he’s hell of a lot more interesting than the people I’m stuck with.

“Kyuhyun?” he rasped.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, looking down at him. “Yeah?” I was tempted to throw a few sarcastic remarks his way, but somehow I stopped myself.

“I would say thank you,” Ryeowook muttered, “if you weren’t the one who forced me to come.”

He’s so perfect. I couldn’t think of someone more suited to be my guard dog. It was like a pure kid with the mind of a punk. Deep down, I knew he was the most innocent person out there, but that’s what made him so easy to pollute, and not just by outside forces. He tainted himself everyday as he was exposed to more and more evil. That purity was being muddled with reality and I didn’t know how nor did I care to stop it from happening.

“That sounds about right,” I laughed.

We stayed in silence for a while, the booming of heavy bass the only thing cutting through the muffled room.

Ryeowook broke it again though. “Do you trust me, Kyuhyun?”

 


	7. Trust

 

Kyuhyun gazed down at me thoughtfully. There were emotions swimming in those dark pools, I just couldn’t differentiate what was what.

I don’t know why I asked him that question. It just felt appropriate – or maybe I was just too delirious to understand what was going on. Unable to stand the silence for more than a few seconds, I started talking again, closing my eyes at the same time. “I don’t trust you, but I believe that you’ll always take responsibility for the things that affect you. If it comes back to you, then it must be taken care of completely.” Slowly, I exhaled, rolling onto my side. “…You watch out for yourself first and foremost. If other people get involved, then they’re just loose threads that need to be dealt with…am I right?”

“If that’s your definition of distrust, then no, I don’t distrust you.”

My eyes opened of their own accord.

He was still watching me, one of those smooth, porcelain hands brushing my cheek. “You’re not conniving enough to match me. I trust that you’ll be there when I need you, because you’ve always been there. I don’t know anything else.”

“Relying on me isn’t a good idea.”

“There’s no one else I trust with my life.”

I will always blame it on fatigue as the reason for why I leaned into his touch. The fingertips traced down to my jaw, sliding across and pausing at the chain. I tilted my head back subtly, letting Kyuhyun run the pad of his thumb on my lower lip. “I’m not a stable support system,” my voice came out as a whisper.

“You’re the most stable support system I’ve ever had,” he shrugged, smiling with some degree of sincerity. I still couldn’t see past the layers of defense though. Kyuhyun probably wouldn’t ever let anyone see past those layers.

Slowly, my eyes grew heavy and before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

 

Morning came in a flurry. I woke up to a thunderous pounding in my head and a sore throat. Head whipping around, I found the bedroom bathed in pale blue light. The sun must have just begun to rise.

Stumbling to my feet, I used the walls as a guide, feeling my way towards the closed door. It must have taken a decent amount of time to get there because I was absolutely exhausted by the time I reached the door. When I twisted the knob though, it was stuck. Wiggling it a few times, I groaned out loud: finding it locked. “Dammit,” I breathed, coughing and banging on the door.

It rattled opened a second later and I backed up, seeing Kyuhyun on the other side of the threshold. His hair was windswept and he looked pretty out of it. “Why are you up so early?” he complained, grimacing.

“Get me home,” I shoved past him, stumbling towards the staircase.

“Chill for a second,” he grabbed my arm, yanking me back.

I glowered at him through the migraine. “Why?”

“Because you can’t even see straight. I’m not about to watch you fall down the stairs and break your neck.” Kyuhyun turned us around, guiding me firmly down the steps. He was right, of course. I was missing every other one, practically clinging to him to stay upright.

Upon reaching the bottom, he continued leading me towards the front door, not stopping to kick it shut again. The sun was gentle at that hour, thankfully. I leaned heavily on Kyuhyun, letting my eyes rest for a while. “Thanks,” I mumbled.

“It’s only normal for a guy to take his date home.”

I didn’t dignify that with a response.

Kyuhyun chuckled to himself anyway, probably soaking up the fact that I was relying on him to just walk. “I never thought you would fall for me.” Hah. Funny. Because, you know, I’m stumbling and falling all over him.

“Stop with the jokes,” I growled, wincing, “my head hurts.”

“Of course it hurts. You were puking for half the night,” he snorted.

 

The concept of time was lost to me. I had no idea how long we were walking or where exactly we were going, but somehow, I was climbing the back steps of my house just as the sun was brightening into that familiar yellow.

Sighing, I turned around to shut my door, only to feel Kyuhyun’s lips brush against mine. My eyes flickered open and I caught his gaze. Winking, he waved. “Goodnight kiss?”

I frowned deeper, slamming the door. “Jerk,” I shook my head gingerly. “I need a bath.”

Dragging myself up the stairs, I peeked inside my father’s room on the way to the bathroom. He wasn’t in bed. It must have been a long night at the office again. Sometimes he didn’t come home for days: nothing new.

Yawning, I shuffled into the washroom, closing the door and stripping off my shirt. Tossing it into the laundry basket, I leaned over the tub, turning on the water. Out of habit, I checked my pockets, mentally cursing when I found that my phone wasn’t there. Kyuhyun probably took it as a prank. Last time, he had taken my house keys and promised to only give them back if I treated him to a fancy dinner. I still haven’t made back all of the money from that time.

“I’ll get it back later,” I sighed, kicking off my pants and freezing when I heard a rustling noise. Did I forget money in my back pocket again? Reaching into the pouch, I fished out a folded piece of paper.

Carefully, I flipped it open, straining to comprehend simple words. There was an address printed in clean handwriting. Underneath that, there was a notice:

 

**I have your phone.**

**Come by at 5 P.M. today to pick it up.**

**\-- Choi Siwon**

“Who?” I set it down, frustrated and confused. “Fine.” Rolling my neck, I stepped under the hot shower of water, deciding that I would deal with that after some aspirin and a nap.

I didn’t know at the time just what I was getting into.

 

 

 


	8. Collapse

 

“Did I hear you right?”

Yesung nodded, toying with the pen in his hand. After dropping Ryeowook off, I had been called to the usual place, only knowing that Yesung had something important to talk about. I couldn’t think of what they could want out of the blue, but I wasn’t about to turn them down. How could anyone be so stupid? Scratch that, there were plenty of people who could be that stupid.

“Would I joke about this?” Yesung trained me with a look.

“Well, it doesn’t make sense,” I leaned back against the bookcase, grabbing a novel at random just to keep my hands busy. If I met his gaze for too long, I wouldn’t be able to think clearly about the situation. “Why are you and Siwon packing up?”

“We’ve been here for too long,” he responded, the scratching of pen on paper following, “Neither of us is interested in this game anymore.”

“What? The slums aren’t a good enough playground these days?” I idly flipped a page, feeling queasier by the second. With them gone, I wouldn’t have anything fun to occupy my time anymore.

Yesung laughed deep in his throat. “You could say that. A more accurate statement would be that Siwon found a more interesting activity. We’re leaving in two months.”

The sick feeling subsided a bit. Two months was a fair amount of time. I could deal with that. Closing the book, I walked over, taking the seat on the other side of Yesung’s desk. “I’m guessing when you leave, that’ll be the last time I see you guys?”

His mouth twitched up in a brief smile, but his eyes never left the papers he was filling out. “As far as I know, we don’t have any plans to take you along.”

If they did have plans, then I would have to start thinking of a way out. Like I said before, they weren’t lowly criminals or vandals. Yesung and Siwon had power and wealth and too much free time. They were running the country like puppet masters and reaping the rewards for their hired business – whatever that was.

“Then why am I here?” I prompted.

“You’ve been interesting since this project started,” he answered plainly. “We thought it would be right to inform you about our intentions before anyone else.”

“I’m touched,” I blanched.

Yesung just smiled again.

Standing up, I pushed the chair back, stuffing my hands in my pockets. “So, is this new game more interesting than me?”

“Maybe,” he answered mildly, “it’s still in the works.”

“Well,” cracking my neck, I turned towards the door, “tell me if you throw anymore parties before the big move, but I’m assuming you’ll be too busy with business for the next two months.” Closing my hand around the knob, I twisted and pulled. “See you around.”

“Bye, Kyuhyun,” Yesung said softly.

I shut the door behind me.

 

***

 

Slipping the phone back into my pocket, I sauntered down the street, headed for Mir’s place. I had a feeling if I went to bother Ryeowook, he might just try and assault me in the worst way. Hangovers could make people crazy.

See, in my mind, I was a little pissed. My entertainment was going away. How else should I react? All I wanted was something that could make me feel better and at that moment, the best option was Mir. As far as I could tell on the phone, he would need a little convincing about my feelings for him again. I couldn’t blame him; after all, I did practically feed him to the wolves last night. Whatever though, he found a way home.

Cutting through the public park, I found his residential district, counting off houses until I reached his. It was a plain structure with a few windows along the back and a well-trimmed garden. What else could I expect from a middle-class, suburban kid? The only reason he went to a below-average school was because he was too stupid to get in anywhere else.

I swiped the spare key from the broken patio light casing, and let myself in. On the phone, he had told me that no one was home which was just a modest way of saying “You can come over and fuck my brains out” and I certainly intended to do that.

His bedroom was on the second floor, last door on the right. I didn’t bother to knock, turning the handle and once again letting myself in. Mir looked up from his phone, not incredibly surprised to see me. I did give him fair warning. “You’re here,” he said softly, sitting up.

I shouldered the door closed, tugged my sweatshirt off, and walked over to him. “I told you I was coming,” I shrugged, tangling my fingers into his hair. “I’m horny as fuck. Blow me.”

You would think that people had more pride, but they really didn’t. He wanted me to control him. The secret desire to be bossed around and abused lit his eyes and I just knew that I had picked the right idiot to use. He had a skewed vision of the world where I was changing for him. If I wasn’t passing the time by letting him think those things, I would’ve ended it much sooner – so soon that he wouldn’t have been able to even form the silly notion.

 

We fucked for a while, his voice growing scratchier the longer we were at it. I wasn’t focused on much though. The only thing running through my mind was the decreasing irritation. Distractions were the best way for me to calm down, personally. Although I’m confident and probably arrogant too, this isn’t to boost my ego; I’m honest to the fucking heavens too brilliant for my own good.

People always complain about how geniuses have it easy. Think again. Imagine, just _imagine_ , what it feels like to absorb every little thing anyone has ever said to you – good or bad. Consider what life would be like if you never had to try and because of that, you could never find common ground with other people’s struggles. It’s not that great, and the only way to feel even slightly like a normal person is to self-destruct. I’ve tried a shit ton of things, most of them less than legal, but those have been the only times where I’ve felt on even ground with anyone, really.

Call me whatever the hell you want. I can’t change what I am.

“Kyuhyun?”

I sat back, feeling my breaths coming quick and fast. “What?” I focused my attention back on the naked body underneath me.

“Are you okay?” Mir reached up and wrapped his arms around my neck.

Flopping down beside him, I dropped my arm across his waist. Let’s have some fun. “No…I don’t think so,” I murmured.

“What happened?” There was so much concern in his voice. I almost felt like we could connect, but oh wait, I was just making it up – whatever it was that I planned on saying.

“My mom came to visit. I walked out of the house before she could really get to me.” I faked a sad smile, pushing the hair away from his heartbroken face. What a fool. He was soaking up every word like they were holy truths. I almost felt bad. “Then I came over here. Just seeing her pissed me off so much.”

“Oh my god, I’m sorry Kyuhyun,” Mir’s lips quivered and he caressed my cheek. “It’s not fair that you have to have parents like that. It’s not fair at all.”

“Yeah, I know,” I laughed sharply. “At least my old man didn’t come by. He’s worse than her.”

“I bet,” he nodded understandingly; “he treated you so badly.” Mir ran his fingers through my hair, pulling forward to kiss me. “Don’t worry, Kyuhyun. I’m here for you. I’ll trust you and take care of you.”

I had never heard so much bullshit in one spiel.

 “Thank you,” I whispered, “No one has ever said that to me.”

“I’ll say it as many times are you want,” he promised.

What a liar – a shallow, fucking liar.

Rolling on top of him, I locked our lips again. “Still up for more?” I mumbled against his mouth.

He nodded a little and all I could do was grin.

 


	9. Justice

 

Turning down the stove, I scribbled a note for my father and left it on the counter. If he came home for dinner, it was prepared for him, and if he didn’t, well, there was enough for me and that’s all that mattered.

Swallowing the remainder of my coffee, I rinsed the empty mug in the sink and snatched my keys on the way out.

My watch read: 4:30 P.M.

It would take about twenty minutes to get into the city by bus, and then it was a five to ten minute walk to the designated skyscraper. I still had no idea why the meeting place was in a high end building. How had someone from upper-class society ended up with my phone? Was that what rich people did on their nights off – hit up parties in the poor districts?

I flashed my student pass to the bus driver as I boarded. He just grunted. Finding a seat, I settled down, dropping my head. The day had started out terrible and so far, it was still terrible and descending into deeper shit.

Who was Choi Siwon? I had searched his name, but there were too many all over the internet. Even when in relation to the address, I found nothing on this man who had written that note.

Furthermore, I was hoping that Kyuhyun would drop by at some point to bug me, but he never showed up. In a way, he had done what I always hoped he would do – mind his own business. But on the other hand, I knew that he would definitely have an idea of who that Siwon person was. After all, a normal person wouldn’t have pick-pocketed me only to leave a ransom note.

 

The walk to the building was much shorter than I originally though. There was little people traffic, oddly enough. It appeared that city folk stayed late or maybe I was just occupying a district that wasn’t incredibly busy. Perhaps it was a generalization to think that every single square inch of a city was going to be cramped.

There were well-dressed men and women leaving the skyscraper, their fingers a flurry of movement across the touch pads of their phones. I weaved my way between them, a little scared to bump one of them and get verbally attacked.

Once inside, I passed the front desk, headed straight for the stairwell before anyone could ask me what I was up to. There was no way I wanted to explain myself to someone. It had never been a strong suit of mine: confrontation, that is. Most of the time, I avoided it at all costs because it’s clear that living quietly and in the shadows is much easier.

“Suite B…,” I muttered, slowing down in front of a glass door. Carefully, I curled my hand around the metal handle, pushing it in.

There was a secretary desk, but no one was there. My heart jumped, but I ignored it, continuing on to the second door. This one was distorted glass, obscuring the room beyond. I knocked a few times and waited.

“Come in,” a deep voice answered after a minute or so.

Automatically, I pushed the door open, peeking inside uncertainly. There were windows from floor to ceiling, and sunset streaming through them. “Hello?” My eyes rested on a tall, caramel haired man sitting at his desk. His suit was well-fitting and his features were handsome and clean, as expected of an executive or some other official. “Are you the one who wrote this note?” I pulled out the paper, starting to really doubt myself now.

However, he didn’t dismiss me. Instead, he waved me in, smiling. Sluggishly, I shifted fully into the room but hung back. He stood up from the desk, approaching me with an extended hand. “My name is Choi Siwon and yes, I am the one who wrote that note.”

Out of habit, I shook his hand. “Uhm, sir, why did you take my phone? I’m really confused on what’s going on in general, actually.”

He slipped his hands into pockets. “Please, have a seat. We should talk comfortably.”

It wasn’t much of a suggestion. Stiffly, I marched over to the visitor’s couch, taking the offered seat. There were some snacks and tea on the table, but I had learned my lesson the night before: don’t take food or drinks from anyone.

Siwon settled down across from me and placed my phone on the table surface as he reached out to pour himself a cup of tea. “I rent that space in the slums. It’s a passing enjoyment of mine,” he began to explain, “and last night at a certain party, I came across a sleeping boy.”

Heat crept up the back of my neck, but all he did was chuckle and continue talking. “Not just any sleeping boy though, I came across the son of Cho Kyuhyun’s parole officer. You could say that I was intrigued. I’ve heard plenty of stories about you running around watching out for Kyuhyun, but I never expected you to get so involved with him – to the point where you would be going to parties in such a dangerous area.”

I should’ve known it was directly related to that troublemaker. “Look, if there’s something that Kyuhyun owes you, I don’t know anything about it. I haven’t—”

“—that’s not what I was going to say,” Siwon interrupted, smiling. “No, rather, I’m interested in what sort of person you are. It’s clear that you’re not scared of Kyuhyun, but it’s also apparent that you don’t approve of what he does.” The man leaned forward on his elbows, head tilting slightly. “And so I asked myself, ‘What is this boy, Kim Ryeowook, really like? What does he think about the world I’ve created for Cho Kyuhyun?’ And now that you’re here, maybe you can answer me.”

I took a sip of the tea without thinking. All I needed was something to wet my throat. When had I gotten a cup of tea anyway? Then again, maybe it wasn’t the time to think about that. “I think of it like anyone else would. It’s illegal and dangerous,” I answered calmly.

“I don’t think that’s it,” he retorted coolly.

My fingers curled into my pants. “Sir, I don’t know what you want from me.”

“Here, let’s break it down,” he offered, “Tell me, do you believe in justice?”

“Justice?”

“Yes, like law enforcers and the self-imposed values.”

I shrugged in the tiniest way. “I’m the son of an officer, of course I believe in law enforcers.”

“Are you sure about that?”

My chest squeezed. “What?”

Siwon took a sip of his drink. “Are you sure that you really feel that way? So far, your only defense has been that you were raised by a police officer. That doesn’t tell me much.”

“My view on justice is average,” I snapped. “Can I go now?” I reached for my phone, but his words stopped me.

“If your view is average, why are you getting so defensive?”

Our eyes met and then my hand was curling back of its own accord. Siwon broke a cookie, taking a bite out of one half. I stared at him for a long moment, wondering if he was going to tell me off again. It didn’t happen.

“If I tell you, can I go home?” I blurted.

Siwon nodded faintly.

Taking a deep breath, I snatched my phone and stood up. “I don’t believe justice exists.”

“Then does that mean you don’t believe in public enforcers?”

“I think they’re doing what they can. That’s more than anyone else.” I grabbed the door handle, letting myself out, but not before hearing his promise.

“I’ll be seeing you soon, Ryeowook.”

 


	10. Silence

 

I didn’t really know how to stay away.

That was why I set up camp on Ryeowook’s back steps. The sun had dropped a while ago and the only flicker of light came from lightning bugs and the random lamp fixtures shining from his neighbors.

Sometime around seven in the evening, Ryeowook rounded the side of the house. I stood up, watching him come towards me. “Out and about this late? Do you have a life that I don’t know about?” I raised an eyebrow, studying him as he unlocked the door, letting us in. He wasn’t answering me, so I sat down at the kitchen table, waiting patiently for him to say something.

Once the stove was on and dinner was apparently reheating, he turned around to look at me. No matter how cute I thought he was all the time, I couldn’t deny the stony fury on his face at that moment. “Choi Siwon.”

“Where did you hear that?” I answered without missing a beat.

Ryeowook pulled his phone out, “He took it from me. I met him today to get it back.” He paused, lips parting and coming together again hesitantly. “…He said some weird things and asked me about—”

“—don’t meet him again,” I cut in. “He’s fucking in the big leagues. Getting involved in his world is a death sentence.”

“I’m not stupid,” Ryeowook spat. I blinked in surprise. That was the first time I had seen him snap back at me. He shut his eyes as if regaining composure and then said, “I know that he’s a criminal.”

“…What did he say to you?” I shifted topics. I had been with Ryeowook for two and a half years already. It was easy to tell when he was disturbed because it happened so infrequently. What could Siwon have said to get under his skin like that?

Ryeowook whirled on his heel, picking up a ladle and stirring the stew again. I came up behind him, placing my hands on either side of the counter. “What did Siwon say to you?” I repeated, eyeing him seriously.

“He…,” Ryeowook tilted his head back to look at me, “just asked me to answer some questions about law enforcement. I didn’t know what to say.”

“That’s it?” I pressed.

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” I nodded slowly, letting my arms drift away from the counter to wind around his slender abdomen. I tugged him a bit back, unsure why I was craving intimacy. Being with Mir had absolved me of boredom, but being with Ryeowook was something entirely different. He made me think things and desire things no one else knew how to reach. It wasn’t love. It was attraction in the most sincere sense of the word.

Sadly, it was one-sided.

Ryeowook didn’t pull away nor did he relax in my arms. Somehow, he made it feel like I wasn’t even there.

Silently, I released him as bowls of food were served. We sat down across from each other and I didn’t ask because I knew what he was thinking. No matter how many times it happened, Ryeowook disliked his father working so much. I learned that a while back when I came by uninvited and he did the same thing he was doing this night – keeping me around with silent wishes.

He loathed company and yet he didn’t know how to live without it. At these times, it wasn’t small talk that filled the void; it was the clanking of spoons and random creaks and groans of the house and night.

I wouldn’t call what we did social or even friendly. Mutual need was a better description. Ryeowook couldn’t admit it and neither could I, but both of us clearly understood that sometimes physical companionship was important. That didn’t mean I tried to feel him up every second, instead we just sort of stayed in each other’s company.

Saddest thing was, this had to be the closest either of us had ever gotten to friendship with anyone.

He refused to befriend people in school – I mean, why would he?

People refused to befriend me in school – again, why would they?

Along the way to growing up, we had managed to stay alone together. We’re just a pair of screwed up losers and everyone knows it.

I kept hold of Ryeowook’s hand as we headed upstairs. His backside was so thin and smooth, I wanted to touch it. That was the extent, though. If I did anything to break the moment, he would be kicking me back down the stairs.

Once inside his room, he kicked off his socks, and swiftly changed in pajamas. I only caught glimpses of bare skin, before he was done and climbing onto the other side of the bed. He grabbed the television remote, powering on the monitor and flipping channels until we reached some cheesy drama.

I propped the pillow up behind us and pulled him into my arms. Ryeowook let his head drop against my shoulder, mainly because I was practically cradling him. My lips hovered over his head, brushing over the soft locks.

He didn’t say anything, only pulling the blankets over us. I wrapped my free arm around his waist, closing the leftover distance between us. “This show is stupid as fuck,” I muttered.

Ryeowook nodded a little. “The girl is annoying.”

“The girl is always annoying,” I rolled my eyes, absently running my thumb over his hip.

“…What do you think of justice?” he suddenly asked.

I frowned, tucking his head under my chin as I thought. “It’s as annoying as that girl.”

“So you think it exists?”

“Yeah, otherwise I wouldn’t have a parole officer.”

No reply came and I stupidly assumed it was because he didn’t have anything to say.

 


	11. Doors

I had never questioned myself on matters of morals before. In the past, it seemed normal to me that the thoughts I had were common. Justice didn’t exist. Right and wrong were just words. What did exist was a higher power that controlled our actions. Whether or not they were in the right was never a concern of mine. Society operated by their rules, so I played along thinking that everyone was just pretending like me.

But then the bluntest person I know said “Yeah, otherwise I wouldn’t have a parole officer” in relation to my question about justice.

Cho Kyuhyun was the greatest rebel to our society and even he believed in the natural alignment that society had set. I couldn’t understand what was going on. If anyone could ease me, it was supposed to be him.

Of all the people in the world, how could he not question the system?

If justice really existed, Kyuhyun wouldn’t be on parole; he would already be under lock and key as a menace to the greater good. If justice was the core enforcer in society, why were so-called criminals roaming around freely, and why could money solve every problem?

I never understood and I thought I wasn’t alone in thinking these things.

The television clicked off. Kyuhyun must have done that. How long had I been pretending to sleep already? He slid further under the covers, his body pressing forward to hold me close. I relaxed in the warmth, calming down as I breathed in his familiar scent. Kyuhyun at these times wasn’t the delinquent who treated the world like a personal garbage dump. The one that stayed beside me when I needed it most was Kyuhyun the friend.

I hated to admit it, but sometimes we crossed a strange line. We had never been enemies or friends. Over the years, a game had come about where we tested the shallow borders of the invisible line. Depending on what suited us best in the certain situation, we could be enemies or companions.

Sometimes, when we crossed over to companion territory, we inched a little closer to lovers, I admit.

Like at times when I wanted him around and we fell asleep together – those were more lover-like qualities than best friends. I wouldn’t deny liking it, though. He was capable and smart and when he was holding onto me as if letting go wasn’t an option, how could I not feel safe?

His breathing grew even and that was when I knew he had fallen fast asleep. I wondered sometimes how he slept when I wasn’t around. Did he get enough rest? Or was he so cranky because he couldn’t sleep?

I rested a hand on the dip of his waist, keeping my other hand pressed against his chest.

He drove me crazy, but he never let me get absorbed by the crazy. For that singular fact, I was thankful.

 

When morning came, the hangover was gone and so was Kyuhyun. Stretching out, I checked the clock, seeing the time displayed as eleven. Had I really slept nearly to noon? “Crap,” I muttered into the pillow, pushing my body up reluctantly and dragging myself out of bed.

It took ten minutes to finish my morning routine and then I was heading downstairs. Strangely enough, my father still wasn’t home. Normally, there was some trace of him, whether that was a used coffee pot or a plate in the sink, however, I found nothing. He hadn’t been home in two days already.

Scratch that, I did have something. It was a note, folded and scratched across lying on the counter. I unfolded it, scanning the lines:

 

_I won’t be home for the rest of the week – out of town business to take care of. If Kyuhyun gets into trouble or if you need something, call the local police department. –Dad_

Well, that was an explanation, at least.

Fishing my phone out of pocket, I flipped it open to find a new voice mail. There were only a few people in the world who knew my number, and none of them should’ve needed me already. Although it was late, it wasn’t so late that voice mails and phone calls were necessary. It was an age of text messages and picture mail.

I followed the voice mail box’s instructions, holding the phone up to my ear as the recording started to play.

 _“_ First unheard message: _Hello, Ryeowook.”_ I felt my muscles tighten. _“This is Choi Siwon. Call me anytime you want to finish our conversation. I’ll be waiting._ End of message _.”_

It was only natural that I should delete the message. I just wondered why I didn’t.

 

***

 

Days and then weeks went by without much noise. School was coming to an end and everyone seemed to be a lot more bothered by it than I would’ve thought. For one, all of Mir’s little friends were running around getting phone numbers, making summer vacation plans, and taking pictures at every opportunity. Not to mention, Kyuhyun had begun a new game of his own. It had nothing to do with me, instead focusing on Mir.

They were dating, or that’s what everyone believed.

Kyuhyun dismissed any claims to that whenever he stopped by. It was, as he called it, “Something to pass the time.” As long as he was interested in playing the good boy, then I had no qualms – it was less work for me.

If ever I thought Kyuhyun was really starting to fall for Mir, those ideas would soon vanish when we were one on one and I found him to be the same party-hard delinquent I had known for years. Just now, he kept it a secret, which I think was what made him so fascinated with make-believe-dating. Kyuhyun had posed himself a challenge and joyously reaped the satisfaction of knowing that he could play someone else so well. It wasn’t even close to admirable, but it was undeniably impressive.

“Listen up, everyone,” the teacher called out. We organized ourselves and looked up at him. There was a boy standing beside him and I knew right away that it had to be a new student – what else? “I know you’re all going to be graduating in just a short month and a half, but make sure you welcome this brief new classmate of yours. He’ll be here until the end, so we’ll let him introduce himself.”

The boy was ushered in front of the teacher. His features were clean and attractive, hair dark as it lay over his forehead. From what I could tell, he was rather tall – taller than Kyuhyun – with slightly wider shoulders. He smiled at us, introducing himself as, “I’m Changmin. Sorry for barging into your class last minute. My dad works for the government, so we move around a lot. Let’s get along for the next month or so.”

And then some stupid kid had to go and yell out, “Hey! Ryeowook’s dad works for the government too. I bet you sticklers would get along great!” It had to be one of Kyuhyun’s friends. They were always making a ruckus, but without Kyuhyun to lead them, they had simmered down quite a bit – enough that I could ignore their existence.

Changmin looked around the room curiously eyes bright. “Oh? Who’s Ryeowook?”

“Over there.” I hated that kid.

Our eyes locked from across the room and for the first few moments, he seemed friendly enough, but then he frowned as if I had offended him somehow. He turned his head away just as the teacher called off the bustling voices and movement.

A crumpled paper ball flew at me, landing on the surface of my desk. Peering up, I saw Kyuhyun nodding towards the crudely wrapped message. Biting my lip, I unfolded it.

 

_You know that guy?_

 

Taking out a pen, I scribbled a reply:

 

_No_

 

 I chucked it back at him. In his obnoxiously smooth way, he caught it, unwrapping it without delay. A smirk played across his lips and then he tossed the notes into the trashcan behind him. I watched as his head lifted up to see Changmin hovering over him.

Kyuhyun glanced at the empty seat in front of him, proceeding to hook his foot under the chair and swiftly knock it over. “Sorry bro, find another seat,” he shrugged casually.

“I want this seat,” Changmin kicked the chair back up, sitting down in one fluid motion. He dropped his elbow on the edge of Kyuhyun’s desk leaning forward into the latter’s personal space. “You don’t have a problem with that, right?”

In that moment, I could already see an infinite amount of interest in my ward’s face. Kyuhyun was enjoying the disruption much more than he should’ve, then again, knowing him, this was about right.

On the other side of the room, I caught sight of Mir’s confused and soon to be insecure expression. Well, the insecurity would go away soon. If there was something new to entertain Kyuhyun, he didn’t need an annoyance tying him down.

When I turned back around to look at Kyuhyun, my eyes locked onto Changmin who was watching me like I was a convicted criminal. I swore I didn’t know him, yet for some reason, he gave me the most disapproving glower anyone could give. He averted his gaze moments after I saw him staring, but that was hardly the end of it.

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Potential

 

I could see Changmin fitting in really well. So well, in fact, that I decided to end things with Mir because let’s face it, he was getting too clingy. Damn, I swore that I couldn’t take a breath without him watching me do it.

There were a fucking shit ton of tears on his part, but I didn’t really see the end of them. I left. Mir should’ve known that I wasn’t serious – scratch that, I would’ve been pissed if he didn’t think I was serious. My whole purpose of dating him was to test the waters of my acting abilities. Apparently, I was better than I ever thought, or maybe I had chosen too gullible of a person.

As I was saying though, Changmin’s appearance threw a wrench into the whole good-guy persona I had been trying out. He could be fun, almost as much fun as Ryeowook.

Kicking off from the swing, I let myself fly back and forth lazily. The sun was setting behind me, drawing long shadows across the mostly empty park. There were some kids here and there, but it seemed like the darkness shooed off the younger ones. I yawned, dropping my head back. Warmth spread across my face for the briefest of moments before I was swinging back into the shade.

“Enjoying yourself?”

I pulled forward, squinting at the figure approaching me. Changmin was grinning and I couldn’t stop myself from returning it. Lord, I loved that guy. He had the makings of a real mess, you know, if he wasn’t so straight-laced. “Sure as fuck,” I drawled, digging my heels into the woodchips to slow down.

He took the swing next to me. “That’s a lot of assurance,” he remarked.

“Why should I be anything less?”

“I checked out your background the other day,” Changmin looked at me, but I didn’t expect him to still be smiling.

Cocking an eyebrow, I wrapped my arms around the swing chains, leaning forward. “And you still came to hang out, stiff?”

He shrugged nonchalantly, leaning back and kicking. “You’re not a wanted criminal, Kyuhyun,” he snorted, “you haven’t done shit since your parole hearing a year ago.”

“I’m just good at evading the cops,” I smirked, “don’t belittle me.”

“How much could you have possibly done without getting caught?” he mused.

I took the bait. “Plenty, but most of it was under the supervision of my guard dog.”

Changmin’s brow furrowed. “Guard dog?”

“Ryeowook,” I stated, “he’s the son of my parole officer.” I paused, adding, “And he’s fucking adorable, just so you know.”

When I checked his face for some sort of amusement, I didn’t find any. Surprised, it took me a second to remember that Changmin hadn’t exactly been welcoming to Ryeowook. More than that, I still had no idea why. “Hey, I forgot to ask, what’s your deal with him? He’s not exactly a threat to anyone,” I stared at him, waiting.

Changmin sighed, eyes guarded. “I just hate people like him.”

“Like him?” I laughed, “What do you mean? Cute, quiet, goodie-two-shoes—”

 “— _acts_ like a goodie-two-shoes,” he interrupted irritably, “He’s such a fake. I could tell from the moment I first saw him.”

“What? You got a sixth sense for evil or something?” Maybe I was a little offended for Ryeowook – just a little though. After all, Changmin was spouting some serious stuff about someone I thought about quite a bit. Whether or not I cared about Ryeowook, he was a part of my life and insulting him was insulting my choices.

Stopping the idle swinging, Changmin set his gaze on me. “Something like that. I’ve been trained by my father since I could crawl. I know when someone’s bad news and Ryeowook is.”

“You sure you’re not getting mixed signals, because I’m pretty positive that if he’s bad news, I’m Satan.”

He cracked a small smile, but it disappeared quickly. “I see people like you all the time,” Changmin stopped himself there, coughing and saying, “Not like you specifically. I’ve never met someone as strange as you, Cho Kyuhyun,” he shook his head as if in disbelief, “anyway, what I mean is that there’s a system and there are also levels of criminals.”

Lifting his hand up, Changmin raised a finger, “I won’t go into detail, but I will tell you about the three types of criminals. There’s the ‘Rebel’ who has their illegal adventures during adolescence, but despite the shit they get into, they grow up and move on.” He nodded his chin at me, “That’s what you are. You’re too smart to fall into high stakes crime – anyone can see that. What you like to do is play power games and show-off your ability to win in any situation. The crazier the game, the more fun you have. Am I right?”

“And if I said you were wrong?”

Changmin smiled. “But I know I’m not.”

He wasn’t. I hated that he wasn’t wrong. Despite all my conquests, I had never gone too deep. It wasn’t a permanent settlement and when he put that label on me, I could actually see myself fitting in piece by piece. Power games were my hobby. Anything would do, just give me a chance to rule and I would take it, so long as I always had an escape route.

If that’s where I fit in though, what did he think of Ryeowook? As much as I disliked the idea of Changmin being right about his gut feeling, he had defined me as if it was child’s play. We had known each other for maybe a week – how could he know that much? A background search wouldn’t be able to accomplish anything that psychologically in-depth.

“What’s the next one?” I asked, shifting my eyes away.

“There’s the ‘Dealers’ who are big-time criminals controlling all matter of assets. They come in all different shapes and sizes. Furthermore, they emerge from every walk of life and rise to the top through a pure desire for bettering their situation and a mislead notion about what success and living a fulfilling life means.”

_Siwon. Yesung._

Changmin took a breath, going on, “Then the final type is the ‘Potential’. These people are predecessors to Dealers. They have an opposing view about how things should be run, which eventually leads to that mislead notion of what a fulfilling life means. Ryeowook,” my eyes naturally flitted at the name and when I saw Changmin, I was stuck, “is definitely Potential, whether you think so or not. I can see it when I look at him.”

“But—”

“—what you told me earlier solidified my instincts about him,” he interrupted.

I didn’t say anything this time, too curious about what he would say next. A part of me thought it was pure crap, but the other part thought that there was a chance. My idea of corrupting Ryeowook was making him loosen up: maybe go a little crazy and get party-addicted, but never a full-fledged badass-mother-fucker.

Changmin took the silence for all that it was worth. “He’s empty in his gaze and his posture. Everything about him is cold – indifferent. For someone that should’ve been bred with laws, order, and morals, you can’t see anything of the sort in his eyes.”

“Ryeowook isn’t emotional. It’s just how he is.” Why was I defending him so much?

“Kyuhyun,” he closed his eyes patiently, “there’s a difference between being unemotional and being vacant. Someone who’s unemotional just has an objective view on feelings and can therefore manipulate their reactions. Someone who’s vacant doesn’t care about feelings or actions.” Changmin leaned back in the swing. “That’s what I meant earlier. He has so much potential that he can’t even see it himself and I’ll admit to that innocence. But…you were wrong earlier. Kim Ryeowook wasn’t being played by you, as much as you want to believe so. He supervised you as instructed, probably, but he never stopped you. He lets you do whatever you want because he doesn’t have any sense of right and wrong. Or more likely, he’s struggling with concepts of right and wrong.”

“You know what; scratch what I said earlier about hating people like him.” Changmin shook his head, “I’m afraid of people like him. He doesn’t care about anything from the bottom of his heart. It’s not a kid with abandonment issues. He honestly lacks the ability to be concerned about another thing.”

“You’re saying a lot of stuff about someone you don’t even know,” I said, unable to think of anything else to say.

Changmin simply shrugged. “I don’t know criminals personally either. That doesn’t make my profiling skills any less accurate.”

“If you’re so certain about Ryeowook’s potential, then why don’t you stop it, Mr. Justice?” I watched surprise flicker across his features. “Make sure he doesn’t become a Dealer. That should’ve been your reaction instead of hating him, I would think.”

A smirk faintly touched his lips. “You don’t want to lose him, do you?” Changmin didn’t let an awkward silence rise, saying, “Fine, I’ll play along.”

Bastard.

 


	13. End Game

 

“Ryeowook?”

I walked past him.

A desperate hand coiled around my wrist, pulling me to a halt. Stumbling back, I turned my head, sighing when I saw Mir crying. “What?”

“Can you please talk to Kyuhyun?” he asked hastily, eyes swollen, “He won’t talk to me or answer my calls and texts. You’re the only person I can rely on.”

It was like a cheesy movie. I had seen it happen time and time again on the big screen. Never in my life did I think I would be a part of that horrible plot. “I can’t help you,” I stated, attempting to get away from him.

The grip on my arm just tightened and I winced. Mir didn’t care though; all that was reflected in his eyes was self-pity and pathetic infatuation. He didn’t love Kyuhyun and I wished whole-heartedly that he would realize that so I wouldn’t be stuck in the current situation. “ _Please_ Ryeowook…no one will help me and I’m out of ideas. If he won’t even talk to me, I…I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he sobbed.

Sighing, I ripped away from his grasp, staggering a bit. “It’s not my problem to fix,” I shrugged my backpack higher up my shoulder. He whimpered something but I was already walking up the steps to my house and slamming the door shut.

“What was that about?”

I kicked my shoes off, looking up to find my father sitting at the kitchen table. He was dressed in a crisp suit and his face was clean shaven. “Nothing,” I shook my head, “why aren’t you wearing your uniform?”

“I’m going out of town,” he answered, drinking his coffee calmly, “for two weeks…maybe three weeks. There’s a promotion ceremony or something and then a conference. I’ll probably be back for your graduation,” he offered lightly, “if not, make sure Kyuhyun doesn’t do anything to ruin the event.”

At those times, I recalled why I disliked Kyuhyun. Everyone cared about him one way or another, including me. There was a magnetic attraction about him that could draw in anyone and repel anyone as he pleased. If there was a way to escape the madness surrounding Kyuhyun, I would do it in a heartbeat. These were the times when I didn’t think of him as a friend and comfort. These were the times where I loathed him with all my might for controlling his life and the lives of others without a thought.

“Have a safe trip,” I mumbled, leaving the kitchen.

“Wait.”

I looked over my shoulder, just in time to dodge a heavy, sleek object. It crashed into the floor, skidding down the hall. Going after it, I picked it up carefully, running my thumb across the surface.

“It’s a pocket knife,” my father grunted. He was leaning against the entryway to the kitchen, “an early graduation present since I might not be there.”

That little token of affection was the only one he had ever given me. “Got it,” I nodded softly, closing my fingers around the smooth exterior, “Thanks.”

“Don’t hurt yourself with it,” he yawned, twisting around and heading back to the kitchen.

 

You would think that I spent the next few hours toying with the knife, but I didn’t. There wasn’t much about it that appealed to me. Sure, I had been happy to get the present, but weapons didn’t click with me. At least, I felt like they didn’t.

I’m not sure when my father left, but by the time I went downstairs again, the kitchen was dark and a sliver of light was just disappearing behind the trees. Flicking on the lamp, I sat down in the living room and stretched out on the couch. There were cars rolling by that I could see through the window and younger kids playing night games. Lightning bugs flashed every once in a while, but I wasn’t particularly looking at them. In fact, I wasn’t sure of anything that came into my line of vision.

Eyelids grew heavy and just as everything was about to fade out, three sharp knocks at the door jolted me awake.

Sitting up, I cracked my neck and walked over to the back door, already knowing who it was before answering it. The door creaked open and I found Kyuhyun…and Changmin. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Your old man told me that he’s out of town for a while,” Kyuhyun smirked, “I figured I would come and keep you company.”

“Don’t need it,” I tried to close the door, but he shoved it back open and invited himself in.

“Sure you do!” He found a seat at the kitchen table. “I brought some cards, we can order food, and make a night out of it. What do you think?” Kyuhyun was already shuffling the deck of cards though.

Seeing as there was no way to argue, I stepped aside for Changmin and closed the door once everyone was inside. Picking up the phone, I dialed a nearby Chinese take-out place. From the corner of my eye, I could see Changmin alternating between throwing me sidelong glares and flirting with Kyuhyun.

Didn’t I say so before? Everyone loved Kyuhyun and everyone hated Kyuhyun. It was impossible to just be indifferent towards him.

“Order dumplings, too!” Kyuhyun remarked, standing up and sidling up behind me. Normally, I would be okay with the touchiness, but not when there was someone in the room who very obviously disapproved of my presence.

“Stop,” I pushed him away, but he either didn’t feel it or ignored it. “Kyuhyun,” I whispered urgently when he kept mumbling orders into my ear.

“Just do what I say,” he tightened his arms around my waist.

Sighing. I avoided looking at Changmin and told the take-out restaurant whatever Kyuhyun wanted. I gave him a curious look when he chose an octopus dish, but he simply grinned. “Okay, fifteen minutes?” I nodded absently, “Thanks see you then.”

“Was that so hard?” Kyuhyun leaned his head on the shoulder that Changmin couldn’t see, brushing a soft kiss in the crook of my neck.

“Do you always let people touch you like that?”

I tilted my head, meeting those judgmental eyes. No matter how casual his voice was, I could see it in his gaze – the disdain…maybe even a little fear masked as annoyance. My father hadn’t been around the past few years, but he had taught me enough about reading situations and people. I bet his father had done the same to him.

“Kyuhyun does whatever he wants,” I shrugged, “I can’t stop him.”

“That’s a really strange attitude,” Changmin laughed, “you can stop him if it makes you feel really weird, you know. I’m sure he’s a big boy that can handle his feelings getting hurt.”

Jealousy?

Or did he just want to pick a fight?

“I guess I don’t care then,” I answered, struck with surprise when I saw a glint of satisfaction in those features. What could he be happy about? “It’s just touching.”

Kyuhyun pulled away then. “Let’s play poker,” he interrupted, sitting down at the table again and shuffling the deck.

“Sounds good,” Changmin grinned, angling his body away from me as I found my seat between them. “So did you guys decide on your future plans?” He wasn’t asking me directly, but by the tenseness of his posture, it had to be directed more so towards me than anyone else.

“A took a university exam for fun,” Kyuhyun yawned, dealing out the deck, “I haven’t responded to my admittance yet.”

“And you?” he glanced at me.

“Same as Kyuhyun, except it wasn’t just for fun,” I mumbled, organizing the cards in my hand. “How about you?” I set the playing cards back down, peering over at him.

Changmin’s mouth twitched, but other than that, he didn’t change that face. “Law enforcement,” he answered easily, “there’s nothing else I’ve ever wanted to do. I bet you understand.”

“I don’t idolize my father,” I responded.

“Growing up with someone who takes the law so seriously must have had some affect on you,” he persisted with a relaxed chuckle.

My fingers pressed faintly into the smooth backside of the cards. “I deal with Kyuhyun constantly. That must mean something.”

“Hey now,” Kyuhyun snapped, glaring at me.

“I’m not sorry,” I returned the look, “considering how much mayhem you cause.”

“You enjoy it, don’t you?” he smirked, “It’s not like you’ve ever stopped me.”

Something about the entire situation was starting to feel wrong. Kyuhyun was random, but he was also possessive. In front of other people, we were never truly on good terms, but then why would he suddenly let a random person in on our personal relationship?

More so, why did it seem like I was being grilled for information? Was it just because I hadn’t been around many people and now it felt weird to interact? Did people even interact like this?

Kyuhyun’s words finally registered. There was a slowly sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had always justified myself for never stopping his minor offenses. But…was there any point in that? If justice didn’t exist in my mind, then wasn’t trying to justify something even more hypocritical than it normal was?

“I…that’s true,” I conceded, “maybe.”

We played one round of poker before I had to leave to get the food. Nothing particularly interesting happened in that one game, except maybe my thoughts. It was as if I had a glass shattering epiphany about my own behavior. How could I be this way? Why didn’t I care about what Kyuhyun did? I should have cared even a little bit as a simple human being.

Where was my mold? Where was I supposed to fit myself when I couldn’t even trust my own mind?

“I’ll come with you,” Kyuhyun started getting up from the table but I stopped him, holding the door handle already.

“Don’t. I’ll be back soon,” I shook my head, locking the door behind me.

 


	14. Drop

 

Not even two blocks down the street, my phone was buzzing with a call. “What is it, Kyuhyun?” I answered without checking.

“Try again.”

My legs froze. My entire body was rigid, jerking like a broken record. “Why are you calling?” I demanded quietly, heart racing painfully, “I…I don’t want to finish that conversation.”

“Come pick up your friend. He’s scared, Ryeowook.”

And then the record fixed itself. My legs started moving, kicking, jogging…sprinting. The phone stayed pressed to my ear as I raced through the streets, hailing a cab the moment I could find one. I shouted the address of the warehouse we had gone to last time.

“Why is he there, Siwon?” I panted, drumming my fingers against knee.

He was silent for a mere moment. “Well, he says that he wanted to be where Kyuhyun had once been. A little pitiful, don’t you agree?”

“Is he safe?” I leaned my head back, controlling my breathing.

“A broken heart is his only wound,” Siwon mused.

I hung up.

 

Time passed much too slowly as I waited for the cab to pull up to the warehouse. Changmin had been right. I didn’t ever try to do the right thing. Maybe Mir ending up in this situation was a sign – a chance for me to redeem myself.

I didn’t want to be looked down at by someone like Changmin. He was wrong. I was wrong, too. As a person, I had the potential to stick my neck out for another human being or animal or any creature, really. So, I pushed myself forward into the dimly lit building.

It didn’t take that long for me to find Mir. Up a flight of stairs, down one of the halls, past a bathroom, and finally I reached the only closed door. Twisting the knob, I pressed in, taking slow step into the room.

Dead-eyed and slumped across a couch was Mir, his cheeks stained with tears and his skin uncomfortably pale in the lighting.

“You came so quickly.”

I met Siwon’s watchful gaze. “And now I’m leaving.” Grabbing Mir by the arm, I tried to pull him up.

_Click…_

The cold metal of a gun dug into the back of my neck. Slowly, I dropped the broken boy and lifted my hands up in surrender. “…What do you want?” I asked quietly, swallowing.

“I thought you would come to me soon enough. Perhaps I miscalculated your curiosity in the world,” Siwon stated. His accomplice placed a hand on my shoulder, directing my body towards the man speaking. Just like last time, he was handsome and finely dressed, though it looked out of place in the dingy setting. “I guess I’ve lost this round with you. To think, I would lose to the rebelliousness of a boy.”

“More importantly,” he cleared his throat, coming around to lean on the front of the desk he had previously been occupying, “I’ve been thinking about what you said last time we spoke.” Siwon smiled briefly, “You said that law enforcers are trying their best. Of all the wise words you expressed that day, this was the one statement I couldn’t fathom. How could someone as insightful as you, Ryeowook, not see where corruption truly lies?”

I didn’t answer, but I knew and he knew that the words were biting into the deepest recesses of my mind. Everything he said clicked like a puzzle, matching and rattling just the right things in my brain so it made sense. No, I didn’t think it was a manipulation, because I could understand what he was saying.

How could I have never doubted law enforcement?

Was it just because of my father?

“I grew up with an officer. I never thought about it,” I admitted, feeling the gun keeping me there let up. Relaxing my shoulders slightly, I stepped forward, wanting to get away from the armed person.

“I saw that you accepted your admittance to university,” Siwon remarked, “Do you like the school?”

“I don’t have a preference.”

He smiled, “Good.” Reaching behind him, he pulled out a manila envelope, handing it to me. “Open it.”

I never even considered disobeying the order. As for why, I still couldn’t tell you. Inside the envelope were a few documents. Even as I read them over, I barely understood what was going on. “What…is this?” I lifted my head.

Mir had fallen asleep or something like that because he was being carried out of the room by then. I was about to stop them, but my voice caught. Siwon brushed past me, saying a quiet, firm, “Come.”

We travelled back down the stairs, out the door and to a waiting car. Siwon stepped inside first and I followed him. It wasn’t so much a conscious act. My body felt numb and my mind was swimming. He knew things I wanted to know: couldn’t help but want to know. If Siwon could show me a world I understood, then maybe I wasn’t scared to trail after him.

“Where are we going?” I asked as the car rolled forward.

“Before that,” he said, “let’s talk about that envelope.” Siwon nodded his chin at the packet I hadn’t released yet.

“It’s a rejection letter,” I responded, “but, why?”

He laced his fingers together, propping elbows on knees as he tilted his head towards me. The flickering lights of streetlamps sent scorching oranges and deep yellows across his darkened features. “It’s proof of your – _our­ –_ belief. If justice existed, then how could money have paid the school off to take back their admissions decision?”

“You’ve stripped away my future to prove a point?” I clarified, setting the paper down.

Siwon closed his eyes, opening them again with a faint glimmer of amusement in those depths. “I’m stripping you of what little ignorance you still possess. Ryeowook, your future isn’t some school filled with carbon copies. I’ll give you a much more fitting life…if that’s what you wish.”

“Are you giving me an option?”

He nodded calmly. “I can make that rejection go away as quickly as I made it come.” The car jerked to a stop. Siwon dropped his arms, straightening his lapels. “But first, there’s something you should see.”

The door opened and I stepped out. On the opposite side, Siwon climbed out too. We had parked outside of a rather dark, plain building. There was a neon sign hovering over the side door which was apparently the front door. I stayed behind him, keeping a small distance. Siwon knocked once on the metal and almost immediately received a muffled response.

He gave a fake name, which led to the opening of the door.

“Will you tell me where we are now?” I prompted in just loud enough of a voice.

Siwon side glanced at me. “Look around and tell me what you see.”

Doing what he said, I looked around. What I saw was still confusing though. There were tables and couches, drinks, and sultry music. Lights were low with heavy perfume mixing with sweat. I covered my nose; trying to avoid the mingling smells that grew stronger the deeper we went. Soft voices caught my ears, but rather than words, they were moans and groans both rough and squeaky.

Another door opened ahead and I stumbled through it, breathing in circulating air. Siwon chuckled ahead of me, but I ignored it, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Whores…right?” I answered or rather, inquired.

“Correct,” he opened one final door and we emerged into a well lit, luxurious room. There was a bar at the back and a floor to ceiling viewing screen with accompanying leather couches. I let my eyes wander for a few moments before Siwon was flicking the screen on.

Thoroughly graphic images appeared one by one in a grid format, displaying different parts of the business. “Sit down,” he called.

I sank down trying to keep track of all that was going on beyond the walls of this room.

Siwon sat down beside me; the clinking ice of his drink sounding far away and much too close at the same time. “I didn’t come here to teach you about exploitation,” he murmured, pressing something that made the screen zoom in on one particular group of business men. Their conversation grew louder as the speakers were turned up.

“Who did you fuck tonight?” one guy slurred.

“You think I only pounded one whore?” another laughed, drink sloshing around unsteadily in the glass tumbler.

They all joined in.

“Hey, hey, we should put the cash they gave us together and get a whole bunch of them,” a new man offered excitedly, “C’mon, just think, our wives and girlfriends would never be down for an orgy. It’s our one chance.”

The last man in the group spoke then and my heart jumped to my throat. “Don’t be stupid. We got promoted; they’ll be sending us on a shitload of trips and we’ll be given even more spending money in the future. This won’t be our last orgy.”

“…He didn’t leave for his trip today, did he?” I sounded calmer than I expected. “How often?”

“A regular,” Siwon responded, “even before the promotion. He rented one of the girls out for a week last time.”

“When did he start coming?” I could hear the break in my voice.

“A few years ago.”

Adrenaline surged through my body and then I was collapsing against a trash can, puking what little food I had and a burning amount of stomach acid. Tears blinded me and tremors rocked every limb. A warm hand rested on my backside, rubbing soothing circles. I inhaled shakily, desperately trying to hold back sob after sob.

_I hate myself._

_I hate him._

_I hate._

_I hate._

_I can’t help but hate._

_Don’t save me._

_Don’t come near me._

Wiping my quivering lips, I stood up, tearing the knife out of my pocket. It was such a short-lived present. Flicking it open, I strode back over to the screen where his blurry face was chortling like the fucking dickhead he was.

The blade drove into the monitor, black cracks bursting out from the image of his head. “I’m done,” I whispered inaudibly, releasing the handle. “No more.”

“Is that your answer?”

“Teach me how to change my world.”

 

 


	15. Into Midnight

 

“Sorry I’m late.”

I tossed the giraffe stuffed animal aside, frowning at Ryeowook. He held up a bag of take-out, standing on the threshold of his bedroom. Scooting over on the bed, I reached out for the food. “Took you long enough. Changmin left. What were you doing?” I opened the brown paper bag, pulling out one of the white containers. “It’s been like an hour.”

“There was a mix up with the order,” Ryeowook explained vaguely, opening one of the smaller containers and dipping in with his chopsticks. “They took a while to get it together.”

Well, whatever, the food had come and he was back home. Changmin was wrong. Thank god I told him to get out. I was tired of his bitching about Ryeowook’s secret destiny. After spending some time with him, shouldn’t it have become clear that the kid was far from the next evil mastermind? Changmin was crazy and a dumb-fuck at that.

“You chose the same university as me,” I remarked. The radio played quietly in the background, humming a tune that I barely recognized.

He nodded absently, chewing his food.

Why was I making small talk? We never did this. But…it felt different that night. It was finally that time of the year where spring was warm enough to sleep with the windows open. Crickets chirped and birds cooed to accompany whatever artist sang through the stereo.

“Ryeowook,” I waited for him to turn his head and then I kissed him. It wasn’t playful or bruising like I would’ve normally done it. I…wanted to enjoy the moment. Thinking about exactly how his lips felt against mine was enough to make my heart thud against rib cage. My entire body ached to do it again and again just so I could feel that sensation of floating forever.

“Kyuhyun?” he breathed.

When I looked into his eyes, they weren’t vacant. In fact, he looked shocked and maybe dazed. The way my name sounded on his tongue told me that he had felt it too. I couldn’t figure out what it was, but that moment had to be once in a lifetime.

I pushed the take-out bag to the floor, setting my own container down on the bedside table. Plucking the one in his hand out, I put it aside as well. Clasping our hands, I pulled him to his feet, turning up the radio as we passed it.

“What are you doing?” Ryeowook stuttered, giving me the cutest confused face.

I placed my hand at the small of his back, leaning forward until our foreheads were touching ever-so softly. “Last time at that party, I didn’t get to dance with you.”

“Is this how you would’ve danced with me?”

“No,” I admitted, grinning and pressing our lips together again. I made a satisfied noise, practically melting at how good it was to kiss him like that. “But one of my favorite singers is on right now. He doesn’t do dance songs.”

On cue, Sung Si Kyung’s godly voice rattled the stereo.

I inhaled quietly, singing along softly.

 

 _Helps erase the torment of my past_  
The blinding sunlight and when I shade my eyes  
My fingertips seem bathed in red…  
  


Ryeowook joined in, taking the next lines with that sweet, high voice of his. The anguish of the song spilled through and at that moment, I thought nothing of it.

_The circle I secretly drew_  
On a number on the calendar is suddenly tomorrow  
I set out my favorite clothes  
Thinking of what your expression may be

I spun him around, pulling him close once more. Tilting down, I peered into his lifted eyes, smiling as our voices met and melted into one.

_Pure as the sea, your child like_  
Eyes and your smile  
Keep on showing up,

Closing my eyes, I slid my hands up, caressing the slopes of his face. Ryeowook hooked his fingers around my forearms, holding himself steady.

 __  
In my eyes the beam of light  
I give a sigh then laugh

He sang higher and louder than me then, words resonating like a worry I wished he held for me.

 __  
At the end of a difficult day  
Who will take care of you?  
Who will love you?  
  


My heart was beating erratically and it was if as I could combust any second. That’s how much heat thrummed through me. Resolve bit after resolve bit chipped away until I found myself crushing our lips together.

 __  
I am out of breath up to my chin  
The wind blows above my head  
I run with all my strength  
This may be the last gift

“K-Kyuhyun…,” he gasped.

I gazed back at him, hushing quietly when I pushed him back onto the bed. There was a light bounce from hitting the blankets.

_  
I give to you_

“You’re not alone,” I murmured. I don’t know why I felt like it was necessary to say that, but I did it anyway. “Believe me.”

“I know,” Ryeowook swallowed hard, face colored with embarrassment.

 __  
My tears flow, no, they are just the  
Flowing sweat drops from my face

It wasn’t just a quick fuck. It wasn’t even a moment of weakness.

I just…wanted to be with him. I didn’t want to regret spending another night together thinking that I had wasted a chance. The moment it struck me how right it felt to kiss Ryeowook was the same moment I realized high school was ending.

There was no more time for screwing around. Excuses and second chances didn’t exist anymore.

“Let me hold you,” I spoke against his throat, hands pressed against his bare waist.

“…okay,” Ryeowook’s fingers dug into my shoulders.

I kissed him with a laugh, enveloping his slender body in my arms.

 

I never want to be apart.

Just let this one person be mine.

I don’t care about the rest of them.

Just him.

Just Ryeowook is enough.

 __  
I will act nonchalant like before  
And give a smiling goodbye  
My darling love, I’m sorry

Sunlight streamed through the window. Birds sang in the early morning and I rolled over, shutting my eyes tighter. Groaning, I felt around the bed, shooting upright when there was nothing there.

“Ryeowook?” I called, looking around deliriously. A warm breeze rushed over my skin, reminding me clearly of what had happened that night. Keeping the blanket around my hips, I slid over the edge of the bed, looking around for some indication of where he might have gone.

_Far across the street I see you_  
You keep on looking at you feet, are you tired?  
With all my strength, I run  
This may be the last greeting  
That I give to you

The closet was missing his duffel bag and backpack. Clothes were gone and the drawers emptied. His stash of emergency cash had disappeared and his bag of toiletries was nowhere to be found.

Several school-issued textbooks rested in a pile on the desk. Next to them was his student I.D. card and used notebooks, along with his laptop and cell phone.

 __  
My tears flow, no, they are just the  
Flowing sweat drops from my face

And then I found it.

It wasn’t a note. Not really, at least.

A small piece of paper rested on top of the radio. Ryeowook’s clear, angular writing offered four lines: the last four lines of our song.

 __  
“You can’t be sad when I am not here,  
Like a dummy,  
You will be okay, live well,  
Good bye.”


	16. Solace

 

“There are some rules that we live by.” Siwon placed his drink down on the white tablecloth. A flickering candle rested between us, casting shadows wherever it pleased.

I put my utensil down, staring back at him. In the month that I had been with Siwon, there wasn’t much interaction aside from the nightly check-in. Days were spent with a private tutor, meals, and heavy doses of reading. Every free moment had been taken by reading literature or completing tasks issued by a middle man.

“We don’t go by standards of society, but that doesn’t mean we refuse to intermingle with their ideas,” he explained calmly, “for instance, I do not kill people and neither will you. Ordering the death of a person is different from getting your hands dirty.”

“Got it,” I nodded, looking down at the plate before me. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t uncomfortable either. My father had been shot half a dozen times; I had grown up knowing that I was the son of a man people hated.

“Good, then I will further tell you that you are not joining the newly aligned food chain as prey,” Siwon punched each word, “We don’t play meaningless games, therefore you must remember to never be trapped by useless things either. The world is controlled by the person with the greatest amount of control. It doesn’t matter if you’re incredibly smart or conniving; what matters is that you’re capable of garnering the assets necessary to play the field as you please.”

“And how do I get those assets?”

Siwon smiled. “Fortunately, I wouldn’t have taken you in if I wasn’t planning on setting you off. I’m playing my own game right now,” he nodded towards me slowly, and I felt my heart stricken for a second, “It’s a game about finding the person most fit to take my place. I’ve been in this business for years and I’m bored of it all now.” He picked up his glass, rolling his wrist to make the liquid swirl. “In two years, I’m going to transfer all assets to you. At that time, you’ll have learned how to do everything, I’m sure.”

“…Why did you choose me?” It had been bothering me since the first time we met. Of all the people out there, what made me special? Was there anything even special about me? I couldn’t fathom it at all. Deep down, I wasn’t especially interesting or passionate. Over all, I thought of myself as normal.

Siwon’s expression didn’t change. “You see the world in a way that I can relate to. Others would call you strange, perhaps cynical, but I can see beyond that. Your eyes are sharp and clear and truly impressionable.” His head tilted to one side thoughtfully, “I won’t lie to you; you’re greatest point of interest is how easy it is to mold your character. Inside, you keep hold of your convictions, but you’ll do anything to keep that tiny part of you stable – even if that means changing the world around you.”

“I’m trying to decide if I should be offended,” I admitted. He had insulted me numerous times in that explanation, but I couldn’t argue with them, so were they no longer insults?

Nonetheless, he was right on.

I didn’t care about the world changing around me. Even after that night with Kyuhyun I didn’t care enough to cling onto my former life. He wasn’t enough. No one could be enough. I had attempted to shed tears when I left him in the morning, but none came.

After finally crossing that line, I ran headlong on a new path. If I stuck around, Kyuhyun probably would’ve made me happy. Then again, maybe he wouldn’t have. Maybe I would’ve continued being chained by a whore-ridden father and a complicated, messy relationship with a moody boy.

Like I said back then, I’m done.

“So are you offended?” Siwon prompted.

I shook my head. “No, I’m not.”

“Good, then we can move on. There are two liabilities no one can escape. First, greed of those around you will continuously put you in a position of stress and distrust. Those emotions must be kept under check at all times. Dealing with people in this industry requires a fair amount of stoicism.” He tapped the table with his index finger. “And two, your greatest liability is love.”

“I don’t love anyone,” I answered quickly.

“That’s a lie,” Siwon retorted mildly, “but beside the point right now. Love is a liability remedied with love. Heartbreak will cause a downfall. Affection will keep you stable so long as both sides are mutually accepting of one another.” He was giving me a somewhat pitying look that I wanted to smudge off his face. “For you, I would say that it’s time you begin letting go of Kyuhyun. He’s a distraction that will compromise you and him in the future. I’ve spent a lot of time with Kyuhyun and although he’s a handful, I care for the boy. Continuing to feel anything for him will only result in more pain.”

I wanted so badly to refute his advice, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. My chest ached, however, other than that I knew my body wasn’t reacting to the words. I wasn’t planning on seeing Kyuhyun anymore. It was a decision I made the moment I left that house. “Understood.”

“Now, as I said, love is the remedy for love,” Siwon stood up from the table, grabbing his jacket from a waiting attendant, “It doesn’t have to be romantic love, nor does it have to be a lover-like affection. You simply need someone who is reachable and recognized as the most important person in your life. Considering your new life, I assume you don’t have an important someone yet?” It sounded like a question, and was phrased as a question, but I was sure that it was highly rhetorical.

“No,” I answered, anyway. The sky was polluted with light when we got outside, but beyond the city rays, there was a vast network of stars and deep hues of blue. What time was it?

A hand dropped onto my shoulder and I pulled back to attention. Following Siwon’s gaze, I found Yesung – that was his lover apparently, and his right-hand man; I’m still unsure as to whether or not he was the one who held me at gun point – who leaned against a black car. Beside him was a dark haired young man. His face was lean and noticeably handsome.

There was a little smile playing on his lips and when our eyes met, I had to take a step back. A challenge rested in his gaze that no one had ever extended to me before.

“This is Lee Donghae,” Siwon’s voice stated, but it sounded muffled.

I nodded along, unable to break eye contact with the person named Donghae.

“He’s Yesung’s heir,” he went on, “and he’s your most important person.”

 


	17. Proximity

 

Graduation has ended.

I didn’t go.

“Kyuhyun, no, this is dangerous. Don’t go.” Changmin was such a fucking noisy bitch. Ever since Ryeowook ran away, he’s been watching me and sticking by me like I’m gonna off myself any second. If you didn’t know, I’m not that suicidal.

He ran away; he didn’t die. I know the difference.

I threw his hand off, continuing to walk through the slums. Why he had followed me that far, fuck if I knew. Hell, I didn’t know a lot of things those days. For one, I didn’t understand why Ryeowook disappeared after sleeping with me. He seemed like he was just as…caught up in all of it. What could I have possibly done? You know, aside from the whole taking his virginity thing, which I’m pretty sure he didn’t mind.

“If you’re just gonna bitch the whole fucking way, get your ass out of here,” I spat, kicking a stray trash can aside.

My parole officer was apparently at some shitty conference for another day or so and I was stuck with a bimbo asshole who couldn’t tell me right from left.

“Okay, I know you’ve been waiting for a lead since last month, but you need to chill out,” Changmin grabbed my arm, swinging me around.

Instinctively, I lunged forward with my fist, teeth gritting when he blocked it. Tearing away from him, I clenched my hands. “The police haven’t done _shit_ , bro. They don’t fucking care and I’m sick of their bull-sucking-dick answers. I’m going to someone who actually knows a thing or two about this damn world.”

“They don’t know anything about the world,” Changmin shouted, reaching for me again. I gave him a look and he backed off. I swore if he touched me one more time like that, I would rip his throat out. I had never been a patient person and being tested in such a way wasn’t good for my sanity. “Kyuhyun, _please_ , just turn around and come back with me.”

Closing the gap between us, I pressed a finger to his chest, tapping it faintly. “ _You_ don’t order _me_ around, stiff. I do whatever the hell I want, when I want. You can follow me if that your thing, but I’m not stopping because of your pansy-ass morals.” Then I turned around, stalking off towards the warehouse.

Yesung had told me this was his second to last day in the area before selling off the place. That meant I didn’t have much time left. I just needed something – anything – so I would stop thinking about Ryeowook for one second. His face, voice, body…all of it coursed through my mind and made my fingers and spine tingle. I wanted to touch him and hear his sweet words again. It wasn’t fair that I had only been allowed to drown in those wonderful, warm phrases for one night. He had gotten me addicted and then left.

Changmin didn’t utter another word as we entered the building. I walked up the stairs, not bothering to look around at my surroundings. It was pretty obvious that everything was stripped bare and cleaned already.

Stopping in front of that familiar door, I pushed it open without knocking. There was Yesung sitting behind the desk, but he wasn’t the only one in the room. A guy sat on the couch, arms slung over the back and a book resting open over his face. I couldn’t tell what he looked like at first, obviously, but he was well built and lean as hell. His legs were muscular and long even through his black pants.

“Kyuhyun, what’s wrong?” Yesung gave me that concerned look. His guest or whoever perked up as well, tilting the book up to look at what was happening.

“I need you to find Kim Ryeowook for me,” I blurted, feeling a heavy weight lift off my shoulders.

He was quiet for a second, but then shook his head. “We shut down our intelligence network last week. There’s no way to find information by tomorrow with our current resources.”

And down went that huge weight.

“No, I need this.” I couldn’t stop myself. It was disgusting and desperate, but I had had enough of being left in the dark. If anyone could find out what happened to Ryeowook, it would be Yesung. “Please, as a favor, just look into it.”

He sighed, expression shifting back into one of unnerving calm. “Fine, I’ll look into it. I doubt you’ll be pleased with my answer tomorrow.”

“Anything,” I shrugged, “I’ll take anything. Thanks.” Turning around, I started towards the door, not surprised to find Changmin giving me a weird look. The moment we were around the corner and headed down the hallway, he came up beside me, no longer afraid of being noticed.

“That was…impressive,” he admitted.

 Of course it was impressive. Everything I did was impressive. “Yeah, I know.”

Changmin smiled in awe. “No, really, I’ve never met someone who could talk to a mobster with so much ease. You weren’t even afraid of him.”

“If Yesung scares you, there are bigger to be worrying about,” I cocked an eyebrow, “He’s hardly going to make you burst into flames with just his glare.”

“No wonder they like you,” he laughed, “you have so much confidence.”

“A stiff should have more confidence than that,” I remarked. We were on the base floor then. Finally taking a second to look around, I gave the place a once over. There were no longer any major light fixtures or stereos or furniture for that matter. I could only see anything because of the high ceiling windows and broken bits of wall.

“Hey.”

I stopped, twisting around to face the staircase. Changmin tensed up in my peripheral vision. The guy from Yesung’s office was sitting on a step in the middle of the stairs. His elbows rested on knees and an annoying, ambiguous smile curved his lips. Dark hair fell over his forehead and equally dark eyes hinted at amusement. Humor. Mockery.

“What?” I called back.

“My name is Donghae,” he said conversationally, head pressing into the palm of a propped up hand. “Yesung talks highly of you. So does Siwon.”

“Who are you?” I wasn’t pulling punches, not with this guy. He gave off the same feeling as Siwon; sort of like he could end you in every sense of the word if you made one wrong move.

He gave me a curious look but then laughed softly. “The way you spoke to Yesung just now was crazy. I’ve never seen someone do that.”

“What do you want?” I ignored his comment.

Donghae slipped a hand into his pocket, fishing out a cell phone. Lazily, he tossed it the short distance and I caught it. “You’re looking for someone named Kim Ryeowook, right?” He smiled, standing up and stretching, “I’ll tell you about any leads I come across through that phone. It’s a secure network.”

My heart skipped a beat and I swear I will never say that again. “Why would you do this?” I demanded, holding onto the phone tightly.

“I think you’re interesting, Kyuhyun,” he answered easily, turning around and ascending the steps.

He wasn’t the only one interested. Just, I had to wonder how different our ideas of interest were at that moment.

 

 


	18. Daylight

 

In most movies and probably books too, there’s always some sort of chemistry between the main characters. Well, I couldn’t deny the chemistry I had with the young man named Lee Donghae. Just, redefine what that word actually means.

“C’mon, you can do it.”

I gasped, choking and spitting. The next second, I was plunging back into the ice water. Fingers dug into my scalp, another hand closed around my throat.

When I next came up for air, I swallowed the instinct to breathe and sputtered, “Daylight!”

Donghae jerked me back, water splashing across the bathroom floor. His hands fell away and I gingerly inspected my throbbing neck. Cold tendrils coiled and dripped from the ends of my hair.

“Three minutes and seven seconds,” he murmured.

I closed my eyes, trying to stop the shivers raking my body. “Dammit.”

“We aren’t stopping until you hit five minutes,” Donghae stated, sounding like he was laughing.

Yes, we had chemistry, so long as chemistry was defined as a predator and its prey. We were ordered by Siwon and Yesung to train together and thus far it had been more of a bullying session than anything else.

He enjoyed seeing me legitimately struggle.

“How long have we been doing this?” I breathed shakily.

“Two hours,” he responded, “you’re increased stamina by a minute. Two more and then we’re done for the night.”

“ _We_?” I couldn’t help retort.

Donghae’s mouth twitched. “I’m here helping you through it. If you could’ve lasted longer the first time, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” His fingers tangled in my hair again and his hand closed around my throat. “Let’s get back to it.”

 

***

 

“Daylight!”

I clicked my tongue, glowering at his apparent inability to cut vegetables. “Why are you using the safe word? I’m not even teaching you something difficult,” I snapped.

Donghae flashed that innocent little grin of his. “We can use that word whenever we want out when we’re uncomfortable. I am extremely uncomfortable right now.”

“Just cut the vegetables,” I sighed, bringing the knife down on a slab of meat.

It had been a two weeks since we were forced to move in together. In the beginning, we had simply been kept in the same hotel suites while travelling to the new headquarters in another city. Siwon and Yesung had rarely shown their faces, only doing so when they wanted to check on our progress or give us a special training assignment.

We had been tasked with a variety of things ranging anywhere from weapons assembly to cooking dinner. There was an endless list of hobbies and talents we were expected to learn. The worst ones though had to be the torture lessons. Donghae had taken the liberty of personally teaching me about how to keep calm under torture, even going as far as to establish a safe word: Daylight.

Most of the time, I was the only one using it, but sometimes he would as well when there was a talent I had to teach him. As for why he would ever need a safe word when it came to my hobbies, I didn’t know. It wasn’t as if I had him bent over a bathtub drowning him.

“You never spoke to Kyuhyun like this.”

My knife slipped, nearly slicing through a finger. Cursing under my breath, I looked over my shoulder to see Donghae fully facing me, hips leaned back against the counter. His arms were crossed laxly. “What do you mean?” I mumbled.

Donghae nodded his chin at me absently. “I’ve seen how you two interact. I’ve heard about it too. This is the first time you’ve spoken so outrageously to anyone, isn’t it?” His smile was all-knowing and just seeing it made me want to tear my own hair out.

“You don’t know anything about that,” I replied simply.

“Yesung is my mentor,” he pushed off from the counter, “I was taught to learn everything I can about the people I associate with.” Donghae kept coming forward. “The moment I learned of you, I went in search of information about you. What I found was Kyuhyun. You two have been in love since the first time you met, but neither of you seemed to notice until the night you decided to leave.” He was right in front of me then, so close that I could feel his breath on my skin. “It must have been a sign.”

A sign, I was sure, that meant we weren’t supposed to be together. From the look in Donghae’s eyes, he had been thinking the same thing.

“Here,” he lifted up a phone, that challenging glint in his eyes again, “I met Kyuhyun a while back and I promised to contact him with any information about you.” I refused to admit that that made me happy. It was more of a bother than anything. “I think it’s about time I do that.” Donghae snaked an arm around my body, gripping me tightly against him.

I forced myself to not push him away with eyes lowered to the minimal space – if any – existed between us. “Why would you tell me this?”

“Another trial,” he answered simply, the phone’s speaker belting out dial tones. His lips pressed against the side of my neck and jolts tingled my spine. “If you can’t handle it, just shout ‘daylight’ like you always do.”

“Hello?” an irritated voice replaced the droning mechanics.

My body stiffened and Donghae laughed in my ear. Shutting my mouth, I tried not to focus on Kyuhyun’s familiar voice. It had been so long and I was beginning to remember what I had given up. That person with his arrogance and silent concern and our special, if not screwed up, friendship.

“Hey Kyuhyun,” Donghae greeted casually, his long fingers finding their way underneath the back of my shirt. Jerking my head away, I bite down on my lip. “So I looked into it for you. A report of a teenager involved in a car accident popped up. Ryeowook didn’t have any identification with him, so they took a blood sample from the body they—”

My hand slammed over his mouth before I could comprehend what I had just done. Staring up at him, I could already see the smugness of victory in his eyes. “I…,” I whispered, feeling my arm slump back down. Dropping my head to his shoulder, I gripped the sleeve of his t-shirt, breathing slowly.

Donghae’s hand pulled back from my skin, trailing up to run through my hair. “You still there, Kyuhyun?”

“Yeah, I am,” he responded softly.

“Well, as I was saying, they took a blood sample and compared it to the police database’s records of his father. It was a match.”

I wanted to shoot this man. I loathed him. I would shove him over a ledge. He found pleasure in anything and everything that made me break. Worst of all, he had to be my most important person. I couldn’t understand his merit. We had nothing in common. It was like an animal being raised up for slaughter. Why had Siwon considered Donghae to be a good partner in any sense?

“…shouldn’t Yesung’s bitch be better at data collection?” Kyuhyun finally sighed.

My eyes flickered up to see Donghae grinning.

“I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. You can go verify it yourself,” he murmured, blowing cool air across my ear.

I flinched, scooting as much as I could away from him. Donghae’s fingers simply tightened around my hair, tugging me back roughly. His teeth dragged across the crook of my neck. I muffled a gasp into his chest, digging nails into his shirt sleeve. The muscles beneath soft fabric tensed. It was only a small victory to make him uncomfortable.

“And what happens when I find out that you’re a cock sucking liar?” Kyuhyun scoffed.

It seemed like he had picked up a couple more vulgar sayings since I last saw him.

“I bet you’ll be even angrier,” Donghae answered mildly. Suddenly, he shoved me back against the counter edge, pushing forward until our hips were flush and my shoulder blades grazed the smooth surface. “But you’re gonna be even more upset when you find out I didn’t get my facts wrong.” Donghae grasped my throat, fingertips pressing into the sides of my neck.

I gritted teeth, ignoring the rising panic.

“Your Kim Ryeowook is dead,” he licked his lips, leaning over and speaking in hushed tones against the side of my jaw. “Got that?” his whisper sliced through my ear drum, stinging in all the right – wrong – places. Pushing up on his elbow, Donghae lifted the phone up again, “My condolences. If you ever need anything—” A dial tone surged through the device.

Blinking a few times, Donghae stared at the phone perplexed. A smile graced his features and he tucked it into his back pocket. “Whoops,” he mumbled, hovering over me, elbows pinning me in on either side.

“Why…no, no I know why,” I fumbled for words, “but… _why_?”

His expression didn’t soften or mock. “You’re in or you’re out. There’s no in between. Whoever you used to be is no longer a valid option.” Donghae let his head fall to one side, eyes dark and deep. “So long as you hold onto hope for Kyuhyun, you will keep on calling ‘daylight’ and wavering. Think of this as a favor for him and you.”

“Being tortured and never seeing Kyuhyun again are completely different,” I said voice quieter than I wanted it to be.

“Then tell me: which one is worse?”

I couldn’t say.

Donghae pushed off of me, rolling his neck as he walked back over to his vegetables. “You don’t have a decision anymore, Ryeowook,” he said calmly, flatly, “jump ship and drown.”

“In the bathtub?” I let slip.  

He peered back at me, a playful light entering his eyes. Without saying a thing, he turned back and continued preparing the vegetables.

Sighing, I went back to my own task for cooking. If Kyuhyun thought I was dead, then so be it. Donghae was right. I had no choice anymore. I wasn’t going to curl up in a ball and cry over the decision I had made.

 


	19. Confrontations

 

I had never wanted to punch my parole officer more. There were plenty of times where I idly considered it, but this time, if Changmin wasn’t holding me back I would’ve lunged at him. “How can you _say_ that?!” I screamed, throat burning and hoarse. “He’s your _son_!”

The asshole calmly closed his hands over the table, not looking at me. “Yes, he’s my son and that’s why I understand him best—”

“—don’t give me that bull-fucking-shit you motherfucker,” I cut in, struggling to keep my voice steady. “Ryeowook might not know, but I’m not that stupid. I know that you’re not the upstanding stiff you act like.” I shut my eyes, trying not to spit on him. “But whatever, that’s your problem. You don’t know the first thing about Ryeowook. You didn’t even come to his graduation. You leave him alone with someone like _me_.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Do you seriously get what stupid shit you’ve done? Your son isn’t my parole officer, why the fuck was he the one who always helped me?”

“If this is about neglecting you, we can talk about it another time,” he sighed.

I tore out of Changmin’s hold, ripping the table up. It crashed into the floor, my parole officer standing up.

“Kyuhyun!” he shouted.

“Oh, that gets a reaction, dumb-fuck?” I kicked one of the chairs over, breaking the leg of it. “Well why doesn’t the death of your son get one?”

“HE’S NOT DEAD!”

I involuntarily stepped back, staring into his breaking eyes. Maybe I should’ve felt sympathy for him. After all, his son just died. But I didn’t feel anything like pity for him. He hardly deserved it. “Why would you care?” I asked softly, watching surprise and denial swarm on his face. “Denial? Really? You _think_ you knew Ryeowook well enough to be in denial? Stop joking. You’re embarrassed that you fucked shit up. You haven’t cared about your son since your wife died.”

His fist came then, but I dodged it, starting to back away to the door. Changmin was right behind me, unlocking it.

“I hope you’re happy.”

Confusion flitted across his features.

“You drove him to run away. You killed your son.”

Changmin slammed the door.

  

I wasn’t sure how far we had run, but it had to be a lengthy distance because there were no police cars following us. My mind was spinning with energy and adrenaline polluted my veins. It felt great to be alive and relieved of all those pent-up emotions.

Then again, it didn’t change much of anything.

Donghae was Yesung’s follower or something. He had to know what he was talking about.

Did I cry and get all flowery and shit? No. I’m not some pussy.

But I was pissed.

How could Ryeowook leave me like that? Had he wanted to get away from all of this so badly? Why couldn’t we work it out together? That night was what bothered me most. If he had been thinking about leaving, why didn’t he take me along or at least decide to stay? With only a month and a half left of high school, we could’ve started over – maybe together, even. I could’ve been there for him. I had been there for him since we first met, or so I thought.

“Kyuhyun? Are you listening?”

I turned my head, seeing Changmin. He was holding a convenience store sandwich, another extended to me. Taking it, I started unwrapping the foil. “What is it?”

“What are you going to do now? Your parole officer is probably gonna report you.”

“I didn’t do shit,” I shrugged slowly, “besides, it’s already too late. Yesterday was his last day as my keeper.”

Changmin smiled knowingly and stretched his legs out. “You really planned everything didn’t you?”

“Even got my court hearing bumped up to two days ago,” I smirked. “But that’s beside the point. I don’t know what to do now.” It felt strange to admit something like that, but it was the truth. “Ryeowook wasn’t my life or anything, but…how do you react to the death of someone you care about?”

“There are different ways,” Changmin responded, “but in your case, I think you’re still in denial. Yeah, you’ve been capable of saying he’s dead, but you don’t sound convinced.”

“I’m not convinced.”

“Well, start getting convinced because he’s gone.”

No matter how many times someone said that, I couldn’t comprehend it. My brain didn’t understand the statement. Ryeowook couldn’t just disappear forever like that. I could practically see him appearing again one day, giving me that casual glance and a short explanation for where he’s been.

“How do you know he’s gone?” I insisted, daring to be annoying.

Changmin continued with his patient, practiced voice, “I double checked the story Donghae gave you. There was an accident a city over and the person was a teenager fitting all of Ryeowook’s criteria.”

“That doesn’t tell me anything.” I knew I was being difficult as hell. Giving up was the last thing I wanted to do though. “If I don’t see it with my own eyes then I won’t believe it.”

“…Then what do you think about coming to work for the government…with me.”

There was a shitload of things that weren’t clicking in my head. For a smart person, I was feeling strangely out of the loop. “What?” I asked, lamely.

Changmin looked at me calmly. “There’s a program. It’ll be a lot of work, but if you want to find out what really happened to Ryeowook – in your words – then this is your only bet. No other program will offer you a chance considering your background.”

“What kind of program is it?”

“Covert operations.”4

Again, I had to take a second to let that sink in. In essence, he wanted to be a _spy_? Was that a normal career choice? “And they’ll let me look for Ryeowook?”

“They’ll let you look into his disappearance,” Changmin corrected, “if you make it in.”

Well fuck. I had never been under someone’s rule in that way before. Maybe it would be interesting. Or at least it would distract me from the things I couldn’t accept.

 


	20. Regret

 

I have a dream that won’t cease. It’s actually more of a nightmare.

Kyuhyun has tears running down his face. His hair was so dark and the sky was painfully bright. Both knees dug into the ground, blood running down his fingertips and body splattered with dirt. Lips quivering, he stared forward and I tried to touch him – ask him what had happened.

My body wasn’t in the dream though.

I could only watch.

A gun’s click shattered the silence. The cold metal lined up against the back of Kyuhyun’s skull. Standing over him, wielding the weapon, was Donghae with his little smile and deep gaze.

Those weren’t the eyes that captivated me. Instead, it was the pair Kyuhyun beheld the end with. His brown irises were shimmering yet empty, and the pupils were large and black.

Slowly, eyelids slipped down and his lips parted with subsiding tears.

Donghae was looking straight up at me, able to see me apparently. “Do you regret it?”

 

I woke up to my own screams, a cold sweat drenching my clothes and an erratic heartbeat that unsettled me.

In the doorway, Donghae watched me. When I focused on him, his expression was somewhere between cold and curious. There was a towel around his neck, arms crossed over his muscular torso. A fresh glow still remained on his skin from what I figured had been a shower. Sweatpants hung low around his angular, lean hips and probably were more provocative than they should’ve been.

“What?” I breathed, swallowing dryly.

“When the person you live with becomes hysterical, it’s recommended to check up on them,” he mused.

“I’m not…,” I trailed off, wondering then if he was right. This would mark the third time I had woken up screaming or crying or panicking. “I need a shower.” Pushing the blanket off, I began getting up, only to have Donghae stop me.

He continued hovering in the doorway, eyes intent. “If all you needed was a shower, then this wouldn’t be a recurring event.” One foot slid across the carpet and then he was gliding closer. “What are you dreaming about?”

“You don’t care.”

Donghae sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his palms. “You’re the only person I will ever care for, so let me learn to care for you.”

That’s right. We were bound together by our chosen paths in life. The problem was that we had no romantic chemistry or even sibling chemistry. Our relationship was nonexistent and therefore, forced at its best.

“I dream about Kyuhyun,” I stated, not daring to look at him, “and you’re holding a gun to his head. It varies, but that’s the essence of it. …And the words you say before you shoot him are always the same. ‘Do you regret it?’” I doubted that he sincerely felt anything about what I had to say. Out loud, it sounded less terrifying than it had in my head. “I wake up before you kill him every time.”

He didn’t take much time to answer me. “Maybe you should answer the question then.”

I finally turned to him, seeing that he had gotten closer at some point.

Donghae kicked himself up and off the blankets. “It’s simple, isn’t it, Ryeowook? Do you regret it? Yes or no?” He headed towards the door, yawning and stretching his arms. “I’m gonna make breakfast.”

“Without supervision?” I prompted absently.

I heard him laugh a little. “If I burn our place down, then we’ll just make Siwon and Yesung buy us a new one.”

 

Studying the list of tasks, I heaved a sigh. There were still so many things to learn before I could move up. A majority of them were painful and/or nerve-wracking. Donghae would probably get annoyed again with me shouting ‘daylight’ every few seconds.

I closed my eyes, struggling to organize everything mentally. One of the first things that came to mind was obviously the dream. If I didn’t have it every other day, it was at least once a week. During my active hours, I attempted to do all I could to avoid contemplating it in any of the varying forms.

“What do you want to work on today?”

“Nothing stressful,” I muttered, peering up at Donghae.

He cracked that tiny smile of his and then said, “Let’s go then.”

I had no idea what he meant, but I was already following him out the apartment door. We ventured through the building, down the elevator and only came out two levels underground. Aside from grocery shopping, I never left the building. That was probably how Siwon had planned it. Until I was ready in two years to take over for him, he was taking every precaution to keep me out of any uncontrollable situations.

“Love is a liability.”

The elevator doors opened to a firing range. No one else occupied it at the moment. There were a few targets set up and several guns of different shapes and sizes lined up on a rack.

“Huh?” I blinked, having not been paying attention to Donghae.

He picked up a handgun, loaded it, and came back over to me in mere seconds. His eyes were glowing fiercely, meaning he must have felt in his element. If this was his element though, I should’ve feared him much more.

“I said: Love is a liability,” he repeated, turning me around to face the target. Slipping a silencer onto the weapon, he came up behind me, broader frame curving around my back. Long, nimble fingers closed around mine, setting the gun properly. “It’s what Siwon taught you, isn’t it? You’re still thinking about Kyuhyun,” Donghae’s voice rushed over my ear, every part of him thousands of times more amplified in the situation, “that’s why you’re not sleeping and why you’re afraid of falling for me.”

The gun recoiled.

I gasped, but Donghae was there like a safety net holding me steady. Shaking off the buzz, I lifted my head, saying, “That isn’t why I’m not falling for…” My heart jumped at how close we were, those irritating, tantalizing eyes dragging me in.

“Then what is it?” he murmured.

Damn. I swallowed hard, “Because we were forced together. That’s…why.”

He looked ready to laugh at that. “You’re still not seeing clearly.” Before I could say anything, he pressed a phone into my hand, the gun disappearing from sight. It looked like a normal flip phone, nothing special. “It tracks calls,” Donghae stated, “any phone that has ever connected with this device was bugged, in a sense.”

“What does this mean?”

Taking the phone back for a moment, he punched in a code and then handed it back. A map took up the screen with a blinking right circle between gridlines. “Kyuhyun. Until you face him, you’re going to continue wavering over this decision.” Donghae’s expression grew harder. “The longer you insist on hesitating, the more time is being wasted.”

“But what about—”

He snatched my arm, pulling me to the elevators. “—you’re going to need to be quiet. I’ll handle everything, so don’t worry about it.”

The doors opened on the main floor. We stepped out and he let me go. “I think I misjudged you, Donghae.”

“You didn’t misjudge me,” he smiled faintly, “you’re just seeing another side of me.” And then he nodded towards the exit.

I didn’t waste any more time, knowing full well that I had wasted weeks thinking about Kyuhyun and what could have been and so much other bullshit. If possible, I had to clear up everything as Donghae had advised. There was no way I could continue living with one foot in and one foot out.

 

It had been nearly sundown when I left, and it was dark out by the time I told the cab to stop. To be fair, the entire situation lacked drama and slow-motion walks. In fact, at the time, I thought it was all very perfect and surreal.

The moment I arrived at the red marker on the tracking phone, I found Kyuhyun who was heading towards a boarding train. I quickly climbed out of the cab, starting to walk towards him, struggling to cut through the throngs of people. My body was moving on its own, fighting breathlessly, painstakingly, to reach his fading figure.

It wasn’t a dream in that moment.

It was more than my current reality.

It was less than what I used to know.

Really, it was much less than the past. A familiar face in one of the windows caught my attention. Changmin was sitting in the train, and then I knew where Kyuhyun would be next. As for trying to board the vehicle, I didn’t. My body had moved first and now it stopped me first.

Noise turned into muffled shuffling of feet and whispered voices. Through the window, I watched Kyuhyun come up to the Changmin. The latter stood up pressing his lips to Kyuhyun’s as if it was the most natural thing in the world. In turn, Kyuhyun pushed him away with a laugh.

The painfully loud blaring of the train ripped through my mind.

At some point, the station had emptied.

My eyes wandered back into focus in time to see Kyuhyun’s disbelieving face. He stared for only a second and then he disappeared from sight. A moment later, he reappeared at the closed sliding doors. I didn’t see anything else though.

I was walking away. There was no reason to stay longer. I had my answer.

No, I didn’t regret it.

 


	21. Chances

 

I made a choice. If it got me Ryeowook back, nothing else mattered. So long as someone got me the resources, I would be able to achieve anything. That’s how it works in my world.

Changmin gave me the opportunity and I took it. The plans were set and in motion. I would meet him at the train station out of the city and we would head to the government training facility. Considering how little I had to pack and how few people I had to tell goodbye, the whole experience wasn’t much of a hassle.

The main point was that everything was easy.

There had been no surprises.

Even finding out that Changmin had a thing for me wasn’t a surprise. Please, look at me. Who wouldn’t have a thing for me? It wasn’t a big deal if he kissed me once in a while. I would hardly beat the shit out of him for doing something so little.

Now, why the fuck did I have to think like that? Why couldn’t I be more conservative or some shit? If I had, would it have changed what happened?

When I sat down next to him on the train, my spirits were high because I knew I was going somewhere that would take me one step closer to Ryeowook. I could meet him soon. And then I looked out the window.

At first, it seemed like a vision – you know, like I was losing my mind or something. But then I blinked and shook my head and pinched myself. He was still there.

Ryeowook was standing alone on the boarding dock. His clothes were dark and fitted, and he looked thinner, if that was possible. Was it wrong that I thought he looked attractive there? Just seeing him made a flurry of things fly through my head.

Then his eyes…god, those eyes…they met mine.

Everything was auto-pilot then.

“RYEOWOOK!” I shook the doors without restraint, heart racing. “NO! FUCK, RYEOWOOK! RYEOWOOK, ANSWER ME!” I screamed, pounding on the glass. His back faced me, but he was right there. One fucking piece of metal separated us. If it wasn’t there, I would have him in my arms again. I wouldn’t just be watching him walk away from me.

“I told you wait!” I shouted, digging fingers through my hair. I knew he wasn’t dead. I fucking knew I was right. “Dammit…”

Donghae lied.

That bastard lied.

I fumbled back to my seat, finding my bag and tearing through it. The train was already well on its way and trying to jump out now would be straight up suicide. I could vaguely hear a conductor yelling at me for behaving like a wild animal.

 _Phone…phone…phone…_ I touched the smooth surface and cursed out loud in excitement. Flipping through the call history, I found Donghae’s number, dialing it impatiently.

Immediately, it went to voice mail.

I redialed and redialed and redialed until I had no idea what I was even listening to on the other side of that device. He wasn’t picking up. He wouldn’t pick up. Why had he lied in the first place? What was the point in hiding something like this from me?

“Kyuhyun!” Changmin shook me hard.

I whipped around, shoving him back.

“Bro, chill,” he bit out, glowering at me.

I took a second to process what he was saying and when I did, I leaned back in the seat, struggling to control my breathing and stop my hands from shaking. “Ryeowook is alive. You saw him,” I seethed.

Changmin nodded faintly from the corner of my eye. “Yeah, I saw him. Sorry…for getting the facts wrong.”

“You weren’t the one who lied. You were tricked too.”

That was the end of that conversation.

As you’d expect, I wasn’t in the mood for talking – not when I had let Ryeowook leave a second time. I clenched my fists, trying not to rip a hole in the train and chase after him.

It felt like I was insane. I had let the same thing happen twice now without any change or progress. There had to be something wrong with me. Why was I suddenly so incompetent? Had I always been such a useless thing?

 

***

 

“We’re going to arrive soon.”

I opened my eyes, looking down at the phone tightly clutched in hand. Outside, the sky was still pitch black, meaning it was probably somewhere around one or two o’clock. The train was slowing down, but I hardly cared.

There was still no call.

Maybe I spoke too soon though.

The phone vibrated and I jumped out of my seat, racing out to the silent corridor, shutting the door behind me before Changmin could follow. He was cool and all, but he was also such a busy-body – just like every other annoying official.

Overhead, the digital board displayed an approximate arrival time. I had roughly fifteen minutes before then.

“Any reason you’ve called so many times?” Donghae’s voice pierced the speaker. It was low and pleased and worth destroying.

“You know already, motherfucking liar,” I spat, having been pissed since the moment I figured out what happened. Sleeping had been a joke. My body didn’t relax for even a second. “Why did you tell me that bullshit about Ryeowook dying? Was it just some sick joke—?”

“—he might as well be dead.”

I don’t normally go quiet, but I did in this case.

Donghae was silent for only a second. “He might as well be dead because you’ll never see him again. It was a complete fluke this time. Well, you seeing him was a fluke. That just goes to show that I can’t control people and events”

“What…are you talking about?” I asked slowly, lips drying.

“I obviously let him see you,” he murmured, “or else he would’ve never done such a thing. I needed him to get over you though, Kyuhyun. Based on some guessing and probability, I figured that you would do something inappropriate that would crush whatever delusion Ryeowook had about you.”

I could literally hear the pieces clicking into place.

“You didn’t fail my predictions, so thank you for being you,” he laughed softly, “More importantly, as I said before Ryeowook will no longer be meeting you. This is a true promise. If you cross paths, that’s different. Anyway,” Donghae dismissed like a pompous ass, “you played your part well, now it’s done.”

“Why did Yesung and Siwon take Ryeowook?” I couldn’t help myself. “…please, tell me.”

His silence probably meant he was contemplating what to do. The worst part was, if he was plotting something, I probably wouldn’t know. If I didn’t trust him, I lost all information about Ryeowook, and if I trusted him, well, he could feed me shit again.

“I doubt I’m at liberty to discuss these things with an outsider,” Donghae finally answered. “Ryeowook is none of your concern anymore. I’ll take care of him from now on. This phone line will go dead, so refrain from trying to call.”

“No, stop!” I shouted, “What—”

_Call disconnected._

“Fuck it all,” I ground out, looking up to see the doors of the train opening. The compartment divider slid back and Changmin came through holding our bags. I grabbed mine, climbing out of the train.

I should’ve been angry because Donghae was treating me like a fool. I also should’ve been angry for being told off. The weird thing was, I had no anger to spare for those things. I was pissed, sure, but that had to do with an entirely different fact.

_I’ll take care of him from now own._

Ryeowook already belonged to me. I was grown up enough to take care of him, so why had someone else taken my rightful place?

 


	22. Light

 

I picked at a spot on the couch cushion. It was small and barely bothersome unless you really took a look at it. The balcony was ajar and allowing a night breeze to drift through the living room. I felt the spot give a little, so I stopped, not wanting to ruin the perfectly nice corduroy. Then again, it was already ruined with that one point, so why not just continue picking at it?

“What’s wrong?”

 My hand froze mid-air and I looked up to see Donghae coming closer. “Why are you still awake? It’s late.”

He shrugged and dropped down in the seat beside me. I thought about scooting away, but there was no more room and that would mean leaving behind the spot I had diligently been working at. “It’s not that late and we have a late start tomorrow as well.” Donghae tilted his head, gazing at me. “Your meeting with Kyuhyun…it didn’t sound like it had gone well earlier.”

“I expected what happened,” I answered truthfully. Really, nothing was shocking or even painful—my nail hooked inside the spot, widening the gap. “Why?” Kyuhyun wasn’t someone who knew restraint. No matter how many visions of that night played through my mind, I knew it was an illusion. He wouldn’t have meant any of those soft sighs or sweet murmurs or gentle touches. That wasn’t the Kyuhyun I always knew, so why had I let it fool me – let it throw me off so much?

“You’re ruining the couch.” Donghae took my hand, pulling it away from the corduroy. I exhaled, not lifting my head to see him. “Ryeowook, would you care if I told you that I was responsible for making you see Kyuhyun?”

“I already knew that,” I closed my eyes, feeling his fingers running over the back of my hand, “but you didn’t make him act like he always does. That was Kyuhyun in his natural state.”

He entwined our fingers and I stared down at them. There was such a difference and yet the longer I studied them, the more I realized how similar we were. Calloused palms touched calloused palms, and cleans fingernails curved over smooth skin. “Then you’re not mad?”

Mad? How could I be mad when he did nothing? If anything, he helped me see the truth again. I had been romanticizing my relationship with Kyuhyun. We weren’t a forbidden love or a high school romance or even bad-boy-gone-good-for-love. What were we then?

I was another side character in his life. I could come and go without anyone noticing. Why had I tried to infiltrate his story? Changmin was his counterpart. Wasn’t that obvious?

He was the new kid in school. He stood up to Kyuhyun. It was picture perfect. And from what I saw on the train, they were already on their way to a place together. Changmin was his proper partner, not me or any other useless kid.

A soft voice hummed against my hair. I breathed in deeply, coming to my senses only to realize that I had fallen half into Donghae’s lap. His arms were around my waist, and my head rested against his shoulder. There was a wet patch under my cheek, which just made me want to laugh. “W-Why am I crying?” Lips moved against Donghae’s collarbone. His scent wrapped around me like a warm blanket. How could someone so sadistic have such a gentle aroma?

“I don’t know why either,” he mumbled, running his fingertips down the nape of my neck. “…maybe you miss him?”

“That’s not it,” I choked, “I f-feel so stupid.” A sob burst from my throat and I tightened my grip on his shirt. “I…I wanted to be the m-main character…I wanted to be p-part of his s-story.” Why did it have to be Changmin? Was it because he was actually a good person? I used to think that I was the best influence in Kyuhyun’s life, but I had to be wrong. Changmin was sincerely straight-laced. “I…guess I wasn’t good enough.”

“You’re much better than all of them,” he whispered like the most refreshing breeze. I felt myself relaxing even more in his arms and maybe I would’ve been uncomfortable before, but it was alright in that moment. Donghae made it seem as if everything would work out so long as I stayed in his warmth. “You’re special…that’s why you couldn’t fit into that story. All of them are the same, but you’re different, Ryeowook. You want to change the world. You want to make everything better.”

He was right. Of course he was right. “How do you know we’ll succeed?”

Donghae chuckled, his thumb pressing and brushing across my cheek. I turned to look up at him. His face was barely an inch away, those shining, lively eyes pulling me deeper into new territory. “Because I will be there,” he murmured, “I’ll protect you from everything and anything that could stop us from achieving our goal.”

“Empty words,” I scoffed, a smile forming on my face.

He smirked lightly, “I’ll prove it to you one day.”

“I hope you won’t have to.”

“I hope so, too,” Donghae agreed, a tad tiredly.

“Are we supposed to kiss now?” Considering our proximity, it seemed like that was the next step.

He tilted his head, eyelids lowering, “I think so,” he moved past my lips though, speaking close to my ear, “but we’re not very traditional, nor should we be.” And then he pulled me against his body. My fingers curled into his shirt, and I closed my eyes.

“You’re warm,” I mumbled.

“You are, too.”

 


	23. Intermission: Vanishing

 

I’m not an asshole. Everyone has a reason for doing something, even if that reason is as simple as just wanting to do it for kicks. But that’s not why I did it.

Yesung adopted me when I was ten. He and Siwon weren’t yet together, but they were business partners. As a child, I could already tell that they had feelings for one another. I wanted something as special as that. Yesung would give me stories of knights and princesses every night and I read them diligently. Time passed by and I was given stories about revolutions and rebellions for a cause.

The times I wasn’t reading and learning, Yesung taught me about fine dining and business. He showed me how to address people properly, dress for an occasion, and defend myself without weapons. Fire arms would come when I turned sixteen.

At school, I was kept to myself. There was only one person I spoke to. His name isn’t important, not anymore at least. He treated me with respect and affection. As much as Yesung attempted to be a father figure, he would always be more of a mentor. I had never been looked at with so much love.

I had no idea that there was anything like puppy love. That’s what it ended up being though.

When my eighteenth birthday passed by, I was ready to give up the world to be with this person. He made my heart race and when I looked at him, I wanted nothing to do with the world Yesung raised me up in. I had no desire for revolution – not when I had found my safe haven in this corrupt world. Why did I have to care about helping everyone else when they hadn’t helped me?

I finally found a place to belong and turning against the world meant turning against him and our peaceful future.

It wasn’t worth it. I would rather live a lie than pursue a difficult truth.

Yesung disagreed profusely. I was called foolish and at the time I didn’t understand why. Well, he showed me.

Night came one day. Yesung called me to one of their warehouses. I went as instructed and found Yesung with my lover at the time. A gunshot cracked the air. I ducked, hearing it break concrete behind me.

“Shit.”

 That’s what I remembered: that one word full of disappointment and fear. I stood and stared back at him. There was no explanation for shooting at me, but I wanted to hear him tell me something – anything, for his behavior.

Had Yesung told him to do it? Was a gun held to his back? And if there was a gun held to his back, why had he still pulled the trigger?

I was raised to believe that when you find the person you’re meant to be with, their life means more to you than your own. It’s fair. That way, your life is as important as mine. If you love me as much as you should, you would throw your life away for me. If I love you as much as I should, I would make sure your life is never thrown away. We’re supposed to be two sides of the same coin.

“He said if I shot you, he would give me enough money for school and get me a secure job in the future,” he told me hastily.

“That’s all it took?” I asked, leaving the distance between us.

“I wasn’t going to kill you, Hae. I swear. I just need the money and he said he would definitely patch you up afterwards.”

“And what about us?” Stupid question.

He smiled in this deranged way that made me want to— _click…_

I guess that answered that.

For all of my life, I will never forget the silence. Blood trickled from his chest and dribbled from his mouth. There was blankness in his eyes. I should’ve felt bad. I should’ve regretted killing him. How could I though?

“You killed him, Donghae.”

“I know.” Of course I knew. He showed me love. He showed me what it felt like to not be alone anymore. I wanted to be normal. I didn’t want to be a revolutionary if he was willing to let me stay with him.

But why did I have to kill him?

I knew what Yesung was like. If I hadn’t shot him, then he would’ve shot me. I saw it in his eyes. He was ready to kill me for what he wanted. To him, I was a quick fuck and a high school “I love you.” We weren’t ever going to have a happy ending.

No matter what choice I made, it wouldn’t have involved him, because we’re characters of a different story. I’m the boy who changes the world. He was the knight waiting for a damsel. God, I wanted to be the knight. I wanted him to be my damsel and I wanted a happily ever after.

I wish I was joking.

 

Two years later, Yesung and Siwon announced that they would being training Siwon’s successor. I was curious. Who wouldn’t be? After all this time, Siwon had finally found someone worthy of his title. What kind of person would be my partner?

Yesung had told me many times before that it didn’t matter if it was romantic or not. My business partner would be the person who stood beside me through everything. He or She would be the other half of my coin if everything went according to plan. You could imagine how little faith I had in the whole process.

Furthermore, you could clearly _see_ how skeptical I was once Siwon’s successor showed himself.

Kim Ryeowook. The son of an officer would be my partner.

He wasn’t just a son of an officer though; he was also tiny and androgynous. His eyes were dark and large, set in a porcelain face. Every muscle was lean to match his slenderness. If all of that wasn’t enough, his voice was musically high and smooth. I couldn’t take him seriously. I bet if I touched him, he would fly ten feet.

That’s how fragile he was in my eyes.

To make matters even dimmer, this poor boy didn’t even realize he was in love with a delinquent. No. The delinquent didn’t realize he was in love with Ryeowook. They were a pair of idiots obsessed with one another. I studied them for the weeks leading up to Ryeowook’s trial.

The boy, Kyuhyun, seemed to go over to Ryeowook’s house a lot. They had sleepovers from what I could tell. At school, Kyuhyun didn’t make much contact, but it was clear that there was chemistry at all times of the day.

And then Siwon took him to the whorehouse. I downloaded the security video of them. It was a clever plan on Siwon’s part. Once the kid saw his father’s disgusting ways, he would be convinced of the sin of the world. I expected him to cry or beg or something pathetic when he saw the foulness of his parent.

What I didn’t expect was the delicate figure to stand up, draw a knife and stab the monitor. Fuck that was scary. Granted, he puked afterwards, but it was still shocking. I understood what Siwon saw in him then.

There was a silent power behind the pretty face. He sort of reminded me of Yesung: quiet, but effective and strict in his convictions.

I took an interest in him after that. There were cameras set up inside of his home, and although I rarely checked them out, I did that night. Kyuhyun was waiting for him and I watched them dance together in the bedroom. Things escalated and I turned off the camera, not wanting to watch the inevitable.

The next day, Ryeowook came with his luggage. I didn’t speak to him yet, nor did I formally meet him. Siwon was keeping him locked away or running errands.

I kept tabs on Kyuhyun, but mostly I paid attention to Ryeowook’s growth. Little by little, I started wanting to know him in person. What was he like behind the hardworking mask? Did he have a funny, clumsy side?

An answer came one day, though. Yesung told me to come with him and when we arrived, I stepped out to see Siwon coming out of a building with Ryeowook in tow. The face I had seen hundreds of times on camera feeds was finally before me. He met my gaze, but I still couldn’t tell what he was thinking. There were flickers of emotion, but they faded within seconds.

Everything was a flurry of work after that meeting. I expected as much. My assumptions concerning Ryeowook were spot on. It wasn’t that difficult to ascertain what he was like in person after studying him for so long. The first few tests were hard, but it gradually grew worse and ended up pushing Ryeowook to his limits.

That was the point.

I didn’t have any special feelings about dunking his head into a bathtub full of water. If he died, that meant he was stupid and I already knew he wasn’t stupid. That was why I didn’t have to go easy on him. Ryeowook was a fighter. He wouldn’t give in just because the odds were against him.

Love…is probably what you’re thinking right now.

Maybe I did love him, but it was highly unlikely considering how little we knew about each other. Observations and occasional stalking couldn’t show you the person behind the glitz and glamour or dirt and musk.

More weeks passed by in relative quiet. We were diligently working which I had no qualms about. The only real issue had to be Ryeowook’s stubbornness when it came to our assignments. He did as he was supposed to, but the problem was how long it took to break down his walls.

For instance, one of the many torture-resistance missions was to stay chained upside-down for twenty-four hours. If he couldn’t handle it, then he could call the safe word: Daylight. When I underwent the same training, I remember calling out three times in total. He panicked nearly every three hours. I understood him to a certain extent, but it made me wonder what kept him from truly focusing.

I had seen Ryeowook stab the image of his father. He had guts and drive, so if he had the nerve to ruthlessly desecrate his parent in any form, why couldn’t he bring himself to calmly go through training?

Then he started screaming at night.

It didn’t take long until I confronted him and realized what the problem had been from the beginning.

Cho Kyuhyun.

He kept Ryeowook teetering on the edge. Whenever the latter began feeling too far from the past, he turned around and shuffled back. Kyuhyun made him feel like there was a home to go back to. That boy was the reason Ryeowook couldn’t completely give himself over.

So I planned their end. I made sure that things went right and Ryeowook gave up. I needed him to be dedicated to our cause.

And just maybe…just maybe I didn’t want to be alone anymore.

“Why did Yesung and Siwon take Ryeowook? …please, tell me.” That’s what Kyuhyun had begged of me. It was strange to hear someone so weak and desperate. But more than all of that, I felt angry.

I didn’t want to tell him about Ryeowook. They were meaningless to one another those days, so why couldn’t he just be mine? Somewhere along the way, he had become the only person who wouldn’t vanish. I had someone to care for and I wasn’t planning on sharing. So I told him: “I doubt I’m at liberty to discuss these things with an outsider.”

That wasn’t true, of course. Yesung and Siwon liked Kyuhyun.

I kept going though, saying: “Ryeowook is none of your concern anymore. I’ll take care of him from now on. This phone line will go dead, so refrain from trying to call.”

Then I broke the phone. Cho Kyuhyun could have anyone else in the world. His path was filled with encounters. But Ryeowook and I walked the same road, just two vigilantes seeking our own form of justice.

 


	24. Intermission: Admiration

 

I was stunned at first, but then I didn’t know what I felt. A little bit of me was angry and another part was smug. The look on that traitor’s face was great. He hadn’t expected me to be with Kyuhyun and he probably hadn’t expected the kiss either.

Sure, as a rival I held some sympathy for him when it came to Kyuhyun. I mean, I had been in that position before, looking in on the person I love with someone else. But from a completely different perspective, I hated Ryeowook. He was a disgrace to everything that I valued. We stood on opposite ends of a struggle between careless rebels and the established law.

How could someone raised by a law-abiding officer grow up to be the pawn of a goon? No matter how horrible of a father he had, there was no excuse for turning away from the light. I couldn’t respect him and therefore I couldn’t find it in myself to respect him and his decision. Most of all, I couldn’t accept him being anywhere near Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun…was a special case. His actions were cute in a teenage punk sort of way. They made for good after school specials but nothing more and when I looked at Kyuhyun I could already see him reforming as the weeks passed by. He was growing up and away from all of that shit.

Then there was Kim Ryeowook – the boy with an angel’s appearance and a devil’s minion attitude. I knew I wasn’t wrong in my calculations. He had the capability of flying off the handle. No matter how quiet the guy was, I could tell that his personality was far from it. Deep inside, he was bottling up some serious feelings that had to find an outlet eventually. That outlet turned out to be rebellion against the entire order of the world.

When I saw him through that train window, I witnessed everything – the way his dark eyes shattered, the shadows forming around his features, and the melting away of what little grasp on our reality he still held. If I hadn’t been sure before then, I was definitely sure at that moment. He would rise up and he would wreak havoc without a doubt. The scary part was, I had no doubt that he would succeed in whatever ambitious plans he set out to accomplish.

Kyuhyun and I barely exchanged any words for the remainder of the train ride. After arriving, he took a phone call and came back pissed and probably more than a little helpless. It had been heavily masked by his prideful shell, but I could see past it. That didn’t mean I would say anything.

We were met at the station by two well dressed figures. They led us to a black van and when the doors were pulled back, five or so other young adults were inside. I nodded at them, checking on Kyuhyun to see if he was greeting anyone. As expected, he simply climbed in and silently edged to the far window. I sat down beside him, not sure what to do. Being good at analyzing a situation was different from handling a situation well.

“Hey, what’s your name?” The van started moving out onto the road and I turned my head. There was a handsome, dark haired young man sitting in the row behind us. He smiled easily.

“Changmin, you?” I replied.

“Jungmo,” he answered, “what about your friend?” He nodded towards Kyuhyun curiously.

“That’s Kyuhyun,” I said, earning absolutely no reaction from the brooding boy. He didn’t even flinch.

On the other hand, Jungmo nodded understandingly. “So why did you join this project? It’s pretty risky when you think about it.”

He was right. If you failed to pass initial tests and training, then you were immediately removed. There were no second chances in this game. “I don’t plan on being kicked off,” I shrugged, “besides, I didn’t want to be a normal government dog.”

“Is that the same for your friend?”

I was about to answer for Kyuhyun again, but he butted in, saying, “I have a score to settle, so stop asking questions.” He closed his eyes, putting in ear buds.

“Short temper?” Jungmo mouthed.

I shook my head. “Bad day,” I mouthed back.

He nodded knowingly.

“What’re all of you talking about?” a girl’s voice inquired. She had been sitting in the back by herself. At that moment, she came up, sitting down beside Jungmo.

Giving her a once over, I could already see that she had no real intentions of being part of the program. From the looks of it, she was either a planted intelligence agent or someone who was just really stupid and wanted to meet boys. It wasn’t completely unlikely after all, the world had some crazy people.

“Idle chit-chat,” Jungmo replied smoothly, “do you know what the first test is going to be like?”

She sheepishly shook her head no. “Sorry.”

“It’s no big deal,” he laughed, yawning and reclining on the seat. “We’ll find out soon.”

No kidding.

 

Upon arrival, we were pushed into testing rooms. It took roughly two hours to complete all of the written exams and then we had half an hour to lounge while waiting for the results. There were approximately one hundred people in the room. They whispered answers to one another, comparing and re-evaluating helplessly.

Kyuhyun was listening to his music though. People gave him numerous looks, some annoyed, some interested, and a good chunk was sultry. I couldn’t blame them. He was attractive – incredibly, so.

Results were digitally posted on a monitor. Kyuhyun opened his eyes, smirking for a mere second before dropping back to whatever beat he was listening to. To say I was surprised wouldn’t be completely true. He had been an overachiever since I met him, even if that overachievement was being a punk.

The top score belonged to Kyuhyun, followed by some other no names. There were only fifty scores displayed, followed by the announcement: _Only the top fifty advance to the next round. A shuttle waits outside for any eliminated contestants._

In a flurry, we were faced with physical tests. They were simple stamina and strength assessments. I scored higher than Kyuhyun in this category at least. He was somewhere between top ten and top twenty. From that round, only ten were eliminated; probably because physical endurance could be trained more easily than brains.

There was only one more round after that. It was a public declaration of intent. Any number of people could be eliminated from this round, depending on how satisfied the project administrators were with your answer. The first five failed quickly.

“Are you nervous?”

I glanced at Kyuhyun. That was the first thing he had said to me since the train ride. The facility we were in had no natural light, so I really had no idea what time it was, but it felt like that train trip was far away. “No, not really,” I answered.

He sat forward in his chair, hands pressed together. “It’s easy to bullshit this stuff.”

“You don’t think they’re qualified to judge us?”

“Kind of,” Kyuhyun grinned a little, “but it’s more like they want a puppet.”

I wanted to ask if Ryeowook’s vigilante ways were getting to him, but I thought better of it.

“Cho Kyuhyun,” the judge called.

Although it wasn’t me, I still felt on edge. If he didn’t make it, I wasn’t really sure what I would do. He wasn’t the reason I was in the program, but he was a significant part of the future I wanted for myself.

He stepped onto the stage in front of all of us. There were three middle aged agents sitting in a row before him, their profiles to us. I watched the one in the middle lean forward and ask, “Why are you in this program?”

“Because I want to be your puppet,” Kyuhyun deadpanned.

I think I had a tiny heart attack. A ripple of whispers circled through the crowd.

Kyuhyun wasn’t done shocking us though. “I’ll be the best government dog you’ve ever seen, so long as you let me pursue someone.”

“Is it for revenge?” the one on the left inquired, sounding somewhat concerned.

He scoffed, “Please, I don’t need revenge.” Leaning back in his chair, he rolled his neck, saying, “I let someone important walk away, and this program is the best chance I have at bringing him back to my side.”

They were silent, but the inevitable happened. What could I think, but “Damn.”

“Pass.”

 

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

 

“Come with me, I have a surprise for you.” The handsome young man murmured into his lover’s ear. They walked down the street, passed the store fronts towards a rather large building. The lights were low and the lobby was empty aside from a few meandering security guards.

“You have a surprise for me in my own building?” he mused, stepping inside the elevator and wrapping his arms around the taller male’s neck. The doors shut softly and then he was nibbling at that smooth throat. “What’re you up to, Kyuhyun?”

A chuckle sent shudders through his esophagus. Placing his arms on the lean figure’s hips, Kyuhyun pressed his lips to the other man’s ear, “I want to give you something special, Jonghyun. Think of it like a celebration, babe.”

“Anniversary? I didn’t think you were the type,” he scoffed.

Kyuhyun made a noise of disapproval, murmuring, “C’mon, give me some credit,” hands slid underneath his shirt, running up his spine, “I always do romantic things.”

“Like what?” Jonghyun teased, humming softly at the ministrations to his body.

“I comfort you when you’re upset,” he offered, kissing his lover’s cheek, “I take you on dates every month or so…you know, whenever you’re free,” Kyuhyun touched their lips together, “And I make sweet love to you every night,” his voice dropped, fingers reaching up to caress the soft hair at the nape of his neck, “that’s pretty romantic, isn’t it?”

The elevator doors opened on the top floor.

Jonghyun looked up at Kyuhyun with warm eyes that turned hard and cold in an instant. Hands snatched him from behind, dragging him out of the confined area to the sound of trudging feet and commands. An elbow crashed down between his shoulder blades, forcing him to the ground. “What the fuck is this?!” he screamed, struggling endlessly as handcuffs clicked into place.

Kyuhyun cracked his neck, stepping languidly out of the elevator. A smirk curved his lips as he gazed around at the team holding captive so many convicts. “It’s what it looks like,” he snorted, “a bust.”

“What are you talking about?” he spat.

“People told me that my tactic wouldn’t work because criminal masterminds aren’t susceptible to affection,” Kyuhyun stated, leaning back against a wall as handcuffed people were forced into the elevator, “What a load of fucking shit, don’t you think?” He laughed, gazing down at the furious man. “It was too easy. I seriously thought you were gonna pull a fucking gun on me any second, but you were some docile dog these three months.”

“Everyone’s been disarmed and accounted for,” Changmin’s voice called from across the room. He caught Kyuhyun’s eye and nodded.

“Shit’s good,” he yawned, kicking away from the wall. Kyuhyun hooked his arm around Jonghyun’s shoulders, speaking into his ear so no one else could hear, “If it means anything to you, I liked fucking your brains out every night. It kept me entertained.”

“I’m gonna burn you alive for this, Kyuhyun,” he whispered back, coldness entering his voice, “you and the person you love.”

An excited light flashed in the attractive agent’s eyes. “Burning me alive is gonna be hard, sweetheart,” he warned casually, “but even scratching the person I love is gonna be impossible.”

“What makes you so sure?” Jonghyun growled, “You must be underestimating me.”

“You’re smart,” Kyuhyun grinned, “you’ll understand.” And then he pressed the button for the elevator to descend. The doors closed between them, leaving Kyuhyun in the office with Changmin, Jungmo, and another agent named Taemin.

Turning around, he peered at the trio of solemn faces. Changmin lifted up a folder, “We can’t pin him. One of his lackeys got rid of the evidence we needed.”

“Everyone else is still convicted, right?”

“Yes,” Changmin said slowly, “but that’s doesn’t change the fact that Jonghyun walks free tomorrow.”

“We destroyed his main headquarters. Whatever he does now will be minimal – barely above a regular dealer,” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, “If he causes too many problems, I’ll deal with him again.”

“This whole operation was already risky,” his friend complained, frowning, “you’re always playing with fire. It’s been like that for the past year.”

Sighing, he crossed his arms, “Look, I don’t do safety. It’s either you’re in it to succeed, or you’re half-assing. I got my freedom to roam a year ago and I don’t intend to be excessively careful.”

Two years had effectively passed since the beginning of training. It lasted twelve months and for the past year he had been doing mission after mission, praying for one of them to lead him back to Ryeowook. Kyuhyun had little to no idea what was going on with the beautiful boy, but from what he had heard while working with Jonghyun, Siwon was planning to hand his empire over to a mysterious successor in a week or so.

Who else could it be but Ryeowook? After two years of flying under the radar, he would be emerging and Kyuhyun wasn’t sure if he was excited, anxious, or scared. What had happened since that day at the train station? He didn’t think he would be able to handle it if Ryeowook had suddenly become an entirely different person.

“Guys, calm down,” Jungmo butted in, “Kyuhyun can take care of himself. We don’t need to watch his every move. On the other hand, you should think more about yourself Kyuhyun. If things had gotten out of hand with Jonghyun, you wouldn’t have the chance to find the person you’ve been searching for.”

Neither of them said anything to that. It was a settled matter whenever Jungmo opened his mouth. They couldn’t argue.

“Should we get back to HQ?” Taemin chimed in. “They’ll want a full report.”

“Goodie-two-shoes,” Kyuhyun remarked, eyes teasing. He walked to the stairs exit, pushing the door open, “Alright, get going.”

 


	26. Chapter 26

 

For the next week, Kyuhyun was on the edge of his seat, jumping at nearly every news alert. He was dying to hear about the succession, and it just wasn’t coming fast enough. Why did Siwon have to love theatrics so much?

A knock came to his room, jolting him out of his anxious slump. Standing, he went to the door, answering it. On the other side was Changmin. “What is it?” Kyuhyun grunted, stepping aside.

“I figured you would want to know,” his friend shrugged, showing him a digital article.

 

**Press Release**

**Choi Siwon and Kim Jongwoon Transfer Power to Unnamed Successors**

Seoul, South Korea, June 2, 20XX

 

Choi Siwon, billionaire entrepreneur, has decided to retire along with his associate, Kim Jongwoon. They have prepared a short inauguration for their chosen successors today at the Phoenix Hotel and Suites in Seoul, South Korea. No news has been leaked about the heirs, but rumor has it that they are young, handsome, and impressive just like their mentors.

 

Many people have been anticipating the day when these two powerful men would retire and hand over their assets. It is not surprising to learn of the secrecy surrounding the long awaited apprentices. Mr. Choi and Mr. Kim have been known in the past to do unorthodox things to arrive at the most effective solutions.

 

At this moment, no one has voiced outrage, as expected of loyal associates in the empire. Everyone will get their answers soon, though.

 

The ceremony will be open to the public. Those who plan to attend must arrive promptly at one o’clock in the afternoon. If failure to abide by terms, expect zero chance for late entry.

 

**About Choi Siwon and Kim Jongwoon**

 

These two men have been in many fields for the past ten or so years. They are best known for sponsoring new talents who miraculously make it big in their respective industries. Mr. Choi and Kim are world-renowned and at the core of a network of vast connections. The personal lives of these two men have never met controversy, therefore keeping their credit with official organizations. To learn more about Choi Siwon and Kim Jongwoon, visit our newspaper’s website or buy the official biographies of Mr. Choi and Mr. Kim.

 

Kyuhyun tugged on a t-shirt, snatching keys, phone, hat, and sunglasses on the way out the door. Behind him, Changmin trailed along, catching up to the silent, frantic man. “Are you really going down there?” he demanded.

“You’re asking a really stupid question considering you’re the one who showed me the release,” Kyuhyun responded flatly, shouldering the staircase door open and shuffling quickly down the steps.

“Yeah, I showed you because I felt like an ass for not doing that,” he rolled his eyes, the clicking of their shoes and the echo of their voices filling the enclosed space, “Besides, I didn’t think you would actually want to go. Are you really prepared to face them again?” Changmin grabbed Kyuhyun’s wrist, whipping him around on one of the staircase landings.

The dark haired man swung around from the force, staring down Changmin. “Let me the fuck go or I’ll shove you over this railing.” He jerked his arm back, continuing on his way.

“I would’ve held on if you weren’t serious,” he muttered, hurrying after his friend.

They reached the bottom floor, glass paneled doors facing them. Kyuhyun kneed the barrier open, walking through the short entryway towards a second door leading outside. Sun shined down in the late spring day. There were cars parked out on the massive driveway of the company building.

Kyuhyun laughed. “I did push you down a staircase once, huh?”

“You’re laughing, but it wasn’t funny,” Changmin scowled, “I had a bruised ass for weeks.”

It took approximately ten minutes to get into the city from their housing. The organization kept their agents under constant surveillance, providing them with whatever they needed to the point of accessible cars. Kyuhyun wouldn’t complain. He liked having an apartment: bottom line.

“It was just your butt,” he smirked, “nothing that important, so you shouldn’t whine.”

Changmin was going to say something back, but then Kyuhyun was unlocking one of the many discrete black vehicles, climbing into the driver’s seat. There were twenty agents living in that particular housing complex with one car to every two persons. The vehicle Kyuhyun had been given the keys to be shared with Jungmo, who, at the moment was on a mission.

Changmin got into the passenger seat, buckling up as his friend started pulling out. “You’re being crazy, you know that?”

“I’m always crazy,” Kyuhyun answered without missing a beat, “and if I wasn’t crazy, then Ryeowook would’ve already become an obsolete interest.”

They pulled out onto the main road headed into Seoul. There were few cars, but soon traffic would surely increase. It was already half past noon. Changmin watched the scenery pass by, already bored of the hills and open plains. They were beautiful and exotic the first time, but after seeing them every single day, they too were ordinary.

“Let me ask you something.”

Kyuhyun nodded slightly, glancing at the other male.

“What makes Ryeowook so special?” Changmin smiled a little, “It’s a little late to ask, but I’m curious. I figured you just liked him before because he was interesting, but you haven’t seen him in years and you’ve met plenty of people who don’t treat you like a thug. What keeps him at the top of your list?”

“Easy,” he cruised around a bend in the road, headed towards a bridge, “everyone has someone that changes them. There’s no rhyme or reason, it’s just like that.” Kyuhyun leaned back in the leather seat. “Ryeowook accepted me at my worst. He’s at his worst right now, and I don’t plan on casting him aside.”

“And you’re that invested?” Changmin sighed softly, unable to understand his reformed friend sometimes. It didn’t make sense. Kyuhyun seemed to have two faces. Sometimes, he was bright and straight and almost a role model; other times, he was dark, violent, and unpredictable. From what Changmin could see, Ryeowook brought out the blackness in Kyuhyun. He was only ever drowned in those misdemeanors when Ryeowook was involved.

But that was only half the truth. Changmin knew very well that Kyuhyun had an idealized vision of Ryeowook that made him absolutely kind and warm. That was a weird description for the snarky man, yet it was undeniable.

Somehow, Ryeowook could manipulate Kyuhyun without even being present. Quite frankly, Changmin loathed the guy for that. He couldn’t stand Ryeowook’s entire being and it wasn’t simply because in the past two years he had fallen so painfully hard for Kyuhyun.

 


	27. Chapter 27

 

“We have to be on stage in ten minutes,” Ryeowook murmured, hands resting on the chocolate haired man’s broad chest. Lips pressed against his, fingers popping button after button as he pushed the suit jacket and shirt down slim shoulders. “Donghae…really…there’s no…time,” he said softly between kisses, laughing a little when he earned a growl in reply.

Ryeowook smoothed the other male’s bangs across his forehead, brushing his thumb against Donghae’s smooth, supple lips.

“You say that, but we’re always okay in the end,” he argued absently, arms closing around the slender body straddling his lap. Lowering his head, Donghae pressed a kiss to Ryeowook’s chest, nipping lightly at the soft, firm skin.

His breath hitched, fingers curling into the stunningly handsome man’s jacket sleeves. “This is more important than normal,” Ryeowook frowned, pushing away from those wonderful touches. “Besides, we have time later.”

“If you weren’t arguing right now, we would almost be done,” Donghae remarked, eyes glinting with amusement. He leaned forward, pulling Ryeowook towards him. Crushing their mouths together, he swallowed anymore arguments.

Heat bubbled up, enveloping the space around them. Ryeowook tangled his fingers in his lover’s hair, feeling like his body was melting in that strong embrace. It hadn’t been in the plan to fall in love. Well, maybe it had been in someone else’s plans, but Ryeowook didn’t mean to feel anything more than brotherly affection for his partner.

 

_One Year Ago…_

_“I can’t do it. I can’t, Donghae,” Ryeowook dropped the gun, hands trembling forcefully. The bound and gagged man before him twitched, head jerking once, then twice. “I-It won’t…I can’t…hah…,” his breaths came out rapidly, unevenly._

_Donghae dragged the quaking boy out of the room, slamming the heavy metal door shut behind him. The hallway was empty and silent except for their echoes. “Listen to me,” he spoke quietly, calmly. Leaning down, he looked into the horrified eyes of his companion, “Ryeowook, are you paying attention?”_

_“N-No,” he shook his head, crumpling under Donghae’s gaze. Squeezing his eyes shut, he drew in a ragged breath. “I don’t want to do it…I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Ryeowook lifted his hands up, covering his face as tears dribbled down. “I know he’s a bad person…I know that he did those t-things to c-children and w-women…m-men probably, too…b-but I can’t do it.”_

_Warm, strong arms wrapped around him and Ryeowook collapsed into the embrace, crying harder at how childish and weak he was being. They weren’t tears of fear – they were tears of shame. He had promised to do what it took to change the world, yet he couldn’t even eradicate that insect of a man._

_“I’ve told you before,” Donghae cooed in a tender, low voice, fingers brushing over Ryeowook’s hair, “I’ll protect you from it all, even this.” He tilted the boy’s face up, pressing forward until their lips met._

_The touch was cold and unsteady, but burst after burst of heat spread like wild fire across their bodies, drying the tears and sending embers roaring. Donghae hadn’t expected such a sensation – not after knowing what kisses were like. He was no novice in physical affection, so why was a simple kiss lulling him into such a hazy state?_

_When they broke apart, Ryeowook was staring up at him with wide, uncomprehending eyes. Ever so slowly, he reached up, tracing the line of Donghae’s face. Sparks rolled through fingertips, chasing all the way down his spine and back up again. “Why…?” he mumbled nearly inaudibly, head shaking back and forth carefully._

_Donghae pulled back, looking away. “We still have to finish this.” He kept Ryeowook’s hand, lacing their fingers together with ease._

_Entering the room once again, they watched the prisoner flinch and reposition his body on the metal chair. The blindfold kept him from seeing what exactly was going on, but from the language of his figure, it was clear he understood the severity of the situation._

_Picking up the gun, Donghae led Ryeowook around to the back of the seated convict. “Don’t close your eyes, understand?” he whispered to the smaller male. Idling up behind Ryeowook, he leaned over his shoulder, curling their entwined hands up to his lips. Brushing a kiss across the knuckles, he kept their bodies securely together as the gun rose up and clicked into place. “I’ll protect you from bloodshed,” Donghae said softly, pressing on the trigger, “but you call the shots. We do things together,” he explained, tightening his grip on those slim fingers, “So command me, Ryeowook. That’s all you have to do. Remember your part in this.”_

_Softly, delicately, his voice rose in the tense silence. His lips spoke against the knuckles of their interlaced fingers and his eyes stayed painfully open to the moment. “Head.”_

_Donghae’s faint, humorless smile pressed into Ryeowook’s throat as the bullet found its target._

“Five minutes,” a voice called through the door.

Ryeowook was panting more heavily than expected as he pushed away from the smiling, flushed man. “We can finish this later,” he stated, beginning to button Donghae’s shirt back up.

The latter did the same for Ryeowook, sliding the jacket and collared shirt over his porcelain shoulders. “Yes, we will,” Donghae chuckled, kissing him once more on his chest before getting the last button back in place.

“Are you ready to face the audience?” Ryeowook asked, absently running his fingers through the taller man’s hair to try and fix it. He hadn’t meant to muss it up that much. “They might not take us seriously.”

“Then they’ll be sorely sorry when they try to undermine us in the future,” Donghae replied easily, “Sneak attacks are always more fun.” He stood up as Ryeowook slid off his lap. Adjusting his jacket, Donghae began walking to the door.

Ryeowook buttoned his suit, a few steps behind the confident figure. “Fun or effective?” He frowned.

“Everything we do is effective,” he mused, opening the door and holding it for his lover, “whether or not it’s fun.” Donghae smiled, casually touching the small of Ryeowook’s back as they strode down the hall.

“You trust our abilities too much,” he scolded, eyeing the handsome man skeptically.

“I do,” Donghae admitted, “but for good reason. Can you deny that?”

“I can deny that we’re the best tag team.”

“We will be someday then,” he assured, “it’s only a matter of time.”

Ryeowook shook his head, laughing incredulously. “You’re so much like Siwon,” he muttered, “endless amounts of confidence.”

“And you’re like Yesung, you know,” Donghae returned, lips quirking up, “with all of that worrying and intelligent silence. I always wonder what you’re thinking about.”

“You always know what I’m thinking about,” he corrected, “because I don’t hide it from you.”

It probably wasn’t meant to be a pick-up line in that situation, but Donghae found it sweet nonetheless. Perhaps it was a bit petty, but his thought after the initial happiness had certainly been triumph. No one else had earned Ryeowook’s trust like that. Another person on the planet could have been that person, but he fell short and that mere thought made Donghae more than happy.

The stage appeared to the side of them and suddenly they were being ushered towards it. Cameras flashed incessantly and murmurs of surprise and interest rippled through the crowd. There were mainly reporters, but the entire back of the audience was filled with businessmen and some rather shady fellows.

“I will not waste anymore of your time then,” Siwon announced, making a flourish, “My personal successor stands here today under the name: Kim Ryeowook. He is twenty-one and has been studying with me for two years now. I look forward to his progress and achievements. Though you may think it is a joke, this young man is incredibly reliable,” he smiled, “Kim Ryeowook is my true heir.”

More cameras were flashing as the microphone was handed off to Yesung. The normally quiet man spoke up, dark eyes trained and calm, “This,” he indicated Donghae who nodded slightly at the crowd, “is the new holder of my assets. His name is Lee Donghae and he will be beneficial to the future success of my many endeavors.”

“Kim Ryeowook, how did you come to meet Mr. Choi?” a reporter demanded.

Taking the microphone this time, he said, “I misplaced my phone some years ago, and he kindly returned it to me.”

“Lee Donghae, why were you chosen to succeed such a vast empire?”

He placed his hand over Ryeowook’s, not taking the amplifying device fully. “I suppose it has to be because I’m best fit for the position.”

There were soft chuckles from the group of people. Ryeowook couldn’t help a proud smile. Some more questions flew at them with answers flying back at an equally quick rate.

Donghae was feeling rather good about it all, though he had never really felt bad about any of it. As he peered around at the faces in the crowd, he subconsciously searched for the face that he just knew had to be there. It wasn’t a for sure thing, but it was a pretty good guess. Donghae finally spotted him then – even through the hat and sunglasses disguise.

“Lee Donghae, do you have anyone that you would like to get on better terms with for the sake of greater productivity?”

At the back of the room, Kyuhyun leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his body and a deep, firm line that pressed his lips together. Donghae felt their eyes meet through the distance and darkness. With a smile, he winked at Kyuhyun. “No, I don’t think I have anyone in particular that comes to mind.”

 


	28. Chapter 28

 

_“Where do you think you’re going?”_

_“I can’t stay here anymore.”_

_He shook his head, grabbing Ryeowook’s arm. “No, you can stay here. No one’s forcing you to leave, so stay here. Don’t do it again.”_

_“I’ve never done this before…,” he answered, confused. Pulling away, he slipped out of Kyuhyun’s grip. “And I just need to go.”_

_“No you don’t!” Kyuhyun scrambled for him again, breathing a sigh of relief when he caught Ryeowook, dragging him back down to the bed. Holding him tightly, he breathed miserably. “Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being good enough. Don’t leave, though. I need you here. I…” His voice faded in his own ears._

_“You don’t need me, Kyuhyun,” he whispered, tears following the curves of his cheeks. “Stop lying, because I don’t want to be here anymore.”_

 

Kyuhyun’s eyes snapped open, fingers curling around a slender wrist. Standing over him was Taemin, looking scared out of his mind. Forcefully, Kyuhyun released the boy, scrubbing his face roughly with one palm. “What are you doing in my room?” he demanded.

“You’re on the couch, hyung,” Taemin said softly, holding his wrist, “And we’re on a mission.”

“Mission?” he squinted, wracking his brain for some strand of comprehension. Suddenly, it came back to him and he nodded tiredly.

After that escapade with the press conference, he had gone into a blind fit of something that was indescribable. As it happened, Changmin got him immediately to HQ for a new assignment. He was one of the few people that knew there were two reasons why Kyuhyun had joined the agency.

  1. He wanted to find Ryeowook.
  2. He needed an outlet for all of his temperamental emotions. Missions tended to keep him distracted long enough to avoid a violence spree.



So there he was, in one of the agency rental homes in Taiwan. It was a simple two bedroom flat just outside of the city. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep on the couch, and he definitely hadn’t meant to grab Taemin like that, but then again, Kyuhyun was finding that delirium was becoming rather common for him.

When he wasn’t stressed, he was thinking about Ryeowook through dreams, fantasies, idly thoughts…there was no way to escape. It probably hadn’t helped that he saw him for the first time in years barely two days prior.

It would’ve been a bit better for his mind if Ryeowook came out fifty pounds heavier and looking like a snotty businessman. But, of course, he had come out with that same slender body, and those lovely, dark eyes. Plus, who would’ve thought Ryeowook would be so beautiful with dyed hair? Kyuhyun hadn’t been able to decide if he was angry or love struck for the thousandth time with the same man.

“We should head out, right hyung?”

“Yeah, gimme a second,” Kyuhyun nodded. He started walking to his bedroom, calling back “Tell me what we’re doing.”

Taemin followed him, waiting at the entrance to his room as the older male changed clothes. “We’re exploring the city to find out where a prostitution ring is.”

“Prostitution? Is it only that?” Kyuhyun pulled a shirt over his head.

“Well,” the younger struggled to stay focused. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t help noticing how attractive his partner was. How could anyone not take a little interest in Kyuhyun? Of all the agents, he was a threat in all categories, well, except maybe not when it came to infections. Surprisingly, he got many of those.

“Well what?” Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow, walking towards the younger male. “Let’s go.” He nudged past Taemin.

Snapping out of it, he followed Kyuhyun, saying, “They’ve been known for illegally selling people as well. There’s no one with hard evidence and so I guess that’s why they called us in.”

“Do you know how vast their network is?”

“Only in Taiwan,” Taemin responded immediately, “but it’s becoming a problem as they plan to expand. Or at least that’s what we’ve heard.”

They stepped out onto the street, and Kyuhyun braced a hand on the motorcycle parked outside of the building. Swinging one leg over, he pulled on his helmet, nodding to Taemin. The latter climbed on as well, strapping a helmet on.

“We’ll check the markets first,” Kyuhyun stated, revving the engine before pulling out onto the road. Taemin wrapped his arms tightly around the other male’s waist, heart pounding a bit too fast.

 

As expected, there were hundreds of thousands of people roaming around the tightly packed area. Kyuhyun found a rather snug parking spot, rolling in and snapping the stand down. Taking off the protective gear, he tousled his hair, frowning. Behind him, he heard Taemin shifting around, trying to maneuver.

“Alright, we’re going to split up,” Kyuhyun murmured to the younger boy, “meet back here in an hour. If I’m not back by then, head back alone. Got it?”

“What would happen to you?” Taemin blurted, catching his partner’s shirt hem.

“Focus on the mission first and foremost,” he pulled away, disappearing into the crowds.

Taemin sighed, face warming from embarrassment. How could he have said something like that to a higher ranking agent? It had probably come off whiny, or worse, hesitant. Kyuhyun knew what he was doing, so why had Taemin even thought of opening his mouth to say something that stupid?

The market was bustling and around every turn, Kyuhyun gave a sidelong glance to passing alleyways. There were games, conversations, and other ordinary street activities. Nothing appeared particularly criminal – Kyuhyun would know. After spending all that time as a teenager with trash, he couldn’t help but recognize the signs of something going down. Thus far, the atmosphere in each gathering was nothing special.

Passing a news stall, Kyuhyun did a double take, lurching to a stop when he saw the cover of a certain magazine. Ryeowook posed professionally, hands tucked behind his back and a thin smile on his lips. Beside him was Donghae. By the looks of their outfits, it was straight from the press conference.

Flipping it open, he turned to the article and interview. There were more photos of the beautiful young man and Kyuhyun couldn’t help the sting in his chest. One finger found its way onto the glossy page, tracing the lines of Ryeowook’s smooth features.

“It’s cheap, sir. Would you like it?” A rather grimy looking man stated hoarsely. His bloodshot eyes spoke of greed and his slight twitch to unstable activities.

Kyuhyun tossed a few coins at the man, nodding for him to step behind the booth. Quickly, he shuffled to the designated space and Kyuhyun leaned over him, watching the rickety figure hastily counting the money. “There’s more if you tell me about some sales,” Kyuhyun whispered.

“Just that?” he asked anxiously, foot tapping.

“Yup, just that,” he nodded slowly.

Looking around, the man licked his lips, saying in a low voice: “One block, right, right, left.”

“Thanks,” Kyuhyun smiled briefly, dropping several more coins to the ground. Twisting around, he slipped hands into pockets and joined the surging crowd again.

Since that was the only lead, Kyuhyun took it at face value, following the instructions with fluid precision. He took the first designated right and found a long stretch of stalls. There were fruit sales, trinkets, household goods, etc. Kyuhyun took the next available right, seeing the scenery change to a much emptier and dark area. That made more sense.

Kyuhyun looked over his shoulder, trying to decide if he really wanted to head into the darkness. It had been a long time since he went there out of free will and suddenly it didn’t seem like home anymore.

As he pondered this, a shadow flickered in his peripheral vision. Shifting all the way back around, Kyuhyun’s eyes darted around the people, locking onto what he could’ve sworn had to be an apparition or some other crazy induced image.

“I’m going insane,” he breathed, bristling and taking another step forward. In doing so, Kyuhyun peeked back, eyes widening.

A strong hand closed around his throat, slamming him back into an alley wall. Gasping sharply, he winced and gritted his teeth. “Donghae,” he choked, grasping the man’s tense wrist.

Donghae grinned, “What are you doing here, Kyuhyun?”

 


	29. Chapter 29

 

He shoved Donghae back, panting for air as his throat was released. The agile man simply stepped back, smiling and holding his hands up in mock surrender. Closing the gap with ease, he hovered over Kyuhyun, allowing barely a breath to separate them. “So what are you doing here?”

“Where is Ryeowook?” Kyuhyun growled, coughing.

“He’s probably still in bed,” Donghae answered calmly, voice lowering to a murmur, “We had a long night.”

The next second, Kyuhyun was lunging at the man, only to be pushed back. There was a clicking gun and then the air shifted.

Donghae stared down at the skinny boy wielding a weapon. “Your little friend, I presume?” he cocked his head, catching Taemin’s eye, “Youngest of the agency, androgynous features, born Lee Taemin. Am I right?”

Kyuhyun snapped the safety of the gun back in place before the shaking boy could pull the trigger. Wrapping an arm around his partner’s waist, he yanked him backwards, confiscating the gun as well. “Cool it, kid,” Kyuhyun hissed at Taemin while pointing the gun back at Donghae’s chest.

“S-Sorry,” he mumbled, looking down.

“You’re calmer than I thought you would be,” Donghae remarked, leaning back against the opposing alley wall. “Is being a hero that much fun?”

“I don’t remember you being this much of a provoking douche the last time we met,” Kyuhyun replied.

“Maybe love changes people,” his eyes flashed, lips twitching up.

“He doesn’t love you.”

Donghae shrugged casually, “Then tell me why the situation is like this, Kyuhyun.”

“Because you’re a manipulative bastard,” he spat, arm unknowingly tightening around Taemin. The younger fought the urge to voice his pain, confusion and fascination mixing dangerously.

_Bzzt…bzzt…_

The brown haired man checked his phone, lips pursing together. “Looks like I have to head back,” he glanced at Kyuhyun, “see you around.” And then Donghae vanished into the crowds.

Throwing Taemin aside, Kyuhyun tried to rip through the throngs of people, but was jerked back by an incredibly panicked boy. “Let me fucking go,” Kyuhyun pushed at Taemin, struggling to peel him off, “This is my only—”

“—you’ll have another chance!” he shouted over the older man. “Please…it’s not worth it to go against the mission’s orders.”

Kyuhyun searched the crowd with his eyes, slumping weakly when he realized that Donghae was certainly gone by then.

 

***

 

Warm wind rolled through the balcony doors. Ryeowook made a soft noise, rolling over and opening his eyes. There was light coming through the opening, spilling over the bed sheets and sprinkling gold across his bare skin.

The bedroom door opened softly. Sitting up, Ryeowook blinked a few times, smiling as he met Donghae’s warm brown eyes. Silently, he knelt down to kiss his lover. “You slept late,” he whispered, running fingers through Ryeowook’s hair, pushing him back down to the soft sheets.

“Where did you go?” he asked, hands holding the chiseled face.

Flopping over, Donghae picked up the bag he had dropped upon entry and opened it. “Food,” he responded, handing Ryeowook a pastry bun.

“Ah, thank you,” he laughed a little, scooting up to lean back against the head of the bed. “So did you find out anything?” Ryeowook took a bite of the bun, breaking off a bit to feed Donghae.

The latter opened his mouth, taking it and chewing while rummaging for his phone. “Mm,” he nodded, showing Ryeowook the screen.

 

**To: 24336EE**

**From: Withheld**

**10 P.M.**

 

There was a map attached with no written directions of where to go. A simple red line sufficed, though. Ryeowook made a faint noise of understanding, laughing the tiniest bit.

“What are you laughing at?” Donghae prompted, amused. He took another bite of the pastry.

“Clever, that’s all,” he answered vaguely. “What should we do until the meeting?”

“There are plenty of things we could do.”

Ryeowook rolled his eyes, finishing the bun.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone wants to know why "24336EE" makes Ryeowook laugh, it's because "24336EE" spells "Aiden EE" which is the English version of "Lee Donghae"


	30. Chapter 30

 

Taemin had been taught better by everyone. They all gave him pointers about how to deal with Kyuhyun. There were specific guidelines, such as never sneaking up on him. He would probably slit your throat on accident. Another one was questioning his ability in any sense of the word. A strange tip had been to avoid starting a game of Starcraft with him. Apparently there were dire consequences of doing such a thing.

The most common piece of advice though, was to never ask about his personal life. It was no secret that Kyuhyun had come from a rather shady adolescence, nor was it a secret that he rarely rejected physical advances. Behavior like that automatically pinned him as a player, but then why was he like that? No one had ever gotten close enough to find out. The only person that knew anything at all was Changmin and he was as tight-lipped as Kyuhyun himself.

But this was a completely different circumstance. Taemin had witnessed one of the highest ranking agents in his division of rookies stray off track from a mission. What if he hadn’t been worried and failed to follow Kyuhyun? Where would the older boy be now?

And so Taemin had raised himself up, took a deep breath, and asked the dreaded question: “Who was that?”

Kyuhyun looked up from his hodge-podge dinner. Chopsticks hovered in mid air as those dark eyes studied the younger boy. “What are you referring to?”

“Today in the marketplace,” he sighed, “that guy.”

“Haven’t you seen the magazines?” Kyuhyun rolled his neck, “He’s everywhere.”

“I’m sorry, hyung, but you’re being so calm about all of this even though I clearly saw you freaking out,” Taemin said all in a rush, hands curled into fists in his lap. “I know it isn’t my place to get involved with your personal life and I’m not trying to do that, but if it’s affecting our mission then I have to do know what’s going on.”

Kyuhyun seemed thoughtful for a moment, munching on a piece of kimchi. Swallowing he set his chopsticks down and stretched. “You’ve seriously got some balls.”

“Is that a good thing?” Taemin asked quietly, nervously.

“Physically, yes,” he smirked. The boy flushed and Kyuhyun smirked wider. “That man, Lee Donghae, and I have a history. I lost control when I saw him, so for that I do apologize. But I won’t let it affect the mission anymore, rest assured.”

It was probably terrible to be thinking, but Taemin just couldn’t believe that Kyuhyun had talked his way around his personal life. He had expected something – at least a short anecdote about the relationship. But, no, of course not: it was Cho Kyuhyun. He had a knack for slipping in and out of verbal conversations.

“Anyway, I still have a lead on the whereabouts of the group. Their main base is near that alleyway we got stuck in.” Kyuhyun picked up the utensils again. “Did you find out anything?”

“I passed by a few junkies,” Taemin explained, “and they were talking about midnight auctions. I’m guessing that it probably has something to do with the slave sales.”

Glancing at the clock, Kyuhyun read seven o’clock. “We’ll head out to their base at ten. They should be most actively preparing between eleven and twelve. It’ll give us a chance to understand how their auctions work.”

“Are we just scouting?”

“Do you plan on taking them down with just the two of us?” Kyuhyun cocked an eyebrow. “You were gutsy earlier, now you’re spouting utter idiocy.”

Taemin cast his eyes down. “Sorry.”

 

As ten approached, they headed out of the housing complex. In the few hours they had beforehand, Taemin had thoroughly researched Lee Donghae. At first, he had thought Kyuhyun was probably exaggerating about the man’s fame, but it was nearly embarrassing that Taemin hadn’t known who he was.

Lee Donghae was literally everywhere. Just recently, he had even taken over a major corporation with his business partner.

They headed back into the city, blending into the night life just as they had done during the day. It was easier to move around in the darkness though, what with people absorbed in their own business and desperately avoiding eye contact with anyone who might be on the bad side of society.

Kyuhyun led the way confidently and quietly, making no unnecessary movements that might draw attention. Rounding a second corner, Kyuhyun put a hand up, stopping Taemin. They moved behind a wall, watching for any sudden movements.

“We’re turning left,” Kyuhyun spoke against the boy’s ear, “but that’s probably the entrance.”

“Where should we go then?” He fought the shiver from the deep, smooth voice speaking to him from so close.

Kyuhyun pointed over head. Looking up, Taemin saw the edge of the rooftop and gulped. “Scared?” the older male teased, pushing away and climbing the pile of crates stacked on the opposing alley wall.

“No,” Taemin mumbled to himself, watching anxiously as Kyuhyun leapt with ease from crate to crate.

Soon, he reached the highest one, grabbing onto the ledge of a building and swinging himself over. Leaning back over the edge, his silhouette made a signal for wait and Taemin rocked back on his heels, stomach twisted in an uneasy knot. The next second, he watched a shadow soar across the distance between the two roofs.

A rope unfurled from the top, shaking for Taemin to grab. The boy quickly did so, scaling the wall in a matter of second. When he neared the top, Kyuhyun caught his wrist, dragging him the rest of the way over.

“Insane…,” Taemin breathed, shaking his head.

“Just wait until you’re the one helping your junior up,” Kyuhyun ruffled the boy’s hair. “C’mon, we don’t have much time.” He adjusted the gun strapped to his leg and continued towards the door of the roof.

Getting up, Taemin hurried after Kyuhyun.

Picking the lock, the older agent carefully pushed it open, surprised at the lack of an alarm. Kyuhyun backed up, scrutinizing the situation. That wasn’t right. They had to be missing something.

“It’s already been disarmed, hyung.”

“What?”

“Look,” Taemin pointed at the broken security camera, “whoever did that probably messed up the entire system.”

“Who would’ve broken in before us?” Kyuhyun muttered, slowly gripping the handle and pushing into the building.

Just as Taemin had said, there was no one coming. The lights were low in that part of the facility, all security cameras shut off or somehow malfunctioning. It wasn’t until they reached the underground levels that security came back on.

Kyuhyun had peeked into the first lower level, finding fully operational cameras and guards. Well, at least they knew they hadn’t gone to the wrong place now. Waving Taemin back, Kyuhyun considered his options as he was slinking back into the darkness beneath the staircase.

They could head back for the night and devise a way to get through security. They could call for back up and risk the possibility that this wasn’t the correct facility. Or, they could go ahead with the plan and put the operation at risk for complete failure.

“Shit,” he cursed, “we’re retreating for now.”

Taemin nodded.

Just as they stepped out of the shadows, the barrel of a gun leveled with his forehead. Kyuhyun froze, eyes flitting back and forth between Taemin and the two guards. Neither said anything, instead, they grabbed the captives, forcing them through the doors of the first lower level.

“Don’t say a word,” Kyuhyun mouthed, closing his hands into fists.

 

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

 

They trudged down several hallways, probably to confuse the pair. Kyuhyun had been keeping track though, finding the facility to be much smaller than he imagined. Then again, the last corrupt group he had dealt with was on a bigger scale than some human trafficking deal.

Finally, they came to a stop outside of a metal door. The guards patted them down, confiscating their weapons before shoving them into the room.

Kyuhyun crashed to the ground, swallowing a grunt of pain. A few feet away, Taemin groaned, rolling onto his side.

“Boss, we found these two outside of the Level 1.”

“Why didn’t you kill them on sight?” a rough voice shouted.

“We thought you’d wanna interrogate them,” one of the guards mumbled. He started pulling out his gun.

“Don’t shoot them now,” the leader snorted, “get out. It’s already too late.” He waved the oaf off, rubbing his forehead tiredly. The door slammed shut. “I’m sorry about that, they’re fuck ups, but they’re manageable and stupid.”

“No problem,” Kyuhyun mused, getting to his feet. Taemin was doing the same a ways off.

The boss turned to look at the black clad spy. “Shut your mouth, bastard. I wasn’t talking to you.”

Turning his head a bit, Kyuhyun saw a business man sitting across from the dealer. He seemed to be handing over wad of cash. The boss waved his hand and from the shadows came a chained and naked woman. Her eyes were cold and hollow, skin pale and scrubbed clean. Each step seemed to weigh on her and every breath made her visible ribcage shudder.

Kyuhyun took an involuntary step, but stopped as a knife tip pressed into his lower back. Backing down, he raised his hands up in surrender, feeling the knife let up slightly.

“Nice doing business with you again,” the man chortled as the woman was handed off to the client. Without a word, he passed by Kyuhyun and Taemin, chains jingling as the girl fumbled to keep up.

Forcing the rising bile down, Kyuhyun glowered at the dealer. Glancing over at him, he tucked the money away and nodded for the guards to lead Kyuhyun and Taemin closer. Kicking the pair to their knees, they chained their hands together behind their backs.

“Be happy that you only walked in on a minor client,” his face was twisted in annoyance, “if they hadn’t gone off for a tour, I would’ve shot you dead on sight. Those buffoons never think to knock first.”

“So we get to die because of their incompetency?” Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow.

“No, you die for being so incompetent as to get caught,” he sneered. “Who are you working for?” He demanded without preamble.

Neither of them answered.

The boss ground his sole into Kyuhyun’s shoulder, shoving him backwards into the hard, cold ground. “I asked: who are you working for?”

“None of your business,” he said between carefully taken breaths.

“If it’s none of my business, let me kill you now.” The sound of a gun filled Kyuhyun’s ears as if he was drowning. Closing his eyes, he wriggled up to a kneeling position.

“An extermination agency,” Kyuhyun responded, hoping that would suffice.

The man didn’t seem to buy it, fingering the trigger. “Try again.”

He scrambled for an acceptable excuse, heart beating faster as he stared down the gun. Nothing came to mind. Fuck.

“Stand down.”

The room quieted. Taemin’s head whirled around, eyes widening as he saw the man from earlier, Lee Donghae, coming inside. In front of him was a shorter, petite young man with dark brown hair. His cheekbones were high and his eyes were a lovely dark shade.

Taemin turned to Kyuhyun, breath catching when he registered the other’s expression. He looked suffocated and relieved, broken and put back together. There seemed to be words daring to burst from his mouth, but struggled to get past his lips. Taemin cleared his throat, watching Kyuhyun snap back to attention.

“A-Ah, Mr. Kim, Mr. Lee,” the gun dropped from Kyuhyun as the man bowed low, “I didn’t think your tour would be done so quickly. Please excuse me for this unsightly situation.”

Ryeowook gazed at Kyuhyun who returned it pleadingly. There was a silent, disconnected argument raging between them, but all Taemin could decipher was the humiliating fact that Kyuhyun was losing. The slender young man broke eye contact, resting his watchful gaze on Taemin next. It was brief and absent, as if there was nothing to see when he looked upon him.

“We’ll take them,” Ryeowook murmured.

“Excuse me?” the dealer blinked, surprise evident. “But…why would you want them?” His beady eyes narrowed in silent question.

Ryeowook pressed his lips together, head shaking the tiniest bit. “Thigh.”

“What—?” He was interrupted by a shattering bullet and a thick groan. Frantically, he backed away, eyes large with fear.

Kyuhyun’s jaw slackened, face frozen as he watched blood dribble from the wound in Taemin’s leg. Smoke rose up in the dim light, clouding overhead. “What…,” he trailed off, looking up at Donghae, “why—”

“Shut up before I shoot you, too,” he cut off, leveling the gun with Kyuhyun’s head.

“I’ll take them,” Ryeowook repeated, turning to the dealer for objections.

“O-Okay,” he nodded hastily.

Tilting his head slightly, he directed Donghae to get the wounded boy. Unchaining him, he threw Taemin over one shoulder, winding the long chain around his knuckles to force Kyuhyun to his feet.

“We’ll be back tomorrow evening,” Ryeowook stated quietly, turning away and leaving.

Donghae led the two prisoners along behind him. Guards escorted them back up to the main ground level, waiting until their car came to pick them up. In that short duration, not a word was uttered. Kyuhyun couldn’t keep his off of Ryeowook though, and received several deliberately rough jerks on the chains binding him.

“Have a nice night, sir,” the guards bowed, not lifting their heads until after Ryeowook had slipped into the darkness of the backseat.

Taemin was thrown in next, crashing into the floor of the roomy space. The chain rattled as Donghae tossed it in, kicking Kyuhyun face first into the car. Stepping inside next, the door shut.

The atmosphere should’ve calmed, but if anything it grew tenser. Taemin gripped his bleeding leg tightly, fingernails smeared with the dark liquid. When the car rolled forward, Kyuhyun was already untangling the metal biting his wrists and finding his way over to help his partner to a sitting position.

Kyuhyun stared across the distance at them. “What the hell is going on?”

 


	32. Chapter 32

 

“You’re being pitied,” Donghae responded with an arm slung across the back of the seat, fingers brushing Ryeowook’s shoulder, “That should be clear, right?”

Kyuhyun stared at the other male, uncomprehending. Pitied? Why would they save them out of pity? Or rather, why had Ryeowook chosen to save them? It was clear that Donghae was separating himself from the decision to act as hero. Glancing at Ryeowook, he tried to garner an answer, but the slender figure was gazing out the window.

“Why were you there?” Taemin winced, biting back the shivers of pain.

“Same reason as you,” Donghae shrugged, “we’re shutting them down.”

“That seems oddly good,” Kyuhyun scoffed.

Ryeowook’s hand twitched; an action that didn’t go unseen by the spy. Another action that didn’t go unseen was the slow arm that closed around Ryeowook’s shoulders. Donghae kept the distance between them small, every movement careful and natural.

From an outside perspective, Taemin was at a loss. He could clearly tell that Ryeowook was Donghae’s property, but what he couldn’t comprehend was the disdain on Kyuhyun’s face. Why was he so upset at seeing Donghae with someone else? Could they have something going on? Or wait, Taemin blinked a few times, feeling dizzy as he lost more blood. There was a very obvious fact he was missing, but at the moment it just wasn’t happening.

“We’re here,” Donghae remarked, just as the car came to a stop and the door was opened for Ryeowook.

The latter stepped out wordlessly, shoes tapping on the concrete with every step away. Donghae climbed out next, waiting for the pair to pull themselves together. Kyuhyun half-carried Taemin, who was limping and covered in blood. It wasn’t the best sight, but it probably could’ve been worse. At least the wound wasn’t fatal.

Kyuhyun slowly shuffled to the door held open for them by a suited guard. Inside, the air conditioning was refreshing after the stuffy heat. Taemin breathed unsteadily beside him, his lame leg sliding across the sleek tile heavily.

“Here,” Donghae pushed a door near the garage open.

Without argument, Kyuhyun helped Taemin inside. There was a doctor standing at attention, as well as a variety of medical supplies. A metal table rested to one side and Kyuhyun quickly led Taemin over, laying him down on the operating surface. “It’ll be okay,” he whispered to the boy before backing up.

Taemin simply nodded, closing his eyes.

“We’ll inform you when he’s stable again,” the doctor bowed his head, walking them back to the door.

Donghae said nothing, leaving with Kyuhyun a few steps behind. The office door shut in the distance as they travelled further into the facility. “So why did you save me?” he prompted, stopping in the middle of the corridor.

Slowing down, Donghae turned around, smiling humorlessly. “You think I saved you?” He paused, giving Kyuhyun a long look before continuing, “He acted on his own.”

“Out of pity?”

“I would hope so,” Donghae mused, “But hope and reality don’t often correlate, I’ve found.”

“You’re admitting a serious insecurity,” Kyuhyun slid his foot forward.

“There’s nothing to hide from you,” he replied, eyes dark and emotionless, “It’s not like I could even feign confidence in a situation like this.”

“Why did you take him?”

Donghae smiled a little. “Don’t get ahead of yourself,” he twisted around, beginning to walk again, “Come.”

They entered a room some ways down the hall and after a turn or two. Kyuhyun closed the door behind him, lifting his head in time to see Ryeowook turn away from a window. It really was impossible. Kyuhyun couldn’t get beyond how beautiful he was in person. The years hadn’t done a thing to Ryeowook, except maybe bless him.

Thinking beyond his outer appearance meant opening a box of serious pain and mental blockage. There was no way Kyuhyun would tear it open.

“Your agency wants the group to disappear, and so do we,” Ryeowook spoke clearly, coldly. His eyes stayed far away, hands tucked inside his pockets as he stood across the room from Kyuhyun. “Without us, you have no other chance of getting on the inside. Therefore, for the benefit of us both, it would be best to team up.”

“There’s no reason to do something like that when you’re clearly in control of the situation,” Kyuhyun answered with confidence he hardly knew of. Whatever crap he was spewing definitely wasn’t processing beforehand.

Ryeowook’s eyes flickered over to him. “It’s not a matter of centralized power. It’s to achieve a goal that most benefits the world. Do you have a problem with that?”

“I have a problem with working with you.” _Fuck, fuck, fuck what shit are you saying? Of course you want to work with him. Why are you being such a stupid fuck?_

Behind him, Donghae stifled a laugh, arms crossed over his chest, smirk on his lips. Kyuhyun ignored the appearance, looking away from the two people in the room.

“…Then will you go back to your agency and tell them you failed because of personal reasons?” Ryeowook kept his distance, but the mere tone of his voice reached across the distance, wrapping around Kyuhyun like a lukewarm towel.

“I’d rather do that then work with you.” _My lord, you’re an idiot. What are you doing? This is ridiculous. Pull it together and tell him what you really want to say._ “A runaway will never be trustworthy.” _Nice going, fucker._

“You don’t have to trust me,” Ryeowook replied calmly, “but all of that happened a long time ago. Take this opportunity or else you’ll never succeed in your mission.” He turned around, fully facing Kyuhyun then. There was a firm glow in his eyes, keeping them alive and calculating. “Don’t make another mistake.”

“ _Another_ mistake?” Kyuhyun repeated, “And what does that mean?”

“If we hadn’t come to save you and your partner, there wouldn’t even be a second chance,” he retorted, voice steady.

“No one told you to save me,” he snapped, “so don’t even begin to lecture me.”

Donghae sighed, kicking away from the wall and walking to the door. “I’m going to check on Lee Taemin. Come to a decision by the time I come back or I’m ending this.” He shut the door upon leaving.

The room silenced. Kyuhyun immediately closed the space between them, crushing Ryeowook’s slight frame against his body. Pants rose from his throat, burning his lungs and bringing tremors to his limbs.

“You’re really here,” he crumpled, voice barely above a whisper, “Oh my god, you’re here…” Kyuhyun closed his eyes, seemingly never planning to let go of Ryeowook.

“Let go of me.”

“Why?” Kyuhyun demanded, feeling the small body flinch in his arms. “I…I’ve waited so long. I’m not going to let go.”

Ryeowook sighed softly, his tone gentler this time, “Let go.” Bringing his hands up to Kyuhyun’s waist, he pushed at him, murmuring “You heard Donghae.”

“What? He’ll end things? Good, then you can end things,” Kyuhyun shook his head, unable to get enough of Ryeowook.

“No,” his voice was tight, “He’s going to put a bullet through your head if we don’t come to a decision.” That loosened the grip up significantly. Ryeowook managed to lift his head up to look at Kyuhyun. There were conflicting emotions reflected in both of their gazes, but neither addressed them. “Say yes, or you’re going to die tonight.”

“....can I just ask you something?” Kyuhyun brushed the back of his hand across Ryeowook’s cheek.

Silence.

“…why him? Why did you leave?”

Ryeowook’s gaze was unwavering as he managed to unhook Kyuhyun’s arms from around him. “It wasn’t him. I need to express my vision of justice. This is the path I chose.” Backing towards the window, Ryeowook closed his eyes tiredly, “Say yes. I can’t stand to see your corpse.”

“Is that why you saved me back there?” Kyuhyun questioned faintly.

“Among other things,” he answered.

“Fine,” Kyuhyun stepped back as he heard the door opening. Donghae appeared on the threshold, Taemin at his side. “I’ll help you.”


	33. Chapter 33

 

“Why Kyuhyun?” Donghae braced himself above Ryeowook, face contorted with an exclusively shown emotion. His hair was damp from the shower, body glistening under the shimmering light of the moon. “Why must it be him?” The muscles in his neck twitched with the clenching of his jaw.

Ryeowook pushed himself up onto his elbows, pressing an urgent kiss to the man’s lips. They collapsed into a heap, Donghae rolling onto his back as Ryeowook lied on top of him. “It isn’t him…not really at least,” he said quietly, “it could’ve been anyone.”

“But it’s him,” Donghae held either side of his lover’s face, eyes strained, “and he’s not giving up. You know that too, don’t you?” He gasped softly, body jerking up at the fingers running over his skin.

“That’s his fault,” Ryeowook spoke against the other’s lips, thumb pressing against Donghae’s chin. “He can chase for as long as he wishes…but it won’t make any difference.” _I won’t let it make any difference. It isn’t about how I feel for him._

“I know you,” Donghae pinned the slender male down on the bed, an urgent kiss crushing the space separating them. Ryeowook gripped the taller one’s arms, back arching off the sheets. “Kyuhyun is your weakness,” he breathed hotly, curling his fingers into the hair at the nape of Ryeowook’s neck, “Deny it?” Teeth grazed the smooth, thin throat.

“You know me too well” was all Ryeowook could say as he moaned for the man above him.

“Will you waver?” Donghae sat back, sliding his arms around the smaller male’s waist to drag him along. Ryeowook kept his hands tightly clasped around his lover’s neck, resting his forehead against Donghae’s as they stared each other down.

“Never.” _I will never waver in my mission. …But to waver for Kyuhyun…is a completely different question._

 

***

 

 “Can you walk?”

Taemin nodded a bit, closing the apartment door behind him. “No vitals were hit and the bullet didn’t penetrate too deeply into the skin.”

“As in it wasn’t lethal?” Kyuhyun mumbled.

“Do we have to talk about that?” Taemin sighed, leaning against the wall for support. “I know I shouldn’t be prying, but…”

Sitting down on the couch, Kyuhyun leaned his head back, moonlight outlining his form in the darkness. There was some cool wind rustling the balcony curtains and running through the stray, dark locks of Kyuhyun’s hair.

“A few years ago,” he spoke quietly, “I had a thing with that man, Ryeowook.” Kyuhyun’s eyes opened, gleaming in the blue light. “We slept together after I realized I had fallen in love with him.” He paused, smirking bitterly, “I remember thinking that love didn’t exist. Apparently I hadn’t been paying much attention to myself.” Exhaling, he swallowed thickly. “The next morning, he wasn’t there anymore. The last time we saw each other was on a train. I left for the agency training camp with Changmin and Ryeowook…he was standing on the platform watching me leave. I tried to get back to him, but it didn’t work, obviously.” Kyuhyun looked out the glass pane of the balcony’s ajar doors. “There’s a lot of shit that happened in between those two times, but it’s not important…or maybe it is. I don’t know.”

Taemin stood where he was quietly, fingers gripping the wall tighter than he was aware.

“I thought that when I saw him again, there would be a fuck load of drama. You know the music and the slow motion movements and all of the other special effects you see in movies and TV shows. But…it wasn’t like that at all.” Kyuhyun laughed, short and harsh, “He was so fucking calm and…I was so pathetic. I thought he might be a little shocked to see me – maybe even stunned. What I didn’t expect was a stone cold business proposition.” He groaned, lips curling up in a pained smile, “I’m so embarrassed. What am I supposed to do?”

“Hyung…,” Taemin whispered, making his way over to the older male with tentative steps, “…it’s been a long time since you’ve seen him. It makes sense that things are going to be…unpredictable. A lot can change in that time, right?” He sat on the edge of the couch.

Kyuhyun tilted his head away, face unseen from that side of the furniture. “Then why haven’t my feelings changed? Why is he lucky enough to move on?”

“Maybe it’s because he was the one that left.”

“And that’s a fact which is going to make me feel less lame?” He looked at Taemin.

“No, hyung,” he stopped himself, recollecting his thoughts before going on, “I mean…I don’t have an answer for you…but I’m here…if you need me.” Taemin fiddled with his hands, eyes cast down.

Kyuhyun’s gaze burned into him, but it took nearly a minute before he was brave enough to lift his head. There was blankness to his face as he raised a hand, making the slightest of movements. Taemin obediently moved forward, barely thinking of his actions.

 

The next moment he was lifting his arms up for Kyuhyun to pull his shirt off. Hands that he had fantasized about for months were suddenly touching him, exploring every curve and sensitive spot in order to draw moans and soft pleasured noises.

Kyuhyun didn’t utter a word though as he popped the button of Taemin’s pants, removing them as the younger male pulled at his shirt. Rolling his shoulders, the material slipped away, thrown aside. No kisses were exchanged, replaced by rough caresses and bite marks.

“This doesn’t mean anything,” Kyuhyun breathed against the boy’s ear as he moved atop him, arms bracing his thighs gingerly.

“I know,” Taemin managed between uneven breaths. He dug his fingernails into Kyuhyun’s shoulders, biting down on the man’s collarbone to subdue a cry of passion.

 _Nothing at all..._ Closing his eyes, Kyuhyun tightened his hold on the boy.


	34. Chapter 34

 

An hour past twelve the next night, Kyuhyun travelled through the corridor of Donghae and Ryeowook’s headquarters. There was a guard accompanying him to the designated room, just as there had been a security person that came to pick him up from his apartment. Taemin was a few steps behind, relying on crutches to support his weight while the wound was still fresh.

“Are you sure they’re back already? I thought the auctions started at midnight.”

Kyuhyun glanced at Taemin before striding into the provided room. Waiting until the boy appeared in the doorway, he said, “I’m not sure, but my guess is that they didn’t stay for the auctions tonight.”

“That’s a good guess,” Donghae remarked, coming up behind Taemin.

The boy jumped, hurrying to get out of the way. Kyuhyun grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards the couch. With some fumbling grace, Taemin landed himself a seat, setting the crutches aside with difficulty.

Ryeowook appeared behind Donghae, hands in his pockets, eyes far away. He took a seat across from the opposing pair, crossing one leg over the other. Kyuhyun stared at him openly, but with a certain subdued heat that did very little to bother Donghae. So long as he wasn’t burning with desire or anything, the man would let it pass.

As for Taemin, he couldn’t stop watching Kyuhyun. Now that he had a better idea of their history, he saw what others were probably missing. The expression that haunted Kyuhyun the previous night was back on his face, but much quieter and better masked now. Taemin should’ve been hurt at the affectionate gaze, but he couldn’t help but become further enraptured by Kyuhyun for his inexplicable loyalty. This man had been waiting for the same person since two years ago, and continued to wait.

So…why weren’t they together? What force pulled them apart some pitiably? Two people who were meant to meet again and again on opposing sides…why did they have to fall in love?

“There’s a large gathering in three days time,” Ryeowook stated, “high and low ranking members of the ring will be there for the biggest sale of the year. It would be best to trap them then and take down as many as possible.”

“What should we do?” Kyuhyun questioned.

Donghae fiddled with a trinket on the table between them. “You’ll be part of the extermination. Isn’t that obvious?”

“What’s our exact job?” he sighed.

“Call in backup and have them clean up the mess. Simple,” Donghae let his head fall to one side, eyes lidded. “We’ll take care of the rest.”

“Then you expect us to take custody of all the victims? We’re the pity party?” Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow.

A smile twitched on the other man’s lips. “When you put it like that, it’s excessively demeaning.”

“No matter how you put it, it’s demeaning,” he scoffed, “Don’t you realize already that it’s a pain in the ass for us to work together? And now you’re expecting us to be your clean-up crew?”

Ryeowook cleared his throat, drawing the attention of the group. “Take custody of them, or we’ll get rid of them using our own means,” he offered, “It’s your choice.”

“That’s not a choice!” Taemin blurted, covering his mouth the next second. Looking down at his lap, he tried to calm his racing heart, unable to grasp the outburst. Why had he said that just now? It kept replaying in his mind, frantically spinning in circles. “Uhm,” he began quietly, “I mean…”

Kyuhyun rubbed his forehead uneasily. He said nothing though, deciding to let the newbie figure out how to get out of the situation himself. Helping cover up his mistakes wasn’t part of the job.

“It’s always a choice,” Ryeowook responded precisely, “your moral system was a choice; so if you feel that there is no choice then the choice should be clear.”

Taemin said nothing this time, biting his lip.

“I’ll make a few calls tonight,” Kyuhyun stated, “We’ll have a full unit here by the operation.”

“How can we trust you?” Donghae smiled simply, eyes filled with challenge.

“How can I trust you?” Kyuhyun shot back.

“I don’t think it’s possible for you to take the chance of going it alone.”

“I could drop the mission and claim your takeover of the case.”

Donghae chuckled, “That’s true. But what will you do about the effect of that honesty? Won’t your agency see it as a failure on your part to take both us and the slave ring out at the same time?”

“Maybe,” Kyuhyun responded, “but at least then I’ll know what I’m getting myself into.”

“Taking risks is part of the business.”

“That’s the only thing our businesses have in common.”

Taemin stared in awe at the banter, trying to keep up with the shifts and the unspoken words. There was so much more to their conversation, and yet he couldn’t seem to grasp half of it. Glancing at Ryeowook, he saw the man avoiding the topic. Taemin hardly thought he wasn’t catching on. If anything, he was probably a major part of the allusive words and phrases.

“We’re done for the night,” Ryeowook murmured, standing up. “We will trust you to do as you’ve said. A car is waiting outside.” He began walking to the door where a guard opened it for him, waiting patiently for Kyuhyun and Taemin to get up as well.

Donghae followed after his partner, only to be stopped by Kyuhyun.

“Aren’t you at all concerned?”

There was a long pause before Donghae replied, “I am constantly concerned about a number of things. Don’t put yourself on too high of a pedestal.” And then he was gone.

Kyuhyun handed Taemin his crutches, muttering rather absently, “Dipshit.”

 

“Do you really trust them?” Donghae lounged on the couch of one of their private offices. A digital blue print of the dealer’s base was projected on a table in the middle of the room. Ryeowook stood over it, sipping a glass of wine.

He shook his head in reply, making a slow circle around the blueprints. “All of the cameras were disabled tonight, correct?”

“Yeah,” Donghae nodded, “If you don’t trust them, then why are you putting so much faith into their independent promises?”

Ryeowook squinted at a particular spot on the projection. “There’s a secret entrance here. It would be a good escape route in case of a discrepancy. We’ll need to post a guard there.” He glanced at Donghae, adding, “It’s not a matter of putting faith in their assurances. Whatever they decide to do will matter very little.”

“And why do you say that?”

“Because we initiate the plan tomorrow night,” Ryeowook replied, resting a hand on the edge of the table. “The agency’s forces will arrive to clean up just as instructed.”

Donghae laughed, head thrown back. “I should’ve known…you really are Siwon’s apprentice.” He waved Ryeowook over, a warm gleam in his eyes. With a faint sigh, the slender male strode over to him, smiling a little. “Let me see if I got this right,” Donghae placed his hands on the other’s hips, pulling him closer.

“It’s not a difficult deduction,” Ryeowook mused.

“I was wondering what you were thinking when you told them to join us. I thought perhaps it was surveillance, but I started to wonder if that was really true when I considered what Kyuhyun means to you.” Donghae tugged the man down to his lap.

“This is my mission,” he remarked, “I wouldn’t jeopardize it because of an old relationship…or whatever you would call that.”

“Do you think they’ll try to undermine the operation?” Donghae questioned softly.

Ryeowook set the glass of wine aside, draping his arms around his lover’s shoulders. “In two days…that’s the soonest they would be able to disrupt our plans. It’ll already be too late by then.”

 


	35. Chapter 35

 

_Kyuhyun ran through the rain, breathing harshly and fighting against the urge to rip his own hair out. Bangs were plastered to his forehead, obscuring his already heavily obscured vision. Cursing over and over again, he skidded around a corner, hurrying through the grey of early evening._

_“Ryeowook!” he shouted, clothes weighed down by water. Shoes squeaked with every step, heaving out buckets of water with every shuddering step. “Ryeowook, where are you?” Kyuhyun screamed._

_Suddenly, his phone was buzzing and he reached into his pocket, pulling it out._

_“Go away,” the voice said._

_Kyuhyun slowed down, finding shelter beneath the lip of a store front. “Where are you? Just tell me and I won’t tell your dad.”_

_“I don’t want you,” Ryeowook croaked, the sound of rain breaking up the connection._

_“Shut up and tell me where you are,” Kyuhyun raked fingers through his drenched locks. “Tell me or I’ll never stop searching. I’ll look for you until I die and you’ll be responsible.”_

_There was no reply, but then Ryeowook was crying – sobbing, really. Kyuhyun’s heart quickened as he slowly stepped out into the rain again, barely hearing the thunderous downpour. Turning around, he peered through the haze of drops towards the dead end alley._

_Closing the phone, Kyuhyun strode with measured steps. He dropped his arm, face expressionless as he approached the boy huddled near some trashcans. Tears were lost in nature’s wails on his soft, smooth skin._

_Too much anguish…loneliness…desperation bubbled in his wet eyes. Those gently speaking lips trembled, knees pulled up to his skinny body. Arms wrapped protectively around his knees, hair dripping down the slopes of his face. Kyuhyun felt that image engrave itself into his mind – not because it was tragically beautiful. No, rather, it was because he only then realized how closely he related with a boy so different._

_Falling to his knees, he pried Ryeowook’s arms aside, wrapping him in a tight hug. There was no fight left as sobs wracked the slender boy and he clung onto the chilled body trying to warm him. “Don’t worry,” Kyuhyun whispered into his damp neck, fingers curled into Ryeowook’s shirt, “I understand…so I’ll be here…I promise.”_

_“I hate…I hate it…,” he shut his eyes, words broken in stutters, “I-I don’t want to b-be alone anymore. He’s n-never there…no o-one is ever there.”_

_Kyuhyun pulled back, leaning his forehead against Ryeowook’s. Their lips touched in the cold rain, brief and absent. “I’ll be around,” he promised, “Even if he’s not there, I’ll keep you company, so don’t cry anymore…I can find you even when you run away.”_

_Ryeowook sniffled, shutting his eyes as the tears continued to fall. He said nothing, only nodding and pulling himself against Kyuhyun’s body again._

Opening his eyes, Ryeowook gazed out at the landscape. There were stars twinkling above and a quiet haven below. He let the blanket slip from his shoulders, pooling around his waist. In the other room, Donghae slumbered soundly, content after such a long night.

Dawn would be breaking soon, and Ryeowook hadn’t been able to sleep much with all his thoughts jumbled together. Deciding to stay up and watch it, he had found himself dropping in and out of dreams, fantasies, and wonderings. He had been keeping himself busy with work, avoiding any opportunity that arose to talk in depth about his unfortunate reunion with Kyuhyun.

All that had been going through his mind was how to get through the next few days. When their eyes locked in that dealer’s room of all places, Ryeowook had felt all systems shut down. It was a reflex meant to stop anything from falling out of his hands, but now, as he absorbed the idea of losing Kyuhyun again, it seemed that the reflex was losing effectiveness.

Seeing him again changed the game.

Ryeowook let his head fall back, a heavy sigh slipping past his lips. Thinking back, Kyuhyun had been there since the night of the incident. It was only a build-up of stress and frustration, but it had led to a stupid stunt while Ryeowook’s father was working.

Always being the good kid hadn’t helped his decision. And so, Ryeowook left home with nothing. He hadn’t thought it all through, which was why by the time he figured out what a stupid mistake it was to run away, pride wouldn’t let him go back.

Yet…Kyuhyun showed up. He had a way of inching his way into someone’s heart and that was the day Ryeowook realized why.

“It was the start of something so dangerous,” he muttered, smiling subconsciously.

They rarely spoke of the incident, having buried it beneath many conflicts and changes to come in the next few years of high school. Kyuhyun never broke his promise though. That was the painfully irritating part. If he had even once failed to show up when Ryeowook needed him, it would be thousands of times easier to feel fewer emotions towards him.

Even now, as Ryeowook truly made himself an outcast, Kyuhyun was still pursuing him. It was boundless and perhaps foolish.

In the end though, it had a way of pressing on that certain soft spot. Ryeowook wouldn’t dare explore those emotions again, but somehow they were crawling out of the confines of a tightly built mental box and roaming freely in his mind.

“I don’t want you involved,” he whispered inaudibly, resting his head against the window pane, “so stop following…please stop…” Ryeowook closed his eyes, pulling his legs up, “…It’s already unnecessary now.”

 


	36. Chapter 36

 

Jonghyun crushed the cigarette with the sole of his shoe. Smoke rose up around his head, appearing light in the dark night. The alleyway was scarcely illuminated with orange. Scuttling footsteps interrupted his silent moment and then the messenger appeared through the haze.

There was a manila envelope tucked underneath one skinny arm. As the figure passed, he handed it off to Jonghyun, nodding his head discreetly.

Opening the backdoor of his current lodgings, he left the night and entered a well lit base. There were rooms lining either side of the hallway, occupied by various ranking members of the organization. After the thing with Kyuhyun, Jonghyun had been forced to take up residency back in that hell hole again.

It wasn’t particularly lavish or bare and perhaps that was the problem. Nothing made it stand out, leaving followers to lack any ambition to grow. Luckily for Jonghyun, he had more than his share of curiosity and imagination. It would be nearly impossible to keep him holed up for too long.

He walked into his room, shutting the door and sitting down on the edge of his bed. Without waiting any longer, he opened up the envelope, pulling out a packet of papers. The cover page was handwritten with curvaceous letters.

 

_He isn’t yours to keep._

_Don’t forget._

—    _S_

 

Jonghyun set the note aside, pushing away the unease caused by those words. Skimming over the first page in the packet, his heart sank. It was immediate and frightening and completely out of place. This certainly wasn’t the first time he had seen the guy, but it never ceased to amaze him how such an effeminate figure held so much power.

“Kim Ryeowook…,” he muttered, shaking his head as he flipped the page, “why you?” Of all the people, why was this person the one Kyuhyun supposedly loved?

Smiling irritably, Jonghyun read the information absently. His mind was on Kyuhyun’s probably smug face. It really was impossible to harm the one he loves. How could anyone even get within seeing distance of Ryeowook? There were guards around him constantly and when they weren’t around, his business partner, Lee Donghae, was there to protect him.

Jonghyun’s eyes fluttered wide in surprise when he saw the next page. “Oh…not just business partners,” he smirked. _Poor Kyu…_

Sighing, he leafed through the rest of the packet before tossing it away. That was enough information. What could he do? It would be impossible to do anything remotely harmful to Kyuhyun through Ryeowook. Lying back on the bed, Jonghyun closed his hands behind his head, glancing at the note that had been set aside earlier.

Picking it up, he read the words again: _He isn’t yours to keep. Don’t forget. — S_

“Hmm…,” Jonghyun mumbled, closing his eyes.

_Who does he belong to then?_

 

***

 

“N-No, no, no, please—!” _Kdunk…_ Donghae lowered the gun as the man fell to the ground, arms splayed and drowning in pools of blood both his and not.

 _Tchink!_ The flame rose from the metal lighter. Ryeowook sat on the top of a crate, legs dangling over the ledge as he ran the isolated flame over the edge of a paper. In a matter of seconds, it burst into flames, licking up the sides hungrily. Ryeowook dropped it, the curling sheet settling and dispersing in the scarlet splattered ground.

“They have a lot to clean up,” Donghae remarked, walking over to where the other male sat. He picked up the envelope that rested on the desk. There was a noticeable mark of blood on it, but other than that, the cover was clean. Leaning forward, he pressed a soft kiss to Ryeowook’s lips as he placed the evidence folder beside him.

Sighing into the kiss, Ryeowook wrapped his arms around Donghae’s shoulders, pulling himself closer as the latter tightened an arm around his waist. “We gave them the envelope for the conviction,” Ryeowook mumbled, “That’s all they need.”

“Convict a dead man? That’s silly,” Donghae chuckled, eyes trailing over to the corpses spread around the room.

In the back of the room, there were still a few whores shivering or cowering in fear. The others had been smart enough to stay out of the fight and in the safer areas. Donghae had pad locked the metal doors, sure that Kyuhyun and his entourage would arrive the next night to free them. One day of being in captivity wouldn’t be too painful.

“If you’re going to kill us, could you do it now?”

Ryeowook pulled away from Donghae, eyes finding a small figure standing a few feet away from them. His hair was dyed light brown and his skin was as smooth and supple as a baby. There was a dead light in his eyes, but light nonetheless. Thin ankles were drenched in blood from the puddles he had walked through to get to them.

“Do you want to die?” Ryeowook inquired, thoughtfully.

The boy shook his head.

“Why?”

“Because I’ve lived this long,” he responded quietly, “and I still don’t know what happiness is.”

“You don’t think you’ll find happiness in death?” Donghae leaned back against the crate, arms crossing over his chest.

The boy paused, but then shook his head again. “There’s a better possibility of finding happiness in life…because I know it exists. There’s a chance of no happiness at all in death.”

Ryeowook looked over at the still quaking and terrified people in the back of the room. “Why don’t you wait for someone to save you like those people?”

“Because I don’t want to spend another minute trapped in a cage.”

Stepping down from the crate, Ryeowook landed on the edge of still fresh fluids. “Take him with us.”

Donghae swept the boy up into his arms, not surprised to find that he was light as a feather. Just as he began walking, the boy piped up, eyes wide in disbelief. “You…you’re really not leaving me here?”

“You don’t want to be trapped in a cage anymore,” Ryeowook replied, pushing the door open and coming face to face with his waiting guards, “Being outside of the cage isn’t easy, but that is your decision.” He met the boy’s stare, “I’m complying.”

“I…”

“Hush,” Donghae whispered to the adolescent, “take it for what it means.” He smiled a little, but it soon disappeared.

The boy quietly nodded, letting his eyes drift shut.

 


	37. Chapter 37

 

“What…the fuck is this?” Kyuhyun stood frozen in the doorway. There was a group of armed agents behind him, but none of them were moving either.

The room was painted red, the stench of death painfully ripe. He took a step back, covering his nose and mouth. Turning to his men, he barked out, “Get the civilians!”

Nodding, they rushed through the slimy terrain, weapons dangling at their belts and shoulder straps. Kyuhyun looked around, searching for some sign of the dealers. It was futile though, he knew. All of them were soaking in their own fluids. The mere thought made him gag.

“What the hell is this?” A strong hand gripped his shoulder, swinging him around. Changmin glowered at his friend. “You said they would be here.”

“They lied,” Kyuhyun tore away from the angry hold. “Fuck, they lied.” He ran fingers through his hair, smiling bitterly. How had he been stupid enough to actually underestimate them? Ryeowook and Donghae were taught under the greatest manipulators, and Kyuhyun had simply brushed that information off.

It had never been a joint effort. Looking back, it should’ve been obvious that they were simply trying to keep Kyuhyun and Taemin under surveillance. Why else would they do all of that?

“Shit, Kyuhyun,” Changmin groaned, kicking the door roughly. “You didn’t even _think_ that they might be lying?”

“Of course I thought they were lying,” he spat angrily, “I just thought we had lied better.” He couldn’t even fathom how fast Ryeowook and Donghae had taken care of business though. It was ridiculous that a massacre of that level could’ve occurred in the one day time span they hadn’t seen one another. Kyuhyun thought they wouldn’t strike until the second day and then all of them would collide.

Clearly, they had not planned for such a mishap.

Changmin was still yelling, but Kyuhyun had stopped listening. Punching the wall, he strode out of the room and headed down the hallway. Behind him, Changmin was following and screaming. Ignoring it, Kyuhyun pulled out his phone, dialing Taemin’s number.

The boy answered on the second ring.

“They lied,” Kyuhyun stated.

“What?”

“They fucking lied. Everyone’s already dead.” He closed his eyes, head pounding from adrenaline and fury. “It’s a mess in there.”

“What…what do we do then?” Taemin asked.

Kyuhyun stopped walking. “I don’t know. The mission is—”

“—we found something!”

His eyes shot over to an approaching agent. There was a blood smeared manila envelope in his hand. Giving it to Kyuhyun, he bowed his head and retraced his steps back into the room. Frowning, Kyuhyun opened up the envelope, pressing the phone between ear and shoulder.

A thick note card fell out first. Kyuhyun turned it around in his hand, reading the scribbled words: _As an apology._

There was no signature. Of course there was no signature. Kyuhyun cursed, shaking the envelope to see what was inside. Evidence of recorded conversations, bills, contracts, and photos spilled out over Kyuhyun’s hand. He stared at them, wondering what sort of game he was playing.

Ryeowook said he wanted justice. Was it necessary to kill those people for justice? Wasn’t the evidence enough to put them in holding cells for life?

Then again, as Kyuhyun gazed at the pictures and skimmed over the transcripts, he could almost see what Ryeowook and Donghae saw. Those people tore lives apart. What gave them the right to continue living when they abused it so much?

“What? What’s going on?” Taemin demanded.

“They gave us filing material,” Kyuhyun grunted, closing the evidence folder, “That’s all.”

There was a brief silence before Taemin said, “…Is there anything in there linking them to it?”

 “No.”

“I…Meet me back at the apartment. I can’t say it over the phone.” The line went dead.

Kyuhyun tucked the device away, passing the folder off to Changmin who had finally quieted down. “Take these back to the base. I need to meet Taemin.” He started off towards the door.

“Is it something important?”

“I think so,” Kyuhyun nodded, “Is there anyone with him? He’s still incapacitated.”

Changmin put the envelope into his bag. “Yeah, Jungmo is watching over him.”

“Got it,” he pushed the door open, heading out into the night.

 

Taemin drummed his fingers against the couch cushions, eyes shifting over to the clock every few seconds. He exhaled loudly, throwing his head back helplessly. Why couldn’t Kyuhyun come faster? Better yet, why did his leg have to be so fucked up that he couldn’t have been there to tell Kyuhyun straight up?

A soft chuckle came from across the room. Looking over, Taemin smiled sheepishly at Jungmo. The latter was toying with a book on the shelf, flipping the pages idly. “You’ve been really anxious since you took that call from Kyuhyun. What happened?” Jungmo cocked his head, confused.

“I just want to make things better,” Taemin explained, “I feel like this mission would’ve gone better if Changmin had been Kyuhyun’s partner instead, or you were his partner. At least then he would’ve had someone with a better chance of catching the lies Ryeowook and Donghae were telling.”

“What do those two have to do with this exactly?” Jungmo frowned, sitting down on the couch adjacent to Taemin’s. “I heard bits and pieces, but nothing substantial.”

And so, Taemin filled him in quickly, detailing briefly the gunshot wound in his leg, the tag team, and the evident double crossing.

“It sounds like you couldn’t have done much about it,” he offered calmly, “I mean they made plans for anything to come. No one, not even Kyuhyun, noticed anything amiss.”

“Well…”

Jungmo smiled curiously, “Well?”

Taemin looked around the room, sighing and pulling out his phone. “Well,” he began again, scrolling through something before pressing on the screen, “maybe they didn’t think of everything.” He held up the phone.

 

_“There’s a large gathering in three days time, high and low ranking members of the ring will be there for the biggest sale of the year. It would be best to trap them then and take down as many as possible.”_

_“What should we do?”_

_“You’ll be part of the extermination. Isn’t that obvious?”_

_“What’s our exact job?”_

_“Call in backup and have them clean up the mess. Simple, we’ll take care of the rest.”_

_“Then you expect us to take custody of all the victims? We’re the pity party?”_

_“When you put it like that, it’s excessively demeaning.”_

_“No matter how you put it, it’s demeaning. Don’t you realize already that it’s a pain in the ass for us to work together? And now you’re expecting us to be your clean-up crew?”_

_“Take custody of them, or we’ll get rid of them using our own means. It’s your choice.”_

Pausing the recording, Taemin looked to Jungmo expectantly. “I don’t know if it’ll be enough, but it’s something. There’s an indirect confession in there, right?”

Jungmo nodded slowly, “There’s something there for sure. If you showed that to one of the agency’s lawyers, I’m sure they could make a case out of it.”

Smiling widely, Taemin’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Jungmo returned the smile, “You could get them into some sort of trouble.” _Click…_

Taemin’s face dropped. “Hyung…?” His body went rigid.

“Like I said, you could get them into trouble with that.” He leveled the gun with the agent’s forehead. “You really shouldn’t have gone and done something unnecessary.”

The phone, the boy, and the recording were destroyed that night.

 


	38. Chapter 38

 

Kyuhyun tapped his heels, flexing his fingers, looked around the room, and sighed. This went on for several minutes as the agency psychologist watched and scribbled doodles on his clipboard notepad.

“If you talk, this will go faster,” he remarked.

“There’s nothing to talk about, can I just go?” Kyuhyun complained, stretching his legs out suddenly. He cracked his knuckles and neck.

“A younger agent was killed in action while working with you. That’s something you need to talk about.”

“What’s with you people and talking?” he snapped. “I’m fine. I…already dealt with my problems.” Kyuhyun started to stand, but the psychologist gave him a pointed look that sent the young man sinking back down.

Sighing, he set the clipboard aside, leaning forward. “You don’t have anything to say? Just give me something, Kyuhyun, and I’ll check you off as fit for work again.”

“I don’t have anything to say about it though,” he frowned.

“Then just recount what happened when you arrived,” the doctor said helplessly, “Go ahead.”

Kyuhyun was quiet for a second. Clasping his hands together, he rested elbows on knees, head lowering. “That’s it?”

“Yes, that is it,” he affirmed.

“It took about five minutes. I got there and the door’s lock was broken. It all looked rushed and poorly executed, which makes sense considering Donghae probably hadn’t expected Taemin to have some sort of information on him.”

“That’s a big assumption. What makes you say such a thing?”

Kyuhyun pressed his lips together. “Who else would’ve killed Taemin? Donghae was the only person left involved. Ryeowook doesn’t dirty his hands with murder.” Shaking his head, he gnawed on his lower lip. “Taemin said he wanted to tell me something urgent about the case. It had to be about Donghae and Ryeowook. Can I go on with my story now?”

“Ah, sure, go ahead.”

“As I was saying, it was a forced entry. I ran inside and Jungmo was knocked out on the ground. Taemin,” Kyuhyun swallowed thickly, “uhm, he…he was slumped across the couch. Blood came from the wound on his forehead.” Blinking away the visions, Kyuhyun stood up. “That’s it. Sign my paper so I can get back to work.”

“Can I just say something?” He asked, slowly signing his name on the paper.

Kyuhyun took it, waiting for the man to speak again. “What?”

“You couldn’t save him. It was doomed from the beginning.”

“There’s always a way to save someone.” He turned to the door, pushing the handle down, “But thanks anyway, doc. Bye.”

 

Striding down the hallway, he avoided looking anywhere but ahead. It was clear what Taemin’s death had meant. They had overstepped their boundaries. Donghae found them to be a threat. They were uncontrolled variables in a carefully planned experiment.

So Kyuhyun was sure that he wouldn’t do anything stupid anymore. Taking missions of that caliber with new agents was out of the question. He exhaled loudly, trying to will away the flood of images – the people, the tears, the wails and mourning… Kyuhyun’s mouth twitched in discomfort. It probably would’ve been the end of his career if Taemin’s mother had told him he killed the boy. At least they were a family that could see where the blame laid clearly.

“Come in.”

 Kyuhyun pushed the door open, bowing his head to the head of the agency before entering. Looking around the room, he noticed Jungmo sitting on the couch. “Are we working together?”

“You two will be making a joint effort on this mission,” the agency head confirmed. He nodded for Kyuhyun to take a seat and he did so.

“I understand,” Kyuhyun murmured, reaching the short distance to touch Jungmo’s hand.

The slightly older man smiled at him, a flicker of worry in his depths. A silent question passed between them along with a silent assurance.

“As you both are agents involved with the recent incident concerning the slave trafficking in Taiwan, I feel it is important to get you two out on a mission. There will be danger everywhere you go, but having you in an unknown location would be safer than staying holed up at the agency.”

The man pressed a button and the monitor before them displayed an image of a rather impressive building. “This is the International Shanghai Academy of Arts and will be the location you next find yourselves.” He flipped the screen, now displaying images of the campus. “We have carefully checked the school and found there to be no known connection with the slave trafficking incident.”

“For this mission, Jungmo,” he looked at the man, “you will be acting as a student in the music department and Kyuhyun, you will be posing as a teacher in the music department. Recently, this school has been experiencing a high rate of suicide among their students – mainly in the department both of you will be centralized in. Find out what’s going on and if possible, stop it.”

“Why is Kyuhyun the teacher?” Jungmo mused.

The agency head couldn’t help a smile. “We figured with his background, you would make friends faster and easier.”

“Thanks,” Kyuhyun muttered sarcastically.

“Anyway,” he cleared his throat, handing them informational packets, “your supplies are already at your housing complex. You ship out in two days.”

 


	39. Chapter 39

 

Cameras flashed all around them, whispered voices fading in and out of the cacophonous room. Ryeowook stepped up to the podium, gazing out at the crowd. They fell silent, the only sound being the press’s clicks.

“Good morning,” Ryeowook greeted, nodding his head slightly, “I am proud to unveil today the newest project undertaken by Sapphire Blue Industries. We have been working closely with a small company based in Seoul, South Korea that emphasizes green energy. Therefore,” he indicated the screen behind him as it switched to a picture of floor plans and models of housing, “the finished product of the joint effort are these eco-friendly, affordable housing complexes.”

He waited quietly for the applause to die down, smiling here and there for pictures. Flipping to a new picture of an interior, Ryeowook continued explaining the details of the apartments. It took another fifteen or so minutes to get through everything and by the end the crowd had lost quite a massive amount of questions. They had all been answered somewhere in there.

“Thank you and I hope Sapphire Blue Industries will be able to make a difference in the fight to save the world,” Ryeowook smiled, stepping away from the podium to applause and more photos.

Disappearing into the backrooms, he sighed and loosened his tie. Donghae was waiting against the wall, a faint smirk on his lips. “Diplomacy isn’t your thing?”

“Siwon was better at it, I think,” Ryeowook replied dryly, walking down the hall with the other man.

“People trust your cute face,” Donghae argued lightly, tugging his lover into a dark corner of the corridor. He hovered over the shorter male’s lips, breathing softly as he kissed him, “It’s so innocent and serious. No one wants to make you cry.”

“What about you?” Ryeowook looked up at him, fingers curled into the male’s lapels. “You’ve made me cry plenty of times.”

He chuckled, pressing his face close to Ryeowook’s neck and shoulder. One arm wove around his slender waist. “It was only for the sake of training, I promise.”

“You enjoyed it a little too much then,” he frowned.

“You’re so vulnerable when you cry though,” Donghae kissed his jaw, teeth grazing his earlobe. “I want to hold you tighter when I see it.”

Ryeowook pushed at his lover, laughing a little. “Sadistic.”

“Only because you let me be,” he assured, closing his mouth over Ryeowook’s again. A warm haze draped over them as sparks flew around. They sank into the humming energy roiling around, pulling each other closer with every passing second. Ryeowook made a soft, desperate noise, panting quietly as he tangled his fingers into Donghae’s hair. The latter gripped the tiny figure’s thighs, pulling him up as he reached for the door to the closet behind them.

It slipped open and they stumbled inside, buttons popping and fabric sliding. Ryeowook had gotten halfway down Donghae’s chest when a cell phone buzzed.

“Fuck,” the taller male groaned, banging his head back against the door.

Ryeowook stood up, taking out his phone and answering it.

“Where are you and Donghae?” their driver’s voice blared through the device.

Pressing the phone up against his shoulder and ear, he sighed and began buckling Donghae’s belt again. “We’re—”

Snatching the phone up, he pushed Ryeowook’s hands away from his pants “—we’re fucking in a closet. What time is our next appointment?”

The driver was quiet for a second and then said, “In twenty minutes.”

Ryeowook crossed his arms, amusement evident on his face. “Got it,” Donghae muttered, glaring at his lover. Slipping the phone into his back pocket, he approached the smaller male as he began buttoning his shirt. “You’re way too happy about not getting in my pants.”

“I’m just happy when you’re flustered,” he teased, “It’s funny.”

“I’m the sadistic one?” Donghae pulled on Ryeowook’s tie, dragging them together in a brief kiss. “I’m sure that’s not the case.” Laughing against the male’s lips, he backed up and shrugged his discarded suit jacket on. “Let’s go then.”

Ryeowook followed after him, brushing his hand against Donghae’s as they travelled down the hall. It was a small, affectionate gesture just for the public eye. They exchanged a faint look before heading outside to their waiting car.

 

Once inside, Ryeowook looked across the leather seats to where a boy sat. He was groomed and chubby cheeked. A crisp uniform curved around his lean, small body, a bit big in certain areas. “You look ready,” Ryeowook remarked.

“I am,” he affirmed, “thank you again for the opportunity.”

“Don’t thank us,” Donghae stated, leaning against the window and door, “do as you will. Just don’t regret your choices.” He yawned, saying, “Go over your student information.”

The boy nodded. “My name is Henry Lau, sixteen years old. I’m studying violin and music composition at the International Shanghai Academy of Arts. My parents live in Canada and I’m staying in the school dorms. I have no siblings.”

“How did you get those scars?” Donghae tested lightly.

“When I was younger, I was in a minor bicycle accident where a car hit me,” he responded fluidly.

“Do you like to drink?” Ryeowook looked at the boy.

“I don’t drink alone, but I’ll have a cup if I’m with friends.”

“What about drugs?”

“It depends on the drug.”

Donghae smirked, “He’s good, Ryeowook.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” he smiled, “You’ve worked hard, Henry.”

The boy returned the smile, cheeks flushed a bit. “Yeah, I had fun…making up a past and everything. There was no one to tell me that I was doing something wrong.”

“Do you know Jungmo?”

Henry came back to attention, expression fixing itself. “Who’s Jungmo?”

Donghae nodded, “Good answer.”

 


	40. Chapter 40

 

Kyuhyun pushed his fake glasses up as he walked through the large school campus. There were students hanging around playing music or simply chatting. A few glanced at him, obviously unfamiliar. Although the campus was rather large, it seemed like the student population was small.

It made sense. After all, they were attending a school for gifted artists. Only a few people were truly that dedicated. Kyuhyun kept his eyes on the road ahead of him, wondering idly if he would’ve enjoyed attending a school that nice. Those students probably had no idea how privileged they were to even have the money to pay for schooling. As for getting in, that was an even more difficult task taken for granted.

Just as Kyuhyun turned a corner, a figure crashed into him. Staggering back, he frowned and looked at the young man who had fallen to the ground. The boy rubbed his tail bone, wincing in pain. Kyuhyun was about to yell at him for being stupid, but then caught himself. Right, he was a teacher. This was a student.

Clearing his throat, he offered his hand. The student seemed to pause and then take it gratefully. Smiling up at Kyuhyun, he said, “Thank you, sir. Are you a new teacher here?”

“Yes, I am,” he nodded slowly.

The boy dusted off his pants. “What are you teaching? And what should I call you?” he asked eagerly, eyes bright. “Oh, I almost forgot to say, my name is Sunggyu.”

Kyuhyun swallowed a sigh. _What a cute kid…_ “Mr. Cho. I teach music theory and vocals. Will you be part of my class?”

“Yeah, I hope so,” he nodded vigorously, “I’m actually in the high level divisions, so I hope you’re going to be taking part in that instead of the younger classes.”

“What do you mean?” Kyuhyun tilted his head.

Sunggyu chuckled, looking apologetic. “Oh sorry, I guess I didn’t explain well. Our school accepts music students anywhere from twelve to adulthood depending on an audition. From there, you’re placed according to age and ability. So, if there’s a twelve year old, he or she will be placed a division with students of the same age range. There are two equally difficult brackets for separate ages.”

It was a rather sensible system in Kyuhyun’s opinion. There was nothing bizarre and if anything, it was fairer than some places he had seen. “How old are you then?” Kyuhyun prompted.

“How old do you think I am?” he grinned cheekily.

A small smirk appeared on the agent’s face. “Cute. I’d say…fifteen?”

His eyes widened in shock and then he frowned. “Hey!”

“How old are you then?” Kyuhyun crossed his arms, eyes twinkling.

“I’m nineteen,” Sunggyu grinned. “What about you, Mr. Cho?”

“Not too old to da—”

“—Mr. Cho!” Jungmo slapped Kyuhyun on the back. The teacher fumbled forward, narrowly dodging a confused Sunggyu. “What are you doing here? Another teacher told me to find you since we met earlier today in the administration building.” He turned to the younger student, saying, “Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Jungmo.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Sunggyu nodded, “Are you a transfer?”

“Yup, I’m studying music composition.” He pointed at Kyuhyun, “Sorry, I’ll see you later and then we can really talk. Right now I really have to get Mr. Cho to that teacher.” Pulling his partner around, he dragged him away.

They were around the bend and far out of earshot by the time Kyuhyun jerked his arm away. “What was that about?”

“You were about to start flirting with a student,” Jungmo rolled his eyes, “Did you forget that you’re a teacher? And aren’t you head-over-heels for that person Changmin is always talking about? The boy from your past?”

Kyuhyun frowned, “I wasn’t going to sleep with him or anything.” _I just like small, cute things…like Ryeowook…_

“That doesn’t matter,” he sighed, “if you get kicked out on the first day for misconduct we’ll have a serious problem.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered.

Somewhere in the distance, a bell chimed and students began to pick up their belongings. There were several different districts of the campus and Jungmo directed them towards the correct one. “You haven’t noticed anything off yet, right?”

Kyuhyun shook his head. “I’ve been here approximately twenty minutes. I don’t think there’s a possibility of running into anything bad as of yet.”

The other male nodded carefully. “I don’t understand what sort of case we’re facing.”

“Teen suicide? What’s there to get?” Kyuhyun murmured.

Jungmo looked around, “It’s not exactly a depressing atmosphere around here, if you hadn’t noticed.”

“They’re all competing against one another for musical achievement. I could see suicide as an understandable choice of action.” They entered the building, making their way down a side corridor towards the designated classroom. Jungmo had been assigned two of Kyuhyun’s classes, one of which was first period.

“I guess you’re right…,” he trailed off, reaching the classroom door and pulling it open.

 

***

 

“N-No…no, please d-don’t…” Tears streaked the student’s face. His clothes were in tatters, arms chained high above his head, shoulder blades popped out of place. “D-Don’t do this anymore…—!” A dirty wad of cloth was shoved into his mouth.

“This is what happens to kids that don’t listen,” the captor said softly, “I told you to write it. Why didn’t you listen?”

The boy continued to cry, unable to answer. Shaking his head, he choked and gagged, trying desperately not to swallow the blood caked on the fabric.

“Now you won’t speak either? You’re just _asking_ for it, aren’t you?”

His eyes widened, body quaking as he struggled to get away from the figure. Frantically, the boy backed up, tip toes just barely pressing on the concrete. The figure continued to approach, dragging a knife down from a nearby metal tray.

“I told you write it and _you disobeyed me_.” His voice was low and cold.

The blade’s tip drove into the boy’s stomach, tearing flesh, muscle and organs. Twisting the metal deep inside, the captor smiled, a shrill laugh erupting from his throat. The boy was quaking and gasping, eyes rolled back into his skull.

“So easy…so easy…so easy…,” the figure droned, releasing the grip he held on the bloodied weapon. Flicking his wrist, he slid a thin scalpel out. “I don’t want to…but I can’t leave you like this,” he whispered, running the tool down the unconscious boy’s arm, slicing through the flesh. “Just the skin…that’s all I want…”

 


	41. Chapter 41

 

Jungmo snubbed out his cigarette, strumming his guitar softly in the early evening light. The dorm room was relatively quiet except for the gentle breathing of his roommate. There were two beds with a four foot space between them for walking. A bay window was set on the opposing wall to the door, which was Jungmo’s declared spot for the duration of the mission.

Eyes trailing over to the slumbering boy in bed, he smiled a little. Setting the guitar down, he closed the window and just as he went for the instrument again, there was a stirring in the bed.

Drowsy brown eyes opened and the cutest little face popped up from the pillows and sheets. His hair was slightly out of place and his lips were parted in confusion, but still, he was one of the most adorable kids Jungmo had ever seen. How a boy like that could’ve ever been sold for prostitution…he didn’t know. What sort of twisted person would you have to be to want to touch someone like that sexually?

“You awake?” Jungmo prompted, plucking the strings of his guitar absently. He watched Henry shake his head and flop back down. Chuckling, the older male continued playing softly until his roommate found the energy to get up.

Henry yawned and stretched, the oversized t-shirt rustling a bit. “Hi, hyung,” he mumbled, eyes still closed, “what time is it?”

“Just past six,” he murmured, “you did well earlier today, by the way.”

“Thank you,” the boy grinned, eyes turning up sweetly.

Jungmo stared at him for a moment too long, unable to look away from the adorable child. Really, what sick bastard wanted to do anything explicit with that boy? Shaking his head in disgust, he went back to strumming. “I had no idea you could act that well. Even I second guessed whether or not you were the one they sent.”

“I like being this person. It feels special to me,” Henry explained in a small voice, “kind of like…I don’t have to be the person I was raised up as. There are so many options in life.”

“That’s right,” he nodded understandingly.

“I owe it all to them,” he looked up at Jungmo, “if they weren’t there that day, I would probably be in some refugee center or a government facility.”

“I agree. I’m glad that you’re here with us as well,” the black haired, handsome man smiled wistfully. He leaned into his instrument, beginning to play a soft, merry tune.

Henry listened in silence, enjoying the notes floating through the room. Looking around, he spotted his violin case and opened it. Lifting the instrument out, he checked the strings and then ran his bow experimentally. Sweet music joined the guitar. Jungmo caught Henry’s eye approvingly.

They played together impromptu, silently exchanging laughs here and there.

“Is Cho Kyuhyun a nice person?” Henry whispered as they both lowered the level of playing until it was a mere hum.

“Does it matter?” Jungmo remarked, raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe,” he shrugged, “I don’t want to hurt anyone unnecessarily.”

“If something arises, don’t worry,” the elder dismissed, “I’ll be there. Your hands will stay clean.”

Henry flushed, looking down. “You don’t have to protect me, hyung.”

“I want to,” Jungmo smiled, “each of us has ideals on justice that have never quite fit with the rest of society. For me, I feel above all else that I am only doing my best when I keep the ones most innocent and vital safe. You’re one of those people, Henry.”

“You’re really kind for having just met me,” he giggled, playing a particularly crisp and high note.

“Length of time doesn’t matter. I can see it clearly that you’re good in every sense of the word.”

Henry was quiet for a brief second, “Then, what about Donghae-hyung? He’s not the…most innocent man.”

“I protect him because he has the same heart as I do. It might not reach out to every person out there, but he does what he can to keep Ryeowook safe. That’s enough for me.”

He let his head rise and fall subtly. “Do you have any ideas about what’s going on at this school?”

“No idea,” Jungmo mumbled, head tilted towards the window, “I’m rather positive that they wouldn’t have sent us if it was simply a suicide case.”

“Are you saying they know the problem?”

“No,” he shook his head, “I’m sure they have a hunch though. We’ll have to figure this out soon. The longer it takes, the more likely things will escalate.”

Henry frowned. “What do you mean?”

“If they aren’t regular suicides, what options are left?” His voice was low and careful, dark eyes lifting up to peer at the boy.

It took barely a moment for that information to process and then Henry was clenching his fists. “Ah…I get it.”

There was a knock at the door then. They exchanged a look before Henry proceeded to the entrance to the room, opening it. Sunggyu was standing on the other side of the threshold. That wasn’t quite what Jungmo or Henry had been expecting, but that was alright.

“I’m your R.A. so I came to check up on you guys,” he stated, grinning, “it’s pretty common to get transfers, so we’re very careful about making sure you guys feel welcome.”

“Oh, thank you,” Henry bowed his head with false clumsiness. He glanced back up at Sunggyu, confused at the expression on the male’s face. “Uhm, hyung, did I do something wrong?”

The other student shook his head quickly. “No, no,” a smile spread across his lips, “I’m just surprised that an underclassman knows how to be so polite.” He laughed and stepped into the room. “Usually, I get the kind of reception Jungmo is giving me.”

At the sound of his name, the older boy looked up and smiled in a vaguely apologetic way. “We’re roughly the same age. It’s hard to bow my head in respect.”

“How old are you?”

“Mm, eighteen,” he answered easily. It was a lie, but that didn’t matter. He could easily pass for eighteen. Kyuhyun certainly barely passed for a teacher.

Sunggyu sat down on one of the beds, stretching out. “So have you guys enjoyed your first few days?”

“It’s been fun,” Henry replied, sitting down at the desk.

“That’s good to hear,” he chuckled, “do you have any questions at all?”

“Uhm…,” the boy trailed off, looking confused. Sunggyu just laughed, giving Henry a smile.

Jungmo chimed in then, saying, “Who’s the best and worst teacher in the music department?”

“Best teacher…,” he looked up at the ceiling and then back down, “that would definitely have to be Mr. Cho. He’s so funny and harsh. Before he transferred here though, it would have to have been Mr. Lee Eunhyuk. As for the worst teacher,” Sunggyu made a face, “it definitely has to be Mr. Kim Heechul.”

“Why are they the best and worst?”

Sunggyu chuckled, “Eunhyuk is an awesome instructor because he loves to teach us. Heechul is very lazy and he’s more interested in teaching acting.”

Henry’s eyes shifted back and forth as he thought, bottom lip being chewed by teeth. The R.A. looked over at him, frowning. Standing up, he crouched down in front of the cute boy, pinching his cheeks. Flabbergasted, Henry’s head shot up.

“You…are so cute,” Sunggyu muttered, running his thumbs over the soft, supple skin, “What should I do?” he teased, tousling the boy’s hair and standing up.

“S-Sorry,” Henry cast his eyes down, embarrassment flushing his face.

“Still too cute,” he laughed, heading for the door, “if you guys have any other questions, I’ll be around. See you guys on campus.” He waved goodbye, shutting the door behind him.

Jungmo turned his attention to Henry, “We should go talk to Kim Heechul soon, hmm?”

The boy nodded.

 


	42. Chapter 42

 

They sat opposite one another at the breakfast table. Rain trickled down the glass panes, mixing with the soft jazz music floating from the stereo in the living room. The nook being occupied was white and cozy with a rustic wooden tabletop.

Thunder rolled through the early dawn sky.

Ryeowook tightened his grip on Donghae’s fingers, keeping the entwined extremities close. “Are you sure this is what you want?” He looked up with concern, eyes flickering uncertainly. The pen rested underneath his right hand, poised for its task. “This is risky to say the least. Furthermore, I can’t say that I fully agree.”

“We live a very dangerous life,” Donghae responded softly, “nothing is set in stone – most of all our futures. Do you expect happiness at the end of this trail?” He smiled pityingly, “From the very beginning of our journeys, we made choices and one of those choices was giving up an easy life with a fairytale ending.”

“There’s not even a chance to hope for that, though?” Ryeowook asked with more desperation in his voice than he had wanted to show.

Donghae paused and then sighed, unlacing and then lacing their fingers together again. “That’s beside the point right now. Sign the form. Otherwise, our joint bank account won’t be relinquished at that time.”

“I’m just—”

He pressed a finger to Ryeowook’s lips, shaking his head gently but firmly. “Don’t. Just do it, Ryeowook. If you don’t right now, there’s a hell of a lot more pain in store in the future.”

Slowly, he picked up the pen, taking a deep breath. “You know that I trust you right?” Ryeowook pressed the tip to the paper, looking up at Donghae, “…with that said, you must also know that I don’t want to let go of you. You’re the first person who has ever been there for me like this…you understand me best.”

“As true as that is,” he smiled, leaning forward, running his fingers through Ryeowook’s hair, “It won’t change this situation. This is all for the best…it’s a precaution and completely necessary. I won’t let anything bad happen to you so long as I can help it.”

“Even when you’re buried six feet under?”   

“If I’m lucky enough to have a proper burial,” he scoffed, dark humor trickling between his lips.

Ryeowook cast his eyes to the paper, quickly signing it. Letting out a heavy breath, he sank back in his seat, holding Donghae’s hand ever harder. “Imagining it is enough to make me feel pain.”

He rubbed his thumb gently across the back of the male’s hand. Leaning down, Donghae pressed his lips to the smooth skin, “…I know.”

 

***

 

“My, my, aren’t you little?” a beautiful man by the name of Kim Heechul remarked, eyeing Henry blatantly. He circled the stiff-backed boy, reaching out to brush his shoulder slightly. “Very, very small…”

“Uhm…what are you doing, Mr. Kim?” Sunggyu questioned uncomfortably. He watched in half-horror, half-amusement at the observatory persona Heechul had taken upon examining his new friend.

“Studying this cute creature,” he drawled, “can’t you tell just by looking, boy?”

“I’m Henry,” he stated without anyone’s asking. Carefully, he backed away from Heechul, adding, “it’s nice to meet you, Mr. Kim.”

“And how would you know if it’s nice to meet me?” Heechul frowned, dropping gracefully down onto a chair. “I hardly think that you would know right off the bat. Have kids been talking about me again and that’s how you know?”

“N-No,” Henry blinked, looking confused and worried. “Excuse me, but where is Jungmo-hyung? I thought he was just getting something from the backroom.”

“Oh, right,” the teacher nodded absently, “that boy is incredibly handsome. Don’t you agree, Henry?”

He nodded slowly. “I guess he is. A lot of people compliment him every day.”

“What do you think of that new teacher, Mr. Cho or something?” Heechul cocked his head. “I think he’s rather attractive – a bit of a sourpuss, but nothing so terrible, I think.”

“Yes, Mr. Cho is very cool,” Henry stated, “he’s handsome among the teachers…I think you’re the most beautiful though, Mr. Kim.” He flashed a wide grin, earning a stifled laugh in return.

Heechul stood up, coming over and patting the boy’s head affectionately. “Ah, we really will get along during your stay here.” He glanced at the backroom. “Go get Jungmo. I’m sure that whatever he’s looking for isn’t there. I’d rather him not mess around with my stuff any longer.”

Henry nodded, pulling Sunggyu along with him.

They stepped inside the closet like space, glancing over their shoulders to check if Heechul was there. “What are you looking for again?” Sunggyu asked softly, confused.

“Nothing really,” Henry assured vaguely, “maybe something that could possibly be dangerous…or weird.”

“Well, Heechul is a weird guy in general,” he said slowly, “I don’t think you’ll find anything normal back here, to be honest.”

Jungmo straightened, closing a dusty box of papers. “There’s nothing.” He peered at Sunggyu, giving him a slight smile. “Perhaps he’s not as weird as you think?”

The boy cast his eyes down for the briefest of moments before shrugging and laughing it off. “Hmm, guess you’re right. Should we get going then?”

Heechul’s voice called from outside. The trio exchanged looks, and then headed back out. Henry fell back a step, mumbling to Jungmo, “Not him, right?”

“Nope,” he responded under his breath.

 


	43. Chapter 43

 

Kyuhyun stared in wonder at the bubbly teacher sitting across from him. The man was fair skinned and dark haired with large black eyes. Those same attentive orbs were currently focused on Kyuhyun with far too much interest for that time of the day and that particular environment.

“You’re Cho Kyuhyun, right? One of the new music teachers, if I’m right?” the man asked, smiling, “I’m Lee Sungmin. Sorry for having taken so long to introduce myself. You’ve been here for a few days already, but it’s been pretty hectic with all of the rumors and scandals…you probably heard about them before coming here...which just makes you that much cooler for deciding to come anyway!”

“Yes…,” Kyuhyun said slowly.

“Why did you decide on our school?” Sungmin prompted, leaning forward in his seat.

He leaned away, almost cringing. “Well, it’s still a great school and the salary is very good for teachers. I decided that I could ignore the scandals.”

“You’re really brave,” he complimented.

“Thanks,” Kyuhyun muttered, “but why are you here? It seems like someone with your personality wouldn’t be…inclined to stay after so many strange occurrences.”

“What does that mean?” Sungmin feigned insult.

“You’re very bright and innocent,” Kyuhyun responded with a small shrug, “I can’t see you handling these things well.”

He flushed and smiled. “Thank you for the concern…I’m fine though. This is nothing for me! I can handle a lot,” he grinned.

The bell rang then and the teachers began standing up, collecting their things. Kyuhyun turned and left as quickly as possible, not wanting to get stuck talking to Sungmin any longer. The guy was too excited and bouncy for his taste. He shuddered at the thought, turning a corner before anyone could catch him.

 

“Have you found anything?” Kyuhyun prompted Jungmo. The night had settled in as they stood in a corner of the library, talking to one another quietly and casually. Any random passersby would barely take a moment to glance at them.

“It isn’t Heechul,” he offered lightly, “I hear there’s a party tonight though. That might be a good place to find out more about the social relationships here. Maybe it’s a bullying group.”

Kyuhyun nodded slowly. “That’s a possibility. Keep me posted.” He turned and began walking away, but Jungmo stopped him.

“Do you think it’ll take a long time to complete this mission?” he asked.

“I’m not sure,” Kyuhyun responded, “it might…or it might not be.”

“That wasn’t decisive at all,” Jungmo remarked wryly.

“There are so many possibilities and in the end, it could just be a fluke.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m all for missions and helping save the world or whatever, but if some kid is going to off himself, then it’s his business. If we were out to save every single soul from self destruction, then I would have to drop out of this business.”

He smiled faintly, “Cold, Kyu.”

“Realistic,” he corrected, “It’s not possible to save everyone, and to only save a couple isn’t fulfilling. If I planned to end suicide in the population, I wouldn’t be satisfied unless I could eradicate it all.”

Jungmo let go of the man. “I see.”

“Tell me when you find out anything,” he grunted, turning a corner swiftly.

Kyuhyun was barely out of the library when he bumped into someone. Looking down, he saw Sunggyu staring right back at him. “Are you okay?” Kyuhyun prompted, leaning forward a bit.

The student dropped his gaze. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said quickly, “sorry, Mr. Cho!” Sunggyu paused for a moment and then peeked up, “Actually, can I talk to you about something?”

“I…guess so,” he responded slowly, having to remind him that teachers did this sort of stuff. Kyuhyun looked around and then nodded down the hall towards the terrace doors. They walked in silence, glass doors being pushed open as Kyuhyun led the way out into the night.

Sunggyu leaned against the railing next to his newest and youngest teacher, fidgeting slightly. “Uhm…do you know anything about love?” he asked awkwardly.

“Love?” Kyuhyun stared at the boy, but then laughter was bubbling up inside of him and he covered his mouth.

“What?” Sunggyu demanded, frowning.

“Nothing, that was just cute,” he shook his head, chuckling and lowering his hand. “Love is something I can’t say I know very well. It’s very strange to me, too.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

Kyuhyun smiled and that was all the answer anyone would ever need. However, he did respond as he slid his hands over the white railing, “Yeah…I think so. He isn’t very happy with me most of the time though.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Sunggyu argued, “If it’s love, it’s reciprocated, right?”

“Why do you think so?” Kyuhyun mused.

“Well, you can love someone unconditionally,” he offered, “but to be _in_ love with someone requires both sides to love…at least that’s how I see it.”

He was quiet for a long moment, rolling those words around in his head. “I understand that,” Kyuhyun admitted carefully, “but sometimes, you just can’t be with someone even if you love each other. Things aren’t always so simple.” He shrugged. “Anyway, why did you even bring this up? Who are you thinking of?” Kyuhyun grinned.

The boy visibly flushed in the semi-darkness. “…I just think he’s really cute and sweet.”

“Oh, it’s a boy!” he smirked.

Sunggyu huffed. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he laughed, “really, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Yeah,” he nodded firmly, “I know.” The boy drummed his fingers on the smooth white stone boxing them onto the terrace. “I haven’t known him for very long though. I’ve known him for about as long as I’ve known you, Mr. Cho, and that’s not an extensive period. But when he’s around I really feel…like he’s the best person to have ever existed.”

Kyuhyun whistled, “Those are really big words. Do you know if he likes you?”

“No…I haven’t said anything about it to him,” he shrugged, “I feel like he’ll get scared.”

“You haven’t even tried,” Kyuhyun pushed off from the cold railing, “Go and ask him to hang out sometime off-campus and see how he likes it. He could very well like you and you just haven’t given him a chance to say so.”

Sunggyu slumped, looking exasperated. “Everything you say is too simple. I don’t feel like life is actually that easy.”

“It isn’t, but if you can make it that easy, that’s for the best,” Kyuhyun responded.

The boy was about to say something, but then there was a muffled scream, a loud thump, and the sound of a dragging body.

 


	44. Chapter 44

 

They raced down to the courtyard below the terrace, panting and panicked. Sunggyu looked at his teacher, horrified. Kyuhyun pointed back towards the building. “Go get the principal and bring him back here!” He watched the boy run off.

Kyuhyun pulled out his phone, calling Jungmo as he chased the trail of flattened grass. It was quickly fading and he wasn’t about to lose their only lead. The sooner they got out of the school, the better. Missions were always complicated when they were extended beyond need. “Follow the tracker,” Kyuhyun stated before hanging up and picking up the pace.

He rounded a building, ducking as a metal pole swung overhead. “What the fuck?” Kyuhyun looked up, but the figure was dark as the shadows, face obscured by a mask. The person drove the weapon down, but Kyuhyun dove out of the way.

A swift kick knocked the air out of him and he rolled over, clutching his stomach as he watched the person dart off through the night. Cursing again, Kyuhyun forced himself up, limping after the quickly receding dark.

Jungmo appeared just moments later, breathless and wild-eyed. “What? What happened?” he questioned.

“He got away,” Kyuhyun shook his head, frowning and straightening up as the pain in his gut became a dull ache.

“Did you see his face?”

“No,” he responded, “It could’ve been a girl, I guess. I’m not sure. Whoever it was is lethal.”

Jungmo nodded, “I bet. They got you.”

“Shut up,” Kyuhyun snapped, grunting. “Well at least now we know a little bit about the situation. It’s probably not suicide after all.” He bit his bottom lip, thinking. “We need to talk to the principal. Something isn’t right.”

Quickly, they ventured back into the main building, Jungmo breaking off to talk to students and Kyuhyun going off to find the principal. It didn’t take long as he saw Sunggyu rushing down the hall with the older fellow in tow.

“What’s going on?” the principal demanded.

“Let’s talk in your office, sir,” Kyuhyun ground out. He watched the man struggle with listening, but then all of them were on their way. Sunggyu trailed a few steps behind as if he wasn’t quite part of the adult conversation – which, in a way, he wasn’t.

The door slammed shut and the three figures faced one another. Before the principal could once again demand anything, Kyuhyun was in his face, talking in a low, calm voice. “Someone or something was attacked and dragged away tonight. I’m sure as well that these aren’t teen suicides you’ve been feeding to the press or whoever the hell it is that you report to on student scandals.”

His face reddened but he stayed silent.

Kyuhyun scoffed, leaning back. “Why would you lie to the media and on official reports about the suicide levels? Students are going missing, aren’t they? That’s the real issue.”

“That’s…,” the principal trailed off, growing redder with every passing second. “You’re…You are absolutely out of line, Mr. Cho—”

“—maybe if you weren’t such a stupid administrator I wouldn’t have to be out of line,” he cut in. Kyuhyun shook his head. He turned to the door, yanking it open and stalking out. Right behind him, Sunggyu raced to keep up with the brisk pace.

“You’re leaving just like that?” he asked, out of breath.

“That asshole won’t be of any help. I’m not gonna sit around doing nothing.”

“But you were barely in there! You didn’t get to hear his side—”

“—I don’t work like that,” Kyuhyun interrupted, “There’s no excuse for hiding something like missing students. He’s just trying to save his own ass and I don’t plan on talking to someone like that.”

Sunggyu stared at him in awe before shaking his head slowly. “You’re really cool, Mr. Cho…”

“Not really,” Kyuhyun smirked, “I just have a conscience. That’s not so weird.” He nodded towards the dormitory. “Go back to your room. It’s getting late and you probably haven’t done your homework.”

The boy flushed. “Ah…I guess that’s true.” He smiled slightly, waving to his teacher. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning then. Tell me if anything happens, please! Good night, Mr. Cho!” He bowed once and then shuffled off.

Kyuhyun watched him go for a short moment before pulling out his phone and sending a text to Jungmo.

**To: Jungmo**

**I’m checking out the trail tonight. Meet me after midnight.**

 

The reply never came, but Kyuhyun knew that what the answer was.

 

***

 

Sunggyu stepped into the dormitory, frowning when he saw a commotion in the commons. “What’s going on?” he asked, making his way through the crowd of boys.

In the center of the group was a crying Henry. His small body was shaking, eyes wet and red and puffy. Both cheeks were streaked and his lip was cut. When their gazes locked, Henry’s face crumpled all over again and Sunggyu was falling to his knees, hugging the boy quickly.

“Are you okay?” he questioned, stunned. Sunggyu looked around at the group, “Go to your rooms! It’s almost lights out.” There were some protests, but soon enough they were all dispersing as well.

Henry finally spoke once the last onlooker vanished around the corner. “I-I…I don’t know what happened,” he whispered, clutching the other boy’s shirt, “w-we were walking back from private music p-practice and he s-said he needed to go back for a s-second…,” the boy choked on a sob, covering his face.

“Ssh…it’s okay. Take your time. I’m listening,” Sunggyu murmured gently, rubbing the younger one’s backside.

Nodding, Henry took a deep breath, continuing, “I g-got worried about him being in the d-dark alone…so I went b-back fast. H-He was hit by s-someone and when they s-saw me they punched me and r-ran off with him.” He cried harder there, unable to finish the story.

Sunggyu didn’t need to hear anymore though. He knew how that story ended. There was only one way. “Get to sleep,” he whispered, “Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight…? I don’t mind. That was really traumatic.”

Henry just nodded, holding onto the older boy for dear life.

 


	45. Chapter 45

 

Donghae kissed Ryeowook softly, smiling at him affectionately. “Be careful. You’re going undercover without me, you know,” he reminded, brushing the back of his hand down the slope of his lover’s face.

“Yeah, I know,” Ryeowook murmured, keeping his arms around the taller male, resting his head against Donghae’s chest for an extended moment. “I’ll be fine, I promise.”

“I still worry,” he muttered, “It’s not a safe territory and you’re going in without any backup.”

The smaller figure chuckled. “You can’t help it. There’s business to attend to in the United States.”

Donghae frowned. “That’s not an excuse. I’ll come join you in Turkey as soon as I can.” He kissed Ryeowook once more, lingering there. “Be really careful, Ryeo-ah. I’ll be there in two weeks. I promise.”

He nodded, stepping out of the embrace and heading towards the plane. “See you later, Donghae!” he smiled, waving goodbye before disappearing inside the pane.

“Sir are you ready to go?” one of the guards prompted.

“Yeah,” Donghae said softly, “let’s go.”

 

***

 

Kyuhyun hunched low to the ground, studying the flattened grass and remnants of footprints in the soft soil of a nearby bush. Behind him, Jungmo was examining the path, taking mental notes. The pair exchanged a look as they circled around the building and spotted splatters of some dark liquid on the stepping stone path.

It was just a small set of three flat rocks leading towards a bridge looping a stream. The water was running and gurgling softly in the night, making little indication of any nefarious acts. Kyuhyun made a noise of disapproval at the spots of what must have been blood. “Messy,” he whispered nearly inaudibly.

“Hasty,” Jungmo added, “…I wonder why it’s only right here.”

“Maybe the kid woke up,” Kyuhyun muttered, touching the blood, only to feel it dried up. “This was a long time ago?” He frowned. “Is that right?”

“It could’ve been a previous victim’s blood,” he stated.

Kyuhyun nodded slowly. “That’s a possibility, I suppose. I don’t know what to think of that though.” He stood up from his crouch. “How many are there?”

“The report says more than a handful of ‘suicides’ have occurred recently,” Jungmo answered.

“That principal is such a little fucker,” he scoffed, following the trail over the bridge. Kyuhyun’s foot caught on something immediately upon crossing over the bridge. Stumbling, he crashed into the dirt, grimacing and getting back up. “What…?” he trailed off, covering his mouth when he saw the collapsed body.

Jungmo stared at it for a second. “It’s alive,” he assured, kneeling down and helping the barely breathing student up. “Stop freaking out, Kyu.”

“I am not freaking out,” he snapped, “I…I just didn’t expect that.”

“Yeah, okay,” he snorted, snickering when Kyuhyun slapped his back. “Let’s get back,” Jungmo nodded back over the bridge, “We can’t get anywhere tonight with this kid around.”

The agent hesitated but then silently picked up the student’s other shoulder, helping to bear the weight.

 

***

 

Sunggyu blinked a few times, gazing at the boy who was staring right back at him. “What’s wrong…?” he asked slowly, confused.

The lights were on in the small dorm room, albeit dim. Henry wrapped his arms around the older boy’s waist, tentatively squeezing him. “Hey…thanks again,” he mumbled, resting his head against Sunggyu’s chest.

“It’s no problem,” he smiled, brushing the boy’s hair, “It’s sort of my job to make you guys feel comfortable.” He paused, laughing awkwardly. “That’s not what I meant. I probably shouldn’t be talking about that when we’re in this position.”

Henry looked up at the RA. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“Well…we’re…in bed together,” Sunggyu explained slowly, flushing.

“Is that uncomfortable?” Henry frowned, confused.

“No, I mean, you’re really cute,” he fumbled, squirming away then, “Let’s go to bed, alright?” Sunggyu reached for the lights, flicking them down and casting the room into darkness.

The younger male didn’t say anything, simply staring through the black at the boy lying across from him.

 

***

 

The figure watched through the trees, eyes burning into the retreating backsides of a teacher and two students. He played with his bloodied fingers, picking at the dried stains under his fingernails. It would take all night to clean him up, but he did it so frequently that it hardly mattered.

“Dammit…dammit, dammit, dammit…,” he cursed quietly, grinding his teeth harshly. “How annoying..,” The person pushed out of the brush as the trio disappeared around a bend of trees. His heart was beating quickly, mind racing with possible scenarios.

What if they sent a search party this way? What if they found traces of everything and— the man dug nails into the palm of his hand, letting out a heavy sigh.

There was no reason for him to overreact. Life wasn’t out to get him. He was just doing what was necessary to get rid of the corrupt school. Soon enough the truth would be exploited and everything would be okay. Yes.

Fumbling around, he took out his phone, dialing a number. He waited and waited for an answer, finally receiving one on the fifth call.

“What is it?” the voice growled.

The shaky, bloodied man swallowed hard, saying, “I-I think someone saw me, Jonghyun. I think they’re going to come after me and find all of the stuff—”

“—shut up and calm down,” Jonghyun spat, “you’re fucking annoying. He’ll take care of you, so stop freaking out and do your job right, got it?”

“Oh o-okay,” he nodded, licking his lips, “I understand…I’ll just do my job and he’ll take care of me.”

“That’s right.” And then the line went dead.

The man dropped the phone to his side, taking calming breaths and repeating the words over and over again. _He’ll take care of me…He’ll take care of me…He’ll take care of me…_


	46. Chapter 46

 

Kyuhyun slung the bag over his shoulder, hurrying out of the room and into the early evening. People were busily chattering and walking, headed for the dining hall. No one paid any mind to him as he slipped through the throngs, that is, until he felt a hand grasp his wrist.

Cursing under his breath, Kyuhyun turned around to see Jungmo eyeing him with some amount of wariness. “What are you doing?” he sighed.

“I caught wind of Ryeowook,” he responded quickly, “I need to get going.”

“You sound absolutely crazy right now,” Jungmo grunted, tightening his hold on the agent. “There’s no way you’re abandoning this after what we found last night. Aren’t in the least curious as to what the boy will say when he wakes up?”

Kyuhyun thought for a second and then shrugged, tearing out of the grip. “You’re probably going crazy if you think I am ever going to prioritize the lives of millions over Ryeowook. I didn’t join this agency to be a hero. All I want is to save him. That’s my only goal. You’re not going to get in my way.”

“After all this time, you haven’t changed?” Jungmo demanded. “There could be a crazy killer out there and you’re not even going to _try_ and stick around.”

“Yeah, no,” he deadpanned. “I wish I was a justice seeker and a goodie-two-shoes or whatever, but I’m really not. The agency always knew they would be taking a risk when bringing me in.”

“You’re going rogue just like that?” he asked.

Kyuhyun thought for a moment, and then he shrugged. “I’ve lived to die. I’ve seen the world. I’ve played the game. Even if it’s only for a few seconds, I want to be happy again.” He shrugged his bag higher up his shoulder. “Bye. Good luck.”

Jungmo watched him leave, unable to do anything to stop him. For a split second, he considered contacting Donghae to warn him, but what was the point? He was probably with Ryeowook. They would find out soon enough. He would never admit to having a soft spot for Kyuhyun, though.

“Where is he going?” Henry asked, appearing behind Jungmo.

The latter shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. We have more important things to worry about now.” He slung an arm around the younger boy, leading him away from the departing figure.

 

The flight was bearable, but only because of his wandering mind and a very fine glass of wine. Kyuhyun peered out the window at the night, sighing as he tried to quell the fire and clenching of his stomach.

It had all been an accident. The email had come without notice and from a foreign address, but the information was all he had going for him. When he considered the factors leading up to his sudden decision, it probably didn’t make sense.

After all, it was a very cryptic message. The photo attachment and recording were very convincing, though. Kyuhyun smiled humorlessly. It was clear why he had taken the anonymous tip. Anything that had to do with Ryeowook was worth checking out. Perhaps it was just a ploy to get him away from the missing student investigation at the school, but either way, it hardly mattered. All he knew was that Ryeowook was very possibly in the Middle East alone.

Upon arrival, Kyuhyun hailed a taxi, giving them the address of a countryside estate. They drove by dry lands and moonlit huts. There were wild animals grazing and howling, but none crossed or disturbed the journey.

A large, gated estate rolled into view some one hour later, and Kyuhyun tossed a handful of bills to the man – not bothering to check for the amount. He slammed the door, immediately coming face to face with a pair of security guards.

“What business do you have at this hour?” they demanded.

Kyuhyun raised his hands up in surrender, widening his eyes in feigned meekness. “I…I heard of a servant opening…I need the money…,” he dropped to his knees, beginning to sob.

“Hmm…,” the guards exchanged a look.

 _Clearly they aren’t incredibly bright…_ Kyuhyun internalized his thoughts, continuing to whimper and cower in their presence.

Finally, he heard one of the guards muttering orders into a communicator. The next second, Kyuhyun was being ushered into the estate, through the gardens, and into the main building. He hid his smirk, not surprised to find how easy it was to get in. The information in that email hadn’t been a hoax thus far. Hopefully it continued on well.

 

A short, curt interview proceeded and Kyuhyun was positive he had passed with flying colors. The servants lived in a separate building, somewhere past the main gardens and just within the estate limits. He breezed through the dressing and orientation, eyes traveling around in hopes of spotting Ryeowook.

“You will begin work tomorrow morning,” the head servant stated, pointing at his cot.

“Tomorrow? That’s great,” Kyuhyun nodded, smiling without feeling as he impatiently studied the people walking in and out of the house. There were both male and female servants, making it that much harder to locate Ryeowook. Furthermore, the uniforms were unisex. Internalizing a groan, Kyuhyun flopped down on his cot, deciding that perhaps he was a bit tired after all.

Rolling onto his side, he drowned out the voices around him with thoughts of Jungmo and the abandoned mission and the missing students. It wasn’t his business anymore, but it wasn’t actually that easy to let it all go.

 _Who’s responsible…?_ He sighed, shaking his head and burying his face in the pillow. It was surreal being there. Hell, he barely knew if Ryeowook was actually there. For all he knew, it might end up being a wild goose chase.

 

***

 

Sunggyu gazed down at Henry, eyes widening slowly. “I…are you alright?” His brows drew together as he studied the cringing boy. “That was a bad fall.” The older student peered up the stairs, wondering how that had happened. “Someone pushed you?”

“Maybe,” Henry wheezed, rolling over and coughing. “Can…you help me up?” He reached for Sunggyu, who immediately wrapped an arm around him, lifting the light body up. “Thanks.”

“It’s nothing,” he assured, helping him to the infirmary, “Why do you think someone would shove you?”

 _Hopefully I’m the next target._ “I don’t know…,” he frowned, “it might be someone who’s jealous of you…spending so much time with the new kid.”

He stumbled, laughing nervously. “That’s nice of you…but I really hope that’s not the reason.”

“Henry?” Jungmo strode towards them quickly, arms coming out to take Henry from Sunggyu in one fluid motion. He hefted the boy up, holding him with ease. “Hey, what happened?” he demanded, looking to Sunggyu.

The latter shook his head. “I…I just found him at the bottom of the stairs. Someone pushed him, I think.”

“Okay…,” the oldest of the trio nodded, turning and heading off. “Thanks, I’ll take it from here.” Jungmo walked off without waiting for a response, whispering into Henry’s ear, “Did you see who it was?”

“A guy,” he mumbled, “dark hair…,” Henry pulled a folded slip of paper from his pocket, “they passed me this.”

Jungmo pushed the door to the infirmary open. “That’s something,” he said softly, laying the boy down and brushing the hair out of his face. “I’ll check it out. Don’t leave this place.” He exited the room, punching a number into his phone.

“What did you learn?” Changmin prompted immediately.

“It was a good idea to watch the new student, Henry Lau. He was indeed targeted. I just found a note in his pocket. He said it was given to him before someone shoved him down the stairs. It contains a location and time. I think they’re getting sloppy after how close Kyuhyun and I got some days ago.”

“Good. You might finish this case faster than expected,” he remarked, “Make sure to keep an eye on all the possibilities. Check out that location at the designated time. Sound the alarm if you need assistance.”

“Got it,” Jungmo murmured, “Bye.”

 


	47. Chapter 47

 

Kyuhyun slumped back against the cool stone wall, breathing heavily. The sun had disappeared behind the mountains at some point, and only pale light filtered through the open door of the cellar. He looked around at his handiwork, quickly deciding that he much preferred being an agent with some degree of importance.

Being a laborer was far from easy and relaxing. It was definitely mindless, but not the right kind of mindless. He pushed his dirtied sleeves up for perhaps the hundredth time that day and closed his eyes for the briefest moments.

“Are you done?”

Swallowing a groan, he looked up at the robust woman blocking the doorway. “Yes, I’ve finished,” he grunted, heaving himself off the ground.

“You’re a good worker for such a scrawny kid,” she chortled.

“Scrawny?” he blurted, blinking. Kyuhyun looked at himself, hardly thinking that he was scrawny.

“You won’t find a good woman with those arms,” she clicked her tongue, squeezing his lean muscles.

Kyuhyun decided to keep it to himself that he wasn’t interested in women. Nodding a bit, he looked past her. “What should I do next?”

“The work day is over, boy,” she laughed, “go to the lake just beyond the estate. That’s where you’ll find the most privacy for bathing.” The woman winked and patted him on the back.

Tossing a smile at her, he sighed and rubbed his shoulders as he headed down the road. There was nothing else on his mind but getting a nice bath and falling into bed. Well, perhaps seeing Ryeowook would be better than all of that, but after three days, he had begun thinking that he had been duped. The only thing keeping him from leaving the estate was his lack of money, the distraction, and his own prideful sulking.

How could he have been dumb enough to actually be fooled? That didn’t seem right. It couldn’t have been right.

Kyuhyun mumbled to himself as he threaded his way through trees and brush, searching for the private body of water he had been told of. If anything could calm him, it would be that.

After what felt like hours, he stumbled out into a moonlit clearing, seeing sparkling water. The surface was glassy and filled with ripples. Kyuhyun’s eyes drifted around, but soon settled on the figure rising out of the cool liquid. Their hair was long and dark, skin fair and smooth. Slender contours dragged Kyuhyun closer, his body unable to resist the sight of someone so breathtaking.

“Who…are you?” he called out softly.

The figure froze, slowly turning around.

Kyuhyun staggered through the water, slamming into the slender body with so much force, they fell over. Cool liquid raced up, cracking the surface as Kyuhyun crushed their lips together to the popping of bubbles and swishing of wet cloth.

Gasps tore through them as they rose to breathe, but Kyuhyun left barely a moment to regain composure as he dragged them back together, arms tightening around the person. He closed his eyes, chest heaving painfully. If it was a dream, he would hold onto it for dear life. If it was some freaky hallucination, that was even better.

“W-What are you doing here?” Ryeowook managed between kisses. He shoved weakly at the stronger male, feeling his mind going hazy.

“I came for you,” Kyuhyun mumbled, kissing down the smooth column of his throat. “What’s with this hair?” He tangled fingers into the near waist length locks.

“Disguise,” he breathed, squeezing the handsome one’s shoulders, trying to stay on his feet. “Let go of me…Kyuhyun!”

“I’m never going to let you go again,” he whispered, silence following. Kyuhyun dug his nails into Ryeowook’s soft skin, ignoring the groan of pain. “I can’t watch you walk away again.” He pulled back, loosening just enough to soothe the burning nail marks. “…You don’t know what I gave up to chase you here.”

“You’re crazy,” Ryeowook muttered, “This isn’t happening…this can’t seriously be happening.”

“Yeah it can,” he argued, slowly leading the small, hesitant figure towards shore. “It’s happening because I’ve been searching for you.” Kyuhyun gazed down at the moonlit male, face twisting in anguish. “There’s no one here…it’s just you and me. I’ve been chasing after you since you left that day. I…I really gave it all up this time. So please…don’t lie and tell me that you don’t want me. I could never have these emotions if you didn’t feel the same way back.”

Ryeowook said nothing, keeping his hands on Kyuhyun’s shoulders. Words didn’t dare escape him as tears slowly traced the pale skin of his face.

A brief smile crossed Kyuhyun’s lips before he leaned down, pressing a kiss to the silently crying figure. They slowly lowered to the soft earth, barriers being torn away and heat rising in the wake of shattered chills.

 


	48. Chapter 48

 

“That was a mistake.”

“Thanks.”

“No really, that shouldn’t have happened.” Ryeowook curled closer into himself, but didn’t try to break away from the arms surrounding him. He looked up at Kyuhyun who lay back against the warm earth.

The sun was just beginning to rise, sky pale blue as it chased away the darkness and stars. Kyuhyun peered down at the disheveled Ryeowook. “Why did you let it happen then?”

“Because…,” he trailed off, “…because I saw you…and I thought it was a dream, a desert hallucination—”

“—same here,” Kyuhyun cut in, “are you going to say that you regret it because it wasn’t one of those things? I’m here. We’re here. And nothing has changed.”

“Except for the entire world,” Ryeowook muttered.

“Fuck the world,” he rolled his eyes, “if I gave a damn, I wouldn’t be here right now, and neither would you.”

“False,” he retorted, “I came here on a mission.”

“Is that why you’re a girl?” he cocked an eyebrow.

Ryeowook flushed. Sitting up, he gazed down at Kyuhyun. “The estate owner is a major drug dealer. He’s going to be selling a new drug on the black market that can’t be released. It’s more than dangerous. It has capabilities that could destroy everything society has worked for.”

“You’re going to kill him?”

“No,” he shook his head, “I’ve never even shot someone.”

Kyuhyun sat up then, eyes widening. “You’re…serious. You’ve never shot anyone and you’re supposedly the biggest badass in our world.”

Ryeowook thought about leaning away, but before he knew it, he was leaning into the other male, arms wrapping around his body as he rested in his lap. “…this is a mistake.”

“The only mistake was you getting those hair extensions.” Kyuhyun tilted his face up, pressing their lips together again, indulging in the sweet, electric touch. “But seriously…tell me that you haven’t been waiting for this. Tell me that, and we’ll pretend this moment of…weakness, never happened.” He tilted his head, kissing Ryeowook’s jaw softly. “You’ve driven me across the world and back in search of you. This won’t be the end. I’ll just keep coming back because I have nothing else. You’re it, Ryeowook.”

“I have my own world,” he shook his head, “we—”

“—ditch it.”

“Kyuhyun.”

“Same my name again.”

Ryeowook sighed, unable to help a smile. A smirk returned it and Kyuhyun leaned forward, capturing another kiss. “Kyuhyun…,” he murmured.

“What’s more important?” he demanded, “your happiness right now, or your continued justice seeking? There’s always going to be someone else seeking justice. The world isn’t lost if you’re gone. Things don’t start and end with you. So…stop bearing the weight of the world. Just bear me. I’m enough, aren’t I?”

“You have a weird way of arguing,” Ryeowook remarked. I took a deep breath. “I will never stop thinking about you, but right now, do you really think it’s best for us to push what we have?”

“This is the only time!” Kyuhyun snapped. “I won’t let things end, so take me now and save yourself a hell of a lot of time. You’re going to be with me in the end, why not enjoy as much time together as we can?”

“It’s all too fast.”

“It is not,” he shot down, jaw setting, “how many years have I been waiting for this? I’m not going to take it slow. Clearly you were ready to go fast as well.” Kyuhyun’s eyes traveled up and down their evidently naked bodies. “So…escape with me. Stop procrastinating.”

Ryeowook shook his head. “I have a mission here.” Just as Kyuhyun was about to continued arguing, Ryeowook continued, “And when the mission ends, I have a friend who can help…us.”

“…what?” his voice broke, and he quickly cleared it, lowering his gaze.

“When I saw you last night,” he spoke slowly, “I was ready to never wake up…if you happened to be just a dream.”

 

***

 

“How are things going?” Donghae asked over the phone.

Jungmo was striding down the hallway towards the infirmary. The sun was rising, the hallways quiet. “Fine. Henry was great bait. Things are running smoothly. I’ll be meeting with a possible culprit this evening.”

“That’s good. What about Kyuhyun?” he questioned.

“He’s…,” Jungmo pursed his lips, and then clenched his fist, “he’s doing what’s expected of him.” _Technically not a lie…_

“I see,” Donghae muttered, “be sure to send me a status report as soon as possible. I’ll be waiting.” And then the line went dead.

Rubbing his head, Jungmo headed into the infirmary, quietly closing the door behind him. “Henry…you awake?” he asked gently, coming to sit on the edge of the boy’s bed.

The one in question nodded and pointed at the nervously fidgeting boy in the bed next to him. “That guy…the one you brought in a couple days ago is awake. He told me some stuff…,” Henry spoke softer, “He’s really scared. An adult with a scary voice spoke to him and kept telling him to write a suicide note. He refused to…and then he said you and Kyuhyun caught up and stopped the man before they could get to this…building thing. I’m not sure. He stopped talking.” He glanced at the other student.

“I see…,” Jungmo patted Henry’s head. “Well don’t worry about it. I’ll figure things out. Just rest…I’ll close the case tonight, alright?” He smiled softly.

“Okay,” the boy grinned, “I’ll be here then. I’m surprised it went so fast.”

“We don’t like to take our time,” he winked, “in and out, that’s how we operate. Rest for now, and don’t get into any trouble.” Jungmo stood up, heading out of the room to his classes. It would be the only thing to kill the boredom until that night.

Henry lied back down on the bed, shutting his eyes and trying to sleep.

 

 


	49. Chapter 49

 

Kyuhyun pushed Ryeowook back against the wall, smirking as he nipped and kissed the latter’s throat. “This is why we would’ve never worked well together,” he whisper-yelled, pushing Kyuhyun back just long enough to glare at him.

“I don’t know how anybody can work with you being so attractive,” Kyuhyun muttered, chuckling and continuing his exploration of the other male’s neck.

“The deal goes down tomorrow at dawn,” he explained, ignoring the caresses and obvious distraction, “they’re meeting in an abandoned warehouse in the slums. It should be fast and so we have to act fast.”

“How exactly are you planning on taking them down?” Kyuhyun mumbled.

“Donghae is coming.”

The touches stopped cold. “What—”

“—we’re leaving tomorrow afternoon on a flight to Korea.” Ryeowook didn’t meet his eyes. “They won’t find us. This is the end.”

Kyuhyun nodded softly. “…I get it.” He pulled Ryeowook to him, leaning back against the wall.

 

***

 

Jungmo pushed on the door. It was unmarked and invisible if someone weren’t searching for it. The surroundings were already obscure enough. He shivered, remembering the previous night when he had found the bleeding student. Being so close to the actual hideout was beginning to feed his fear and adrenaline.

There were plenty of other cases in which he was put into danger, but for some reason, it felt as if he was playing with a new league. These people were simple drug dealers or black market fools. They had executed what appeared to be a complex chain of serial killings posing as student suicides.

As for why, Jungmo had already formed a possible reason. Media coverage was alarming and more than just the missing students were being unearthed. Secrets, school scandals, and all the other unmentionable deeds done by the administration were surfacing. If anything, that was the main goal, otherwise, what could the motive be? Jungmo hardly thought a simple serial killer was behind it all.

Why choose a school that has a coincidental number of scandals?

He shook his head, slowly descending the stone steps into the cellar. It was growing colder and the stench of chemicals was beginning to overwhelm everything else. Jungmo reached into the back of his pants, feeling for the gun stashed there. Removing it silently, he turned a corner, but just as quickly he whirled around, retreating up two steps.

Bleach splashed across the stone, followed by a loud curse. Jungmo took the two steps back down, firing into the semi-darkness.

A strangled voice cried out.

He ventured further into the makeshift lair, lip curling up in disgust. Staggering back up, he covered his nose, eyes shifting back and forth across the bubbling chemicals, cleaners, and dangling hides of…something he had no wish to identify.

“He told me it would be you…h-he said it would be…,” the voice cracked, body huddled into a bleeding ball across the length of the lab. “H-He said t-there would be b-back up…w-where the _fuck_ is my back up?!” he screeched, beginning to sob.

“Who are you?” Jungmo demanded firing at the pathetic creature again. His heart thudded loudly in his chest as the bullet pierced the figure in his ribs.

“I…I-I just wanted to do the right t-thing…I wanted things to be r-right…this was the o-only way…,” he shivered and gripped the bleeding wounds.

The agent slammed his foot into the sulking madman. Bones cracked under the force. Raising the gun, he fired once more, watching the bullet embed itself into the back of his skull. Shoving the figure onto his back, Jungmo glared down at his face, eyes widening the next second. “…you…”

Fire tore through Jungmo’s thigh. The same fire ripped through his shoulder next. He crumpled to the ground, gun skidding across the floor. Slowly maneuvering around, he gasped for air, muscle spasms rocketing through him.

“Sungmin-hyung was a pretty easy target.”

Jungmo turned his head, eyes straining to focus as his hearing faded in and out from the echoing gun shots. Blood seeped from the bullet holes, edging around the metal pellets.

“His family was totally fucked by this school. They lost everything,” Sunggyu shook his head, sitting on the steps. “I had a feeling you would end up killing him.” He shrugged, “Less work for me.”

“Why…?” he coughed, struggling to control his body.

Sunggyu perked up, smiling a little. “You’re a beast, Jungmo. I didn’t think you would be able to talk after two shots.” He toyed with the gun in his hand. “It’s not really about the school. It’s not really about any of this…but you’ll understand soon enough, Mister Double Agent. You’ve got everyone wrapped around your little finger, huh?”

Standing up, he rolled his neck and flashed a wide grin. “I like you. That’s why you’re not going to die right here and now.” A rather large man appeared, coming down the last few steps to grab Jungmo.

Gasping sharply, he shut his eyes tightly as the guard threw him over one shoulder. Panting, Jungmo glowered blearily at Sunggyu. “S-Shit…,” he drew a careful, pained breath, “where…what…H-Henry…”

The boy’s eyes grew gentle and his face relaxed. “I’m keeping him. Henry is…special. I’ll take good care of him, so don’t worry about it.” He shoved a damp rag in Jungmo’s face then, watching him struggling before going limp.

 

***

 

The night was only beginning to fade when they arrived at the airport, hand in hand. Kyuhyun smiled at Ryeowook, just about to speak when he felt a metal object pressed into his backside. Stiffening, he exchanged a look with the shorter male before tilting his head back to see an armed, stoic guard.

“Please come with us.”

It was a short car ride into the underground parking of the airport. Ryeowook stayed silent, much in the same fashion as Kyuhyun. Neither of them had a doubt it was Donghae who had tracked them down.

That is, until the door slid open and they were shoved out to greet a young boy.

Kyuhyun looked up first, eyes narrowing. “Sunggyu?”

“Hey,” he smiled, raising his gun in a calm warning. “I don’t want to kill anyone if it isn’t necessary. Just give me Ryeowook and everything can end peacefully.”

“What the fuck is going on?” he demanded, pushing Ryeowook behind him, gripping his wrist solidly.

Sunggyu sighed. “It’s not particularly important right now. Just do as I say, and we’ll be set.”

“You can have the world if you want it, but I’m not giving you him,” Kyuhyun stated through ground teeth.

Ryeowook gazed up at the gun wielding boy. “I thought you would be older.”

“I thought you would be manlier,” he returned, still smiling.

“You know him?” Kyuhyun whipped around.

“No,” he shook his head, “I know his name…sort of.” Ryeowook let a faint smile trace his lips. Things were starting to make sense for him. The reason Donghae had made him sign that paper…yes. “They’ll arrive soon. I’m guessing you don’t want to extend this.”

“Clearly not,” Sunggyu murmured, exasperated. “I really don’t want to deal with that partner of yours. He’s a total hassle.”

“I agree,” Ryeowook returned. The next moment, he lunged forward, knocking Sunggyu backwards. The gun sailed out of his hand and then shots were ringing out as Kyuhyun dove for the gun.

He flinched at the scathing bullets, managing to duck behind a car before major damage could be done. Lifting his head up, he fired once, twice, and then a third time, listening to guards staggering to the ground.

“KYUHYUN!”

His head snapped up, body twisting around in time to see a knife driving towards him. A single shot pierced the air and then the wielder froze, eyes widening and body teetering down. Kyuhyun looked over the fallen body, surprise rippling through him when he locked eyes with Ryeowook.

The latter offered a tiny smile, arms shaking, gun smoking. His lips parted to speak, but then his eyes grew, fingers losing their grip on the weapon.

Kyuhyun was up and running, silent screams tearing his throat. The knife withdrew from his back with a sickening noise, leaving thick blood pouring from Ryeowook’s chest. Barely a step was taken before Kyuhyun felt slicing bullet after slicing bullet lodging themselves into his body.

Knees crashed first, and then hands, and finally he was rolling over, eyes unblinking, numbness spreading through the flames.

 


	50. Chapter 50

 

To be continued...


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